littlestars
Bronze Member
I don't like to be around my boyfriend's family (Father, mother, younger sister, brother-in-law, and nephew). They don't understand me or anything about ptsd (even things that cause the disorder). My boyfriend explained to his father in the beginning of our relationship about my history, how I collect disability, and about how my experiences and this disorder affect my daily life/behavior. At least his father is never judging me (and neither does his nephew because he is only three years old, heh).
However, the other family members actively do judge me. They will casually make passive-aggressive statements that openly mock me, are offensive, and condescending. After they make these comments, they look at me and smirk every time.
I feel as if there is nothing I can do about this except smile and ignore them or just be polite. I hardly ever engage in conversation with them outside of greetings and generic replies. And I just try my best to "blend in with the furniture" and not show any emotion when they behave this way.
Lately, their behavior has left me feeling angry and resentful more than usual. I wish I could reply to their irreverent remarks instead of constantly (and desperately) trying to avoid them and keep my silence. It's even more difficult when they talk about things that trigger me. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself, worsen their behavior, or cause myself to become upset.
Sometimes my boyfriend will stand up for me though, but only when their comments are direct and obviously insulting. He told me he doesn't always stick up for me because he wants to "avoid arguments as much as possible" and that they are "too ignorant to understand". He also said, "Who cares what they think?", which is generally his attitude toward anyone who is negative about him or me.
That doesn't completely stop me from feeling trapped at family events. Having dinner with these people is so miserable for me. Whenever I am around them my initial instinct is to jump out the nearest window. I just wish they knew that treating me this way is so callous and unwarranted.
I want them to just stop already. I don't know what to do. I only know that I don't expect them to ever change. Their behavior has been this way since I have been with my boyfriend (over two years). I honestly never wanted them to know these personal things, but my boyfriend had to explain to his father why I don't work...
Is there anything I can do? Is there anything bland I can say to excuse myself without being obvious that they are bothering me? Anything like that? Please help :(
However, the other family members actively do judge me. They will casually make passive-aggressive statements that openly mock me, are offensive, and condescending. After they make these comments, they look at me and smirk every time.
I feel as if there is nothing I can do about this except smile and ignore them or just be polite. I hardly ever engage in conversation with them outside of greetings and generic replies. And I just try my best to "blend in with the furniture" and not show any emotion when they behave this way.
Lately, their behavior has left me feeling angry and resentful more than usual. I wish I could reply to their irreverent remarks instead of constantly (and desperately) trying to avoid them and keep my silence. It's even more difficult when they talk about things that trigger me. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself, worsen their behavior, or cause myself to become upset.
Sometimes my boyfriend will stand up for me though, but only when their comments are direct and obviously insulting. He told me he doesn't always stick up for me because he wants to "avoid arguments as much as possible" and that they are "too ignorant to understand". He also said, "Who cares what they think?", which is generally his attitude toward anyone who is negative about him or me.
That doesn't completely stop me from feeling trapped at family events. Having dinner with these people is so miserable for me. Whenever I am around them my initial instinct is to jump out the nearest window. I just wish they knew that treating me this way is so callous and unwarranted.
I want them to just stop already. I don't know what to do. I only know that I don't expect them to ever change. Their behavior has been this way since I have been with my boyfriend (over two years). I honestly never wanted them to know these personal things, but my boyfriend had to explain to his father why I don't work...
Is there anything I can do? Is there anything bland I can say to excuse myself without being obvious that they are bothering me? Anything like that? Please help :(
