Hello All. New, Nervous, And Need Advice...

[CavScout27]

Is seeing a different provider outside of the military an option? I can't stress how important it is that you feel comfortable around your therapist and it seems like the one you saw today did nothing to make you feel comfortable.

Thanks Raven. Not really an option for me right now because I would have to pay out of pocket for it since I don't have insurance outside of the military, but I'm willing to go that route if it seems like I am not improving or getting anywhere after time. Just want to face this finally and beat it to get somewhat of my old self back. Hoping that I will be a little less distressed next time with her and she did make me feel relaxed at times, but was aggressive on getting me to spit out some of the symptoms of things quickly. It was just really tough for me to put some of the emotions/reactions into words.

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

Welcome Brother,

To reinforce what's already been said, what the military thinks of you and your career in it come much lower on the priority list than you finding help and dealing with your situation. You've been wounded, and that wound needs attention. IT WILL NOT HEAL BY ITSELF!

Understand that what you feel and how you react ARE PERFECTLY NORMAN considering what you've experienced. So, don't beat yourself up over problems in your daily life. There are ways to deal with those problems. But, mastering the techniques necessary to get you through the day and the rest of you life take dedication and practice, practice, practice.

You will always be a warrior. Returning to the killing fields would be perfectly natural for you, and all the rest of us. You'd settle in immediately. But, there's no life on those fields. Take the time to find the life you set aside. It's still there.

SD

 

[Kaishi]

Hello and welcome to the forum, Jason.
Sorry to hear your latest appointment didn't work out. Though I'm thinking your therapist really isn't in a position to dictate you where to seek help based on diagnosis, I view it as unprofessional; providing references would have been better, heck even anecdotal data to catch up at and ask for other directions later would do. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Is there any possibility for getting discounts acknowledging your financial situation / sliding scale payments with the therapists? I'd go toward trying to negotiate prices in sums you are able to pay, but then I realize that may be too much an effort with finding someone who'd both be professional and open to that possibility.

 

[SteveMD]

CavScout: I join the welcomes to you.

I can understand the comments about negative unit reactions, but, getting the diagnosis right seems to be a big deal.

When I first contacted VA, I was taken into the Trauma Recovery Program (Outpatient), but did not start actual PTSD group sessions until after a formal diagnosis six months later. Meds and CPT in the meantime.

I learned that it is important to get your framework and symptoms as clear as possible, and aligned to the techno-speak of CAPS/DSM V. Look up the criteria, and make notes for yourself to knock-down each one at the next appointment. Start with an incident that meets their criteria (use one that is good enough; many with your track record usually have several to pick from, but just hammer one down). Move on the triggers associated with that, and the criteria. Get in and out as fast and smoothly as possible.

Even in the VA and civilian world, the diagnosis is critical as the gateway for what treatments that can be provided. But it is not as hard as you think in advance---just stick to the points.

 

[Jimmy1]

There is no easy way mate. Just read, read, read, and read, then ask questions and read some more.

When given medication ask exactly what they are for, and what you can expect. Ask about weaning off them and withdrawal. You should be given the product information leaflet, but ask anyway. Then when you go to the pharmacy, ask the pharmacist about it.

 

[CavScout27]

Hello again. Wanted to update you all on my situation. I went to see the Behavior Health doc for the second time and it seemed a bit easier that the first time I went in (I was a wreck on the first one). She mainly asked a few more general questions and wasn't as aggressive as she was the first visit. I talked to her more about the issues I go through when I'm out in public places and went into some of my anger problems. I have a real quick temper and it has gotten me into trouble on a number of occasions during my career, all staring after Iraq. I was also put on a different medication from the Lexapro because it made me feel like a zombie. She put me on Remeron and I've been on it for a few days. Haven't noticed much of a difference and have actually been feeling more on edge.

