Has This Site Changed Or Is It Just Me ?

[anonymous]

Hi everyone,

I am writing this post just to ask is it me or has things changed within the way people treat each other on here. I have been a member for quite a while now and I have slowly watched from a distance, when I first came to the site I felt so supported by a group of people trying to help each other with Mental health and PSTD issues. Over time I feel that people have changed OR is it me who has changed ?

People seem very quick to jump on other people saying they have said something out of context, that what they said wasn't right, someone said something to someone else etc etc. The threads about chat at the moment about temp bans and getting reported, etc. If I was new to this site I would be to afraid to write a post or go on chat for fear of getting things wrong. Or ending up with replies that made me feel worse than if I hadn't posted a thread in the first place.

A lot of things on here get Rehashed over and over again totally going in a different direction than when first started. I just feel it's losing the feel of helping each other, it's rather feeling like he said she said and you will get in trouble or reported type situation.

Have the number or posts slowed at all ? I have no idea of telling, but for me personally I hardly ever post now for fear of someone jumping on it and the thread turning into a nightmare.

I am probably totally wrong and this thread might turn into a nightmare but that is the last thing I want I don't want anyone to come on and say or blame anyone. I just wanted for people on here to take a second and think back to when you first joined yourself and how has things changed in the way we treat each other.

We are here to support each other, I just feel we have lost a little bit of that.

 

[anonymous]

I agree. Been here over four years and consider leaving often. I basically stick with my diary only now. Most threads are so caustic. People seem to have lost compassion and are simply means to each other - for the most part.

 

[Mafia_Science]

Honestly, I haven't noticed anything bad. I've been a member since September and I've been very active on the forums since, visiting the forums and chatroom frequently. I wouldn't have been able to tell people have been trashing each other if it weren't for the posts about the chat.

Since I've joined, everyone's been very supportive and nice to me, and this website's been very good for me. I've received nothing but kindness from the moment I've joined.

 

[anonymous]

I agree a lot of nastiness and unsupportive behavior.....and I've been a member for over 5 years.

 

[ladee]

I have only been here for a few months... I still see a lot of support. The 'semantics' , hair splitting discussions I just ignore. All that has nothing to do with why I am here. But I guess as it grows, and there is a freedom to express our self, then for me, it is simply a choice to read what will help me or not....
I still feel safe here. And even if I got a 'warning', I would simply look at it as that, a 'warning'.... Being a mental health support site, guess it can get off track sometimes.. That's why admin and mods keep such a close eye on things....

And this thought crossed my mind the other day, may be relevant or not... but since we have a new Administrator, I feel in some ways she is being tested. Anthony has a no nonsense approach and JoeyLittle has a smoother approach, with the same outcome.... I see a lot of 'pushing to see what I can get away with', and to me it's just childish....I just picture admin sometimes trying to herd cats.... what an unbelievable job they have....

But, at the same time, we are given a voice.... Im sure if there is anyone on here that takes what they need and leave the rest, it's admin and mods....

When I see , what I construe as silly word games, I simply follow the people who have something useful to say.... It's a huge site, no one is making me read anything and if I get fearful for some reason, that is coming from me.

And I do understand what you are saying... but as a newcomer, there were such threads here, but I was not drawn to them... I needed help. And it is here and easy to find.... so hopefully you are only seeing the tides of change, nothing ominous.....And maybe those of us who don't like the arguing or whatever it is.... it is calling us to be more supportive on the site.....

Being a newcomer, reading the site rules and policy, it was clear to me, I was responsible for me. Not trying to invalidate your views, just saying we can read anything we want to here..... Some people are on here for years before they say anything.... so please, don't worry, I feel it's just transitional , but no place is perfect as long as there are humans here..... Thank you for posting, it will give others a chance to respond or react....

 

[Gadgie]

Well, I'm fairly new to the site, time wise, but I get what your saying. I dint think it's the site that changes, it's more the people who use it.
I used to be a moderator on a motoring site, but it had to close down, due to a mass attack of spammers!

