Sufferer Hello Fellow Warriors

[Joey Bones]

Hi I'm not Joe,

Family guy, raised two kids married for a long time. I'm pretty active still do a lot of kid stuff, camp, kayak, mountain bike, Amateur musician. Recently got back into motorcycles since losing my best buddy Bear-Dog early last July. I miss him soo much.

Lifelong in and out of addictions, thought that was my main problem but the meetings and program never seemed to fit quite right.

Recently discovered what CPTSD was just about 3 years ago. Online. Read pets Pete Walkers book CPTSD: from surviving to thriving, at least enough of it to know that's what's been messing me up all my life. I've gotten somewhat better, I don't hate myself anymore, or blame myself, but I still suffer greatly from loneliness. I have friends but they aren't normal relationships. And I somehow seem to stay in them (friendships etc).

I'm a freezer, and I haven't been able to change that yet. Therapists were useless to me. I'm currently seeing a spiritual healer, I'm not religious but believe in someone/ something, and I believe in miracles. I've experienced too many to deny their existence.

Life has been a real struggle the last two years. New job new house kids off on their own now my pup who was my best friend is gone. It just seems like every time life starts to go well BAM, something else happens that throws me off.

More than anything I feel alone.

Hoping to find some good motivation and tips/tricks from others here who are gaining ground. I'm scheduled to retire in a few months. I've been white knuckling it but I think I'll get there. I really think life is going to change on a big scale in a big way once I retire. Maybe that's dumb to think but I have my reasons.

Thank You for reading a little about me and giving me your time. I'm looking forward to connecting with others who suffer and sometimes triumph here. Most of us know that recovery is a process and it's not linear or easy to measure all the time, sometimes two steps forward one step back.

Hope this day finds you feeling a bit of relief and piece of mind. I think that all most of us really want maybe I'm wrong. I've been too a few really dark places lately. It seemed I was able to let myself feel the entire feeling of doom fear and total distress and then move on quickly. I'll be sober 10 years soon, maybe I'm just letting myself feel the feelings idk...

Again thanks for reading.

 

[Riley Jones]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes courage to open up about your struggles and experiences. It sounds like you have been through a lot and have been on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

Living with CPTSD can be incredibly challenging, but it's commendable that you have been proactive in seeking help and exploring different methods of healing, such as reading Pete Walker's book and seeing a spiritual healer. Each person's healing journey is unique, and it's important to find what works best for you.

Loneliness can be a difficult emotion to navigate, especially when dealing with past traumas. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can make a significant difference. This community at myptsd.com is a safe space where you can share your experiences, receive support, and learn from others who are also on their healing journey.

Retirement can indeed be a significant life transition, and it's natural to have hopes for a positive change in this new phase of your life. Remember to be gentle with yourself and continue seeking support, whether it's here in the community or through professional help.

Recovery is a process, and it's okay to have setbacks along the way. Celebrate your progress and be kind to yourself during the more challenging times. Remember, you are not alone in this journey towards healing.

Feel free to explore the different forums on myptsd.com that may be relevant to your experiences, such as those focusing on loneliness, retirement, and recovery. We're here to support you along the way.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Joey Bones]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes courage to open up about your struggles and experiences. It sounds like you have been through a lot and have been on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

Living with CPTSD can be incredibly challenging, but it's commendable that you have been proactive in seeking help and exploring different methods of healing, such as reading Pete Walker's book and seeing a spiritual healer. Each person's healing journey is unique, and it's important to find what works best for you.

Loneliness can be a difficult emotion to navigate, especially when dealing with past traumas. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can make a significant difference. This community at myptsd.com is a safe space where you can share your experiences, receive support, and learn from others who are also on their healing journey.

Retirement can indeed be a significant life transition, and it's natural to have hopes for a positive change in this new phase of your life. Remember to be gentle with yourself and continue seeking support, whether it's here in the community or through professional help.

Recovery is a process, and it's okay to have setbacks along the way. Celebrate your progress and be kind to yourself during the more challenging times. Remember, you are not alone in this journey towards healing.

Feel free to explore the different forums on myptsd.com that may be relevant to your experiences, such as those focusing on loneliness, retirement, and recovery. We're here to support you along the way.

Thank You, it's good to be here !!!!

 

[mszl]

Hi! Nice to meet you! I also deal with C-PTSD in my life. I was diagnosed just over a year ago. It all starts to make sense when you can put a name to it.

Sorry to hear that your pup has passed away.

This forum is full of great people. I’m sure you will find many to connect with and, hopefully, alleviate some of your loneliness.

Take care!

 

[mszl]

Since we’re fellow warriors, what’s your weapon of choice in the battle against inner demons? For me, it’s a frying pan… ;)

 

[Joey Bones]

Since we’re fellow warriors, what’s your weapon of choice in the battle against inner demons? For me, it’s a frying pan… ;)

When I first read the book, it spoke about our inner voice, and our self talk. Once I recognized that voice I was amazed at how fast and effective it had become. That voice was a feeling before the thought ever came. I started quietly challenging that inner voice as if it were someone else. (It was someone else, several people over the years)

I told it to get going, it was full of crap, I started questioning that inner voice directly. "Am I REALLY a failure or did I just fail at one task one time ? Let's look at facts and events ? Does one example of things not working out for me mean that nothing ever works out for me ?"

I started speaking differently to myself. Saying isn't there even a chance (no matter how hopeless I felt at the moment) that things would work out, be OK ? I'm a person who likes to give odds although not much of a gambler. I started looking at odds and logic.


What was amazing was how very weak that voice was, how easily it gave up once it was challenged. I thought it might be a struggle to the bitter end but once challenged and told to hit the road it was evident how easily that voice gave up.

I'm not saying that inner critic never comes back, that I never have fallen prey to it again not recognizing and addressing it, but yeah it's gotten a lot better.

Since understanding what happened to me at a helpless vulnerable age, I no longer blame or hate myself over it...

 

[Freddyt]

Life has been a real struggle the last two years. New job new house kids off on their own now my pup who was my best friend is gone. It just seems like every time life starts to go well BAM, something else happens that throws me off.

Yup. I'm with you.

Welcome. This is a wonderful community that can be just that when others don't "get it".

Like someone here said when I just got here "its a great place to learn how to live your everyday better" and it is.........

 

[PlainJane]

Welcome :)