SeanCharles
Diamond Member
Dearest Leon (Bud),
I am writing this letter after all this time to say hello and to let you know that I love you and have not forgotten you and that I know you'll always remain within my heart.
While, at times I may not have returned the unconditional love that you showed me while you were living, there was something that I feel that I need to share that I've manged to overlook and is that I've been holding on to some anger over something you had decided upon and didn't consider my feelings at the time when you and mom made the decision while were alive.
I've written a letter like this previously and whether or not I addressed this anger then or not I am writing this letter years later to release that anger now, even though I had originally managed to gently close the door on this past loss without any resignation. I realize that the decision was necessary and that Mitzi was in pain, blind, arthritic and having her put down was no way easy. I am writing this here and now that by hanging on to this anger any longer only hurts me, more so than this does you so without holding back I forgive you, as well I realize too that I forgive myself too as I've been hurting myself by keeping the anger all these years even after I lost you back in 2001! (15 years gone and I was 15 the year Mitzi was put down if memory is accurate).
With love always,
GC, AKA SeanCharles, et al
My relationship with Leon, AKA Bud had until an intervention been extremely difficult!
He and my mom married when I was 10! Mom was hired by him as his secretary and another party where they worked and eventually the two of them dated for a length of time before my mom was promoted and they both decided to marry.
He was a good man! Knowing what I know now about PTSD, I am certain that he had the disorder. I know that he and I had commonality with childhood situations, and he was also a WW II vetran. He stepped in when I needed someone to take the bull by the horns and he stepped up placing our relationship on the line.
When he and mom married I felt a lot of mixed emotions, the strongest being resentment. I realize that he never intended to replace my bio father. I needed a male role model in my life, my bio father wasn't being one. Why did I resent this man in the beginning was I was afraid to let another male share my heart because I had it broken previously.
I am stopping here for now.
I am writing this letter after all this time to say hello and to let you know that I love you and have not forgotten you and that I know you'll always remain within my heart.
While, at times I may not have returned the unconditional love that you showed me while you were living, there was something that I feel that I need to share that I've manged to overlook and is that I've been holding on to some anger over something you had decided upon and didn't consider my feelings at the time when you and mom made the decision while were alive.
I've written a letter like this previously and whether or not I addressed this anger then or not I am writing this letter years later to release that anger now, even though I had originally managed to gently close the door on this past loss without any resignation. I realize that the decision was necessary and that Mitzi was in pain, blind, arthritic and having her put down was no way easy. I am writing this here and now that by hanging on to this anger any longer only hurts me, more so than this does you so without holding back I forgive you, as well I realize too that I forgive myself too as I've been hurting myself by keeping the anger all these years even after I lost you back in 2001! (15 years gone and I was 15 the year Mitzi was put down if memory is accurate).
With love always,
GC, AKA SeanCharles, et al
My relationship with Leon, AKA Bud had until an intervention been extremely difficult!
He and my mom married when I was 10! Mom was hired by him as his secretary and another party where they worked and eventually the two of them dated for a length of time before my mom was promoted and they both decided to marry.
He was a good man! Knowing what I know now about PTSD, I am certain that he had the disorder. I know that he and I had commonality with childhood situations, and he was also a WW II vetran. He stepped in when I needed someone to take the bull by the horns and he stepped up placing our relationship on the line.
When he and mom married I felt a lot of mixed emotions, the strongest being resentment. I realize that he never intended to replace my bio father. I needed a male role model in my life, my bio father wasn't being one. Why did I resent this man in the beginning was I was afraid to let another male share my heart because I had it broken previously.
I am stopping here for now.