There is also an ex-service site that I've been a member of for many years, but it was taken over (sold) by what we called the "hush puppy and cravat brigade" you know, the blazer and badge lot?

So a few of us broke away and formed our own site, and we are a happy wee bunch from all over the world.

As for this site changing, I have changed a lot since I came in here, as it's given me the support and help that I needed, and in fact still does. So, yes we do change, but I believe we change for the better.

 

[anonymous]

I'm the OP of this thread, I hit post without realising I couldn't edit.

I read what I had written and was sitting here thinking to myself. We all have PTSD or a supporter of someone with PTSD which can be Very draining and hard. The staff on this site also have PTSD so does the owners of this site. How much time do they spend on here sorting out problems, gossip. arguments, rehashing of things, people just doing things to wind up other people or bait them as we often here the term being used. Then the trolls have to be kept at bay to try and keep us all as safe as we can be. Haven't the staff got enough to do without all the other things they have to sort out. I bet the hours spent in running this site would be thousands not hundreds. I have been self employed my whole life and I know what it takes to run anything behind the pages that we see.

Then we have to remember that the staff have their own everyday problems and PTSD to deal with or they wouldn't be a member on this site.
I would just like people on here to have a think about other people and what it takes to keep this site running and just think before you type as it is so easy to jump on your keyboard and type, you don't get to see how much words can hurt another person when you don't get to see their body language as you are typing or the welling up of tears in their eyes as you are talking to them to think ..... I might be hurting with what I'm saying I will hold back.

It is easy to hide behind a keyboard and just type away, but we forget that words can hurt just because you aren't face to face with someone it still hurts. Please just think about supporting rather than hurting.

 

[The Albatross]

It waxes and wanes, like the phases of the moon. Old song lyric, "It's just a passing phase, you'll grow out of it..." or you won't, or you'll stop posting, or... The community is what the culmination of the posting members are and the community changes all the time.

I too have been a member of around 5 years. The site has more newcomers than it used to I think (hazarding a guess based on intro posts). I though have changed and have settled on how, when, what I want to participate in on the forum - it wasn't always that way. I've viewed the fluctuations with this community as a microcosm of any other community... my town, my church group, my peers.

 

[mary1979]

I dont think its just this site anonymous, though if this is your main contact with the world outside your home, you would see it that way.

I work In a call centre, and am noticing in my daily interactions, there, in my own life and here, people are really stressed and unhappy.
For some reason this tends to cause people to be more judgemental and have less tolerance.

 

[RussH]

It is a mental illness forum, and as such you will have a variety of people who have been hurt, and abused. Their past has made them hypersensitive to comments made, so they are quick to cry foul. There does seem to be a lot of sniping, that that is part of the nature of mental illness.
There is still a lot of support amongst the community. Sometimes we just have to wade through the white noise to find it.

 

[Friday]

I think it largely depends on what you're looking for.

There was drama when I joined. There's drama now. In both cases it seems to be a very minor sub current to the overarching substance of the site and the people here. And both then and now quickly sorted.

I've only been here for about a year and a half / 2 years, though.

 

[anonymous]

OP here

Thanks for all your comments, it just seems to be worse since joeylittle stepped up into running this site as what @ladee said since she has become Administrator, are people testing the waters ? . I don't know but I have just been watching and thought the small stuff is getting in the way of the bigger picture. As @FridayJones said there will always be drama and we all know this but it just seems to have changed lately.
As @mary1979 said I think it is happening everywhere as pressure from life is just getting faster and harder. We are living in a world where you never turn off. You are always in contact and always have a cell phone or the Internet near by. And with that I think we are losing a little of the face to face contact where you can tell from body language of the person you are talking to what they are thinking and how there are feeling and adjust your conversation according to the visual signs they are giving you.

I just think that we have lost a little of that personal emotion and feeling as we are doing more and more on line living and losing a little bit of that human touch.