Hello - 3 Traumatic Events

[ALWAYS AFRAID]

Hello - I am new to this forum and in need of support. I had 3 very traumatic events happen several years ago, all close to each other. Since that time I have been blocking any feelings or emotions, by taking care of everyone else's needs. Total avoidance I now realize. I had it all under control (it seemed) until a year ago when I suffered a rather sudden and debilitating burn out. The burn out opened up some very deep wounds that I never knew were there and had never "dealt" with them. I have been to 2 therapists and end up doing what I always do - ending the therapy and pushing people away. And in the end, nothing was improved. I keep everyone at a big distance, have difficulty trusting anyone and feel afraid all of the time. I need to find a way past all of the hurt and fear that I have inside. I don't share feelings easily, think I am pretty much dead inside and have everyone fooled that I am OK. And I am not OK. I just wondered if anyone else has similar feelings or experiences. It is doubtful that I will ever try therapy again and seem to really just want to be alone and quiet. Any advice would be nice. Thanks for reading. ALWAYS AFRAID.

 

[2quilt]

Welcome

Welcome to the forum! You have come to the right place for healing.

 

[EmoxxKid]

Sounds like you have come to the right place...

Maybe you could tell us a bit more about yourself when you feel like it..

 

[sunnydaze]

Always Afraid,
Don't give up on therapy yet. Perhaps, you can use this forum for therapy first than later seek professional help again.
sunnydaze

 

[kin]

hey im pretty new to this forum too. i hate dealing with therapist, i tried it once as well but some part of me felt really odd about the whole ordeal. im not real big on trust or telling my feelings b/c honestly have of the time, im not real sure what my feelings are. but i know i need to make changes, and at least try. for a few years now ive tried to hide it and i to have everyone fooled. its just much easier to me that less people know, b/c then i can deal with things at my own pace. but i have noticed it effects people more than we think,, more than we realize. i know it affects my hubby b/c he sees that im not interested in him no more, when he's the one of the most precious things in my life. but ive blocked and buried so much that im no longer able to express it. so to cut it short, glad im not the only one new to this thing...l.o.l and it would be cool to here more about you and how you deal with things. advice with me is usually always takin and given.

 

[joanne]

I can really identify with everything u have shared. Lack of funding to the Trauma Center I was recently diagnosed at means that I will recieve no therapy and going it alone is the only practical alternative. Had I been given the treatment i'm fairly sure I would have struggled with all the same feelings you mentioned( Not that I don't or wouldn't have had them anyway). Feels like "Catch 22". I my self see being part of this forum as an valuable oppertunity to relate to others and most importantly not be alone.

 

[pi314159]

Welcome to the forum :)

Keeping people at a distance is something I do because I'm so afraid of rejection and abandonment. I feel if I push people away then they can't leave me.

I find therapy really hard too. It's so hard to trust someone to help you. I know things have to get worse to get better but I just want everything to be better now.

I'm also known to act as though everything is ok (when I can hold myself together) but really I'm dying inside.

I hope you find support and comfort on the forum.