I also discussed more with her about the anxiety and momentary flashbacks I get when I go to the field and fire weapons and how I have a hard time calming down and sleeping when I'm out there because of it. She then asked me some surprising questions about why I have stayed in the Army if I deal with those things and if I thought I could continue to do it. The reason for that is because I had such a hard time in civilian life when I got out back in 2004 and basically quit college, isolated myself, and refused to get help out of personal pride and stigma of it. Being around my fellow Soldiers does make me feel safe because we look out for each other and we have that bond. In the civilian world you don't have that at all sadly. I came back to what was easiest for me to cope with these problems even though some things (deployments/the field) make them worse. It's weird really, the one thing that caused my suffering (the Army), is the one thing that I have to rely on to alleviate some of the suffering. It kind of seemed as if she was asking me if I wanted to quit doing it because of what I go through (as if I had the choice anyways, which I don't - I'm indefinite).

She didn't mention my official diagnosis and I didn't ask, but she did talk about treatment with me. She said she wanted to do EMDR therapy. Have any of you tried it with success? She said she would only begin when I thought i was prepared for it and that she wanted to do a couple sessions with me about my anger issues first. At this point I have gotten so bad that I am willing to try anything to help. I've just gotten to the point where it feels like I just want to shut down and have a mental breakdown. I did tell her about my past suicidal thoughts and one plan to go through with it last year, but didn't because of my family and faith. My mind sometimes just gets tired from suffering with all of it and I do fear for myself when it gets bad like that. I told her that I don't have any of those thoughts at the moment, but she did say bringing up all those past experiences doing EMDR will be hard and really painful and that does have me feeling really afraid, but know I have to do it to get better.

I didn't ask, but a question for those on active duty or was on active duty going through this. What happens if I do get that bad again (thinking suicide)? Where could I go for help (the ER,my chain of command?) and what would they do to me? Would they admit me into a treatment center or something and would doing that effectively kill my career? I worry about the latter, but the reason I ask is because I do want to have an emergency plan in place not only for myself, but for my wife and family if it gets that bad.

Thanks again for all of your advice and help with me. Reading all of your advice on this site to each other on how to seek help and cope with many of the exact problems I struggle with has made it easier to take the very tough first step in confronting this beast.

 

[CavScout27]

Hello and welcome to the forum, Jason.
Sorry to hear your latest appointment didn't work out. Though I'm thinking your therapist really isn't in a position to dictate you where to seek help based on diagnosis, I view it as unprofessional; providing references would have been better, heck even anecdotal data to catch up at and ask for other directions later would do. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Is there any possibility for getting discounts acknowledging your financial situation / sliding scale payments with the therapists? I'd go toward trying to negotiate prices in sums you are able to pay, but then I realize that may be too much an effort with finding someone who'd both be professional and open to that possibility.

Thanks for the advice Kaishi, although I felt a little better about her during this last session than the first one.

I hadn't thought of that and will call around tomorrow and see if any private providers would be willing do something like that for me just in case I don't get anywhere with the military doc.

 

[CavScout27]

CavScout: I join the welcomes to you.

I can understand the comments about negative unit reactions, but, getting the diagnosis right seems to be a big deal.

When I first contacted VA, I was taken into the Trauma Recovery Program (Outpatient), but did not start actual PTSD group sessions until after a formal diagnosis six months later. Meds and CPT in the meantime.

I learned that it is important to get your framework and symptoms as clear as possible, and aligned to the techno-speak of CAPS/DSM V. Look up the criteria, and make notes for yourself to knock-down each one at the next appointment. Start with an incident that meets their criteria (use one that is good enough; many with your track record usually have several to pick from, but just hammer one down). Move on the triggers associated with that, and the criteria. Get in and out as fast and smoothly as possible.

Even in the VA and civilian world, the diagnosis is critical as the gateway for what treatments that can be provided. But it is not as hard as you think in advance---just stick to the points.

Thanks for the advice. I do worry about being misdiagnosed because the military has had a bad track record of trying to pin it or call it something else in order to screw Soldiers. Seen it happen to guys who got in trouble after deployment because of the beast and the Army just through them straight out to the wolves with no help. Damn shame.

I just looked up the dsm v and I suffer with a majority of the symptoms on there to meet the criteria for an official diagnosis. I'll use what you said as a guideline from now on to allow me to discuss it more easily when I'm in there.

 

[Spock]

Welcome to the forum Jason: check out the media section:
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