Undiagnosed Hello Guys ))

[JennaJenn]

Hey everyone, as you are probably guessing I'm new here. My name is Jenny and I'm 19, and I came here because I didn't know what else to do. I dont want to feel like Im alone in this anymore and I hope I make friends here. Just so that you know a little more about myself I love sushi, animals and Gray's anatomy. Peace <3

 

[Ronin]

Hi Jenny. Nice to meet you.

Do you have a history of trauma?

You say you didn't know what else to do, can you tell us a little bit more about what you're dealing with?

 

[Recovery4Me]

This is an wonderful board in which to build supporting friendships as well as solid material concerning PTSD ! Glad that you found us.

 

[JennaJenn]

I think my father has some kind of undiagnosed serius mental illness and it's been so hard for me and my mom to live with him. He gets angry a lot, missinterprets normal situations, is very strict and emotionally abuses and insults my mother, while acting like all of this is normal. i grew up hating myself for being scared of him and not being able to love him like I love my mother. i care for my dad but i feel like he is very unstable and can snap at anytime. Me and my mom been through a lot and it would be a very long post if I tried to explain all of his irrational behavior. The worst is that I think my mom feels she has no way out and Im afraid what kind of effect my dad's behaviour will have on my brother when Im not around. I dont want him to become damaged like me..I ve been through some stuff as well, struggling with low self esteem and anxiety, and im guessing maybe ptsd.Thanks for the support!

 

[JennaJenn]

It's 1 am and I should be sleeping right now, having an important exam next week and all. But I simply can't because my mom confided me that my dad said he was tired of trying to change and we all just had to accept the way he is. That got me pretty concerned, since he started somehow getting better (since he starting working out he became a BIT calmer) but if he gets back to the way he used to be, Im not sure I will be able to cope. Just thinking about those times makes me feel like crying. Things are better now that I'm attending college and moved away, but I still visit during weekends. i feel like im living two separate lifes, the one with my friends and flatmates and the one with my family. But mostly, Im tired of seeing my mother upset and feeling scared all the time.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Congrats on you going to college! That is an wonderful investment for your future. As well there are forums with many supporters of those whom have been diagnosed, so I am sure that you will feel heard.:hug:'s if you accept

Sooo insofar as coping with your home life, not all things are done the same across countries nor within colleges within the same country. So I am gently inquiring does your college offer counseling or have a list of places that might assist you within building strong and appropriate boundaries for yourself? Sometimes it helps to have an professional support you in making choices that may be along the lines of not going home every weekend under the honest quest of solid study time.

Just a thought, may not be an viable consideration for you.:) Just remember rough weather does not last forever, keep your hope alive.

 

[pixel]

Hi @JennaJenn, welcome aboard!

Nice to have you here with us :)

 

[lymphomamama]

Hey Jenna! :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :-)

 

[JennaJenn]

Thank you so much! I'm studying dental medicine and I couldn't be happier about it. Still considering applying to med school though, but the fear of not being able to pay for it and wanting to move out the sooner I can kind of holds me back. My college does not offer counselling services, but I do have a hospital right next to my college that does, I'm just not sure I can afford it for now. I sure wouldnt mind to use that kind of services if they were available, as I feel like I definitely have somethings I could work on.
And yeah, I already try to do that, trying not to go home eevery weeked since I cant really study much when Im at home. It's just hard because I end up missing my cat so much ahaha.
Reading some of the testemonials here I'm baffled over how much you guys have gone through. You seem such a strong community and I couldnt feel more welcomed. Hope I end up sticking around and maybe give and get some support.

 

[Ironlady]

Welcome to the forums Jenny!

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Welcome Jenny.

I'm sure you will find a lot of support here. You're right. It is a community and we do support one another. I'm sure if you browse some of the threads you may find some similar situations and get some good solid advice.

I was looking for support and found this forum and so much more than I ever expected!