Poll Have You Worked Throughout Your Ptsd?

[Abstract]

Have you worked full time or part time whilst having PTSD or have you been unable to work throughout? What helped you work and have you just done so because you had no choice?

 

[Abstract]

I have been unable to work at times but mostly have totally changed my work specs and gone part time. I have removed all stressors that I can possibly remove. I go from feeling like a failure for not being more productive (I am terribly unreliable too) to thinking there can't be anything wrong with me if I can work. Sometimes I almost feel both at the same time.

 

[Venusian]

I have worked full time through the worst PTSD symptoms. It wasn't easy and the stress of getting to work was a lot to deal with. Keeping busy helped get through the days, relaxing at home after work is when the worst of the flashbacks happened. The long drive from the work site to the city was another time that anxiety started building up. Between the traffic, wildlife and train crossings on a narrow highway and then the never ending rush hour in the city, I was a nervous wreck by the time I got home.

Once the job began to wind up and I was laid off, I searched for a job in the city. The pay and hours were a lot less but the commute was a lot shorter and the stress levels were a lot lighter. I am still working full time but my first job had a lot of overtime and my current job doesn't.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have worked some but not very much. I think I worked four years on and off. I even cleaned houses. But I had to quit because it was wearing me out. I did not take my ptsd very seriously. But once I quit that was it for me. I have not worked enough to earn social security. I was a stay at home mom. I worked at a country store/animal rehab for a year. Then I worked at the post office as a janitor. Then I cleaned houses. I had worked for a year at a assembly line for a year, and worked as a waitress at several resturatants. i was not a good waitress. I was nervous around the the people.

 

[TLight]

I worked for over 10 years symptomatic, but it was incredably difficult, many times I'd go without days on end of sleep.........walking zombie, hallucinating. But I saw no other options. I was extremely triggered as it was mostly customer service.
I amazingly was determined enough to finish my degrees during this time (???), ruined my physical health, and then went on as a 'professional' wetland scientist. I was OK on my field days, sorta. But couldn't do that either.

Disability full time now for 4 years. Feel like a failure? Yes. Always thought I'd show my abusers wrong by being very successful.
Now I'm successful at managing my symptoms. Period. At least I'm alive. I think I would have died from exhaustion or suicide.

 

[DharmaGirl]

For a long time I used work to cope with my PTSD. Then when I couldn't go back to my job after back surgery, I got a job I hated and my symptoms got out of control. I'm not working now.

 

[VT86]

I'm working 40+ hours a week at the same job I've had even before I had PTSD. Lucky for me I have a very understanding and patient boss (He was actually the one to go with me when I went to the ER and was admitted inpatient). I think the treatment I have received from my boss and the few higher ups that know has been the only reason I have been able to cope with my symptoms on the job.

 

[Bone Gryphon]

I work part time and study part-time, im not too stressed my progess with my treatment is pretty good. I dont get as much distress anymore. I get good results so Im happy.

 

[Ted Moen]

For the first 25 years following Vietnam, I worked full-time usually lasting at any one job or position for six months to three years, usually finding some "reason" to leave that job or position without any consideration of what I might do next, usually taking some time off (a month or two up to a year and a half) while the episode finished passing.

For the next seven years (26-33 following Vietnam) I committed to therapy and remained in the workplace continuously with a lot of therapeutic support (group 3 days a week, individual weekly with extra sessions when needed). That landed me in an inpatient program for about 100 days. Leaving the inpatient program I felt really good, but within a month back at work I was in the condition that landed me in the inpatient program. With therapeutic support, I agreed to participate in a medical retirement due to PTSD.

I have been medically retired now for twelve years and it has been very good for me. In my low stress environment I am able to manage my symptoms and participate in a set of relationships and activities that generate feelings of productivity, well-being, self worth, and joy of life.

Ted

 

[Privateer]

I've worked. In the same job that caused it, too. That said, since I've joined the fire brigade my symptoms have almost completely disappeared. It's bizarre.

 

[Lucycat]

I put that I have worked fulltime throughout, because I think that is closest although not entirely accurate.

I have had 2 periods of sick leave since being diagnosed - that is a total of 7 months off work in a period of 3 years. However I also know now that I had PTSD for many years before I was diagnosed and continued to work throughout that. So really it is 7 months off in over 20 years. That sounds far better!

 

[maddog]

I have, on paper, continued to work full time throughout my PTSD, though the reality is very different. Since I became symptomatic close to 3 years ago, I have worked for approximately 2 years and a few months, but with significantly declining productivity through that period. I can attest to the impact of a supportive work environment and management, as this allowed me to keep turning up to work and doing what I could for longer than I would have been able to in many workplaces... far longer than I feel I deserved, though I acknowledge that these feelings are a mix of slight reality and significant personal failure and self recrimination.

I am truly blessed to have had the support from my employers and colleagues that I have had - it has been a very stabilising positive influence in my life for the most part, though ultimately also became a daily stressor I was unable to manage as my condition worsened.

I have now been off work, for the most part, since the middle of March this year, and while I did return on greatly restricted hours for a couple of months mid year, I have ultimately had to take long term sick leave and income protection insurance to support myself.

Work has been my life for as long as I have had the capacity to engage in it. Losing my ability to work felt like the ultimate act of collapse and a spiral from which I would never recover. Trying to fight my way back realistically and with adjusted expectations and an open minded attitude as to whether or not I will ultimately be able to retain my job, is something I'm working really hard on right now... with mixed success.

I believe very strongly that no two journeys through employment and recovery are the same. Each person's personal circumstances, both relating to their life and to their work, will have a huge bearing on whether or not employment remains feasible and in the individual's best interests, and if so, what the appropriate terms and conditions of that employment should be. There is no right or wrong, only the sad reality of financial and other obligations that can so deeply impact on what is already a very personal and painful struggle of self worth, self sufficiency and that sense of contributing to the world.

Not working is not about failure or giving up, when it's necessary it's just about self care, and recovery, and recognizing and acting on one's needs. I know how much easier said than done this is, but it's critical to work on believing it...

Maddog