Sorry.. forgot something.
I sometimes (not in front of the general public) have what I call a 'kid fit'. I rage and yell and cuss and have kicked and punched things. Not people or animals. Inanimate objects. (I can split firewood like you wouldn't believe when I'm pissed off!) All my life it seems I've had a horrible temper at times, but I take it and put that energy to good use somewhere. Not destructive uses. When I was younger I used to run it off. Earned a lot of blue ribbons in track that way...
When my ex grabbed me by my clothes from behind, I did turn on him and threw my drink of (whatever it was) in his face. But, when anyone grabs at me, I do that. It's just as subconscious as ducking my head when anyone raises a hand around my face. People (family) have picked my 'reactions' apart and critisized me for them for as long as I can remember. So I do try to take responsibility for them, but when can I just not have to feel bad for whatever reaction I have?
I feel like I've done my best to keep a grip and not actually try to hurt anyone. Even when I felt like they deserved it.
I sometimes (not in front of the general public) have what I call a 'kid fit'. I rage and yell and cuss and have kicked and punched things. Not people or animals. Inanimate objects. (I can split firewood like you wouldn't believe when I'm pissed off!) All my life it seems I've had a horrible temper at times, but I take it and put that energy to good use somewhere. Not destructive uses. When I was younger I used to run it off. Earned a lot of blue ribbons in track that way...
When my ex grabbed me by my clothes from behind, I did turn on him and threw my drink of (whatever it was) in his face. But, when anyone grabs at me, I do that. It's just as subconscious as ducking my head when anyone raises a hand around my face. People (family) have picked my 'reactions' apart and critisized me for them for as long as I can remember. So I do try to take responsibility for them, but when can I just not have to feel bad for whatever reaction I have?
I feel like I've done my best to keep a grip and not actually try to hurt anyone. Even when I felt like they deserved it.