Sufferer Hello, Addict, Rape Victim, Unable To Cope With Every Day Existence

[sfgirl]

Hi... I'm sfgirl, a 26 year old who is finding self more and more unable to cope with general existence. I should also mention that I am a heroin addict struggling with recovery, recently relapsing after three months sobriety. This past June of 2012, a man snatched me and locked me in his hotel room as I was walking to the shower (shared bathroom, dorm-style hotel). He raped me and tried to kill me via strangulation. It was random, I'd never seen him before, and the police have not found him. I cannot move forward from this. I can't work, as even the smallest noise/sudden movement terrifies me, I dislike leaving my room, and I shoot dope to just get through the day.

I just want to be normal again. Yet, I can't find the strength to seek help. I know I am a headcase, I know I need therapy, I know I need inpatient rehab...but getting out of bed every day is trying enough.

I don't know what I am expecting or asking. I just need to be heard. I'm too tired right now but will write more later

 

[Springer80]

Hi sfgirl,

You've been through an awful lot...you do need help but you can only do what you can manage and what feels safe and you can only do one bit at a time. I used to use drugs to cope too but you need to take care of yourself so please be careful

You only need strength to do the next thing and then rest...at the moment writing on here is a good start. Keep writing.

Are you safe where you are now? I hope so. Glad you made it onto the forum...keep yourself warm

Springer XX

 

[safenow]

Hi sfgirl,

Welcome to the ptsd forum. I hope you are in safe place now. Its horrible what you've been through. I'm glad you had the strength to come here. Look around. There are some good threads and you will learn a lot here. Lot of good, supportive people as well.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[intothelight]

Hi sfgirl,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I am sorry to hear about your attack. There is also a sister forum you may find helpful: [DLMURL]http://www.mysexabuse.com[/DLMURL].

Keeping working hard in kicking the heroine addiction and be proud of each day that you go without using. The information and the support on this site will help you as you work on managing the PTSD symptoms.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[pumpkinpie]

Hello,
Yours is the first thing that I have read on here; I have not made an introduction yet because I can't figure out how to. I just installed an app called Tapatalk but in order to even reply to you I had to go to the web page.

Anyway. That's horrible, what happened to you. I can't follow any advice I would give you, other than this: you will do better off the heroin, and don't even worry about how many times you "relapse"-any amount of time off the drugs, is in my opinion, cumulative, counts, and is therefore a success. It took me 9 or ten times to get off Percocet.

You can get into a detox place, sometimes it takes several phone calls, but I'm sure you know that! Have you ever tried Suboxone? For me, it was a miracle drug. I recommend it, but be careful to avoid any doctors who demand cash and don't participate with insurances (I'm not assuming that you have insurance, though).

I hope you feel better. Wish I could give you a hug! I'll be hoping to hear how you're doing.

 

[ms spock]

Hello and Welcome to the Forum.

 

[Suchafnldy2]

You are strong... just posting this message is a huge step. I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I'm sorry for the ways that it still affects you. If you ever want to talk about anything I will listen.

I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. I was raped as an adult, and I was in a head on collision 7 months ago. The PTSD and depression is out of control and overwhelming. I am a drug addict too. I feel like I'm stuck and like I'm constantly struggling to survive the day.

You are not alone.

 

[pumpkinpie]

Oh my...I just now saw that a message I had texted to my son (about Jessica the hippo) somehow "landed" here! Apologies to everyone here; I can't even imagine how that could have happened!

 

[Toria]

Don't worry Pumpkinpie - message deleted!!! Phones and me don't mix at the best of times... ;)