Have You Denounced Your Abusers?

[Dissociation]

Would you do that? Do you feel compassion for them? Do you think you could feel bad doing that? How would you stand trial?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I do not understand your questions. I had to cut family members out of my life because they were so toxic. I never got to tell them how I felt about their abuse of me. At first I missed them terribly and I felt lonely without family. But I got used to it. Now I am writing letters that I do not send to help me to get it out of me.

 

[Dissociation]

And if the abuse has been a continue and serious violence and they are still harming you, seriously defaming you, for example, or keeping trying to mess your mind up... would you desire to see them in this case? Wouldn't you run away from them and feel safe (maybe) only thousands of miles away?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Both of my abusive parents are dead so I am safe from them. I do not have contact with my sibs, well one sister but it is phone contact only. And she is sick and slowly dying. I did move away from them. I do feel safe now.

Now I focus on my recovery. I want to feel better from the effects of the abuse I suffered as a child. I am still not understanding what you mean. I need you to be more specific.

 

[Sandstone]

I keep wondering about this, especially as so many prominent child abusers in the UK are currently being arrested,

There are only two whose names I know. Do I report them to the police? Or do I just tell myself that it was along time ago and I should focus on me now? But if I do that, am I failing others who might be victims as well?

I don't believe I could cope with giving evidence in court, and I'm not sure I could even manage a police interview. But that seems so cowardly.

 

[Dissociation]

You could denounce them anonimously, you'd put the police on their way, the authorities would do the rest of the job. And it would be riskless for you.

I beg you to think about it.

 

[Sandstone]

Is there anyone who can tell us what the experience of reporting to the police, a long time after the event, is like?

I'm so fragiley balanced right now that it feels very risky.

 

[Dissociation]

I can tell you.
It is really really hard.

 

[Sandstone]

Tell me more - what did you do, what happened? Do you know the outcome?

 

[Dissociation]

I did it because my father tried to kill me.
That's when I called the police and said: stop now.
On the occasion I've told the past things.

The first hearing will took place on the 16th.
I am really nervous and depressed, bacause I am living everything again.
Meanwhile my father has died and my mother and my brother are doing their best to hide my faher heritage from me.

What a nice situation, isn't it?
:grumpy:

 

[Sandstone]

I feel for you - keep us posted.

You are brave to start this and even braver to carry it through. I admire you.

 

[Dissociation]

I don't know if I am brave.
Maybe I am doing the only thing that keeps me alive, because, at this point, if I hadn't have denounced I would have despised myself too much.

Thank you anyway.