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Heightened Senses

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Seagreen

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This is just something I have observed about myself and wondered if others did the same.
 
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Yes, I have a heightened sense of sound and it has been like this since I was a young child. I remember once when I was very young, an airplane flew over our backyard. I covered my ears and went into the house screaming. My parents had NO idea what was wrong as the sound didn't affect them in the least.

Now I do a lot to block out the sounds I don't want to hear. I'm going to a sporting event this weekend and I'm taking earplugs AND over the ear muffs b/c I know that the fans can be VERY loud. I don't care if I look like an idiot! If the sound affects me, it will be a bad night all around considering I have to drive into the city and back. (It will be a long day.)
 
Yes, I put this down in part at least to hypervigilance, though anxiety plays a part as well as I worry about too much! I'm always on edge, ready for something to happen, ready for a massive surprise/shock. I'm aware of so much that others aren't, but predominantly sound and I find I get overwhelmed by the amount of sounds I pick up on, especially when I'm out. The only exceptions to this are when I'm very strongly dissociated and yet I still have some awareness of what's going on around me. One thing I'm always aware of is where everyone else is in the house (or if I'm out where people are in relation to my personal space) and though sound plays a part in this, it's a subconscious awareness. Occasionally I will be mistaken (I'm not sure if dissociation plays a part here or if it's just human error) thinking for example my mum is in the kitchen, but it turns out she's in the living room - this often shocks me to the point of screaming and afterwards my anxiety spikes for hours.
 
Sounds are the worst one for me. They trigger my hypervigilance through the roof. I've posted before about my custom earplugs. They reduce a set number of decibels with interchangeable filters. As soon as I got them a lot of things became possible for me again: movies, crowded or loud places are even manageable. I'm a composer and even concerts could be a problem before since for me it's sound pressure more than whether or not the sound is pleasant.
 
Yup.

I have ADHD sensory schtuff (part of my brain is noticing sensory input at all times. I every so often write up a list of everything I'm aware of at any given time. Without thinking about it, the list is at about 50-75. If I start focusing on sensory stuff, that list doubles or triples).

Which is where the PTSD stuff chimes in, as well. When I'm Hypervigilent? Christ. It's the full list. I'm pretty used to ignoring the 50-75 random bits of information. I'm still aware of it, but it doesn't overwhelm me. It's more of like being in a crowded room with everyone talking. You can hear each and every conversation, but you don't have to actually listen to them. Much less be trying to respond. Once the hypervig chimes in though, I actually have to listen. And respond. Envision a crowded classroom of kids all piling on and shouting your name and talking at/to you, while on the phone, with your boss dropping by also trying to talk. Nothing can be ignored. But it's also not just one sense, ever, but all of them.

It's a big part of why I isolate, or conversely go for seeking oblivion (sensory overload, or drugs that drown the world out). I need a break from over active senses.

If I can actually use my senses (sports/movement, crisis of various kinds, etc.) that's another relief outlet. Then things order up by priority. If I'm just sitting around, however, everything has the same level of importance and I drown.

I wonder sometimes if PTSD kicks people's brains into a similar state that ADHD & SPD people are born with (in this area, only, not saying it makes people comorbid). ADHD tricks certainly seem to help, not just me, but my PTSD friends who are in no way ADHD whatsoever. PTSD exacerbates my preexisting stuff, but I've also had a few decades longer of dealing with it
 
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