Has There Been A Process Of Acceptance For You?

[squireparty]

I'm just curious if other people here have found they have to go through a process of acceptance in regards to PTSD? For me, it has been something along the lines of things are just not going to be the way I once thought they would be. Also, I am probably never going to hold the type of job I once thought I wanted (which is good thing IMHO), and I will probably be making my living self employed in some capacity from here on out. It has been a process of accepting the above - I'm not 100% through it I don't think but I find myself being more and more ok with the above.

Something else I realize is that if I am ever going to be in a relationship (which I have my doubts about at this point), it would have to be with someone accepting of the above, too. I'm not going to try to twist my truth around for anyone any more - or at least I'm going to really really really try not to any more, as I know it only leads to situations which are no good for me.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I don't have difficulty with the PTSD label, I say it was like a war. Though I'm having trouble accepting that I might have to accept a regular job, as opposed to the career I once had.

Deffinition of love is acepting one another for who you are. IMHO

 

[Sailorgal]

There are definitely points at which you accept things will be different. It doesn't mean you can't go back to your previous career, it's something you can only deal with when you come to that bridge. Of course, that bridge looks far more unstable and risky through the eyes of PTSD.

Relationships...everyone is different. I personally wouldn't want to be selling myself short wearing PTSD on my forehead and saying I'll only date people that can accept my condition. True it's part of the package, but depending on how the relationship evolves, I doubt anyone who truly cares will walk away IF it's something you ARE "in control" of, meaning that you're not in that stage of not seeking to get better but just wanting acceptance. I for one never liked drama before PTSD, I don't want someone with it now. LOL!

 

[DharmaGirl]

It took me about a year after I was diagnosed to mostly accept it. I still have problems with believing my trauma, but I'm coming to terms with that too. I would go back to my career but I have to wait until after back surgery and then see how I'm doing.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Squireparty!

I have a bit of a back to front story in a way.

I have found some acceptance of limitations I have. That I need to limit my time with friends; that I need a lot of down time; that my career can't be what I wanted to and I have to ration my resources. That I have to manage my nutrition and self care like one would manage a child. It has taken 30 off years to get here.

The acceptance I have managed has helped me a lot.

But that the actual PTSD is something I am dealing with is something I don't have acceptance of. I think I am making it up most of the time and maybe I am. It is very confusing.

 

[GreenFrog2]

Hi Squireparty,

I think that abstract has covered what I would have said if I was not having an exhausting day. Especially how it is a bit back to front.

I do the things that I need to do to help myself and have pretty much accepted that this is the way things are for me now. But I still struggle to accept that my trauma happened and that I have PTSD..........maybe given more time I will.

I would love to be well enough to have a healthy relationship, hopefully if that person enters my life I will be able to tell them that I have PTSD and the things that I do to manage it. I hope that they will be able to accept that I have a traumatic injury and would be willing to provide healthy support such as reassurance, comfort and kindness.

 

[JustBe]

The crazy thing for me is that my Mom, who was the leader of the pack when it came to invalidation is the main reason that I began to accept my diagnosis and seek help.

She and my Dad (who in the past always presented a united front) counseled me to quit my job and take time for me. They told me again and again that I was not being dramatic (a total 180 from what I grew up hearing) and have been my staunchest advocates and support.

At first I couldn't accept their validation and support, but I am slowly chipping away at the walls I have built up over my lifetime.

 

[Abstract]

who was the leader of the pack when it came to invalidation

Movinon,
What made her change do you think? I am very glad for you.

 

[JustBe]

I think it's mainly that she and my Dad have lived so many years and had many troubles that they have overcome.

My Dad almost died last year and I think they are both learning to live in the moment and enjoy the ride.

It has been a process. My Mom has had her share of anxiety. Her mother was very harsh with her and dudn't show approval or emotion.

Now that the anger, resentment and hurt are healing I can see how her past behavior was more about how she felt about herself rather than how she felt about me.

My folks grew up during the depression and both were the caretakers of their families. It was a hard life. They were taught not to complain or show weakness.

I think in the past, they had their heads down and were pushing forwards as best they could. Now, with age comes wisdom and the space to reflect and become more comfortable with themselves.

Life slows down and you have the time to become who you want to be.

They have given me this gift now and I am trying to believe what they say, but it's hard.

 

[JustBe]

I think that's what we all need. To be validated, appreciated and believed.

 

[DharmaGirl]

New I think that's what we all need. To be validated, appreciated and believed.

Yep, that's it in a nutshell.

I think I am making it up most of the time and maybe I am.

Yes, I also think that. I could have avoided inpatient if I really wanted to, I could have kept my job, I don't really have symptoms, etc... I know I do, but it is easier to think that way. I have to manage myself with the PTSD, and I have lumbar stenosis so I have to manage my activity too.

 

[Phenioxrising]

You know, those who are interested. Look up the human condition.
It's bascilly how we are ment to evolve, and pushes the theory that vallidation is needed for everyone, when it was denied for us.

Also aceptance of ourselves, and what happened to us.