Undiagnosed Hello. I guess I'm new here and should post this. Traumatized by mental health professionals

[ProfessorPi]

Hi. I'm Pi. Just a warning: I'm not sure if I actually have PTSD, I haven't gotten a diagnosis. But the people who give those out are the people I hate so I would just rather avoid going back to the Bad People so that they don't hurt me again.

My body was invalidated in a mental hospital when I was 12. Not sexually, but invalidated feels like the right term for what happened. I have trouble actually talking about what happened because it's just not a pleasant thing to remember and often triggers some sort of panic attack. (I don't know if it's a real panic attack. But I cry a lot and can't stop thinking of how the Bad People will get me and tic a ton. So. Something similar to a panic attack?) I was also restained a ton, several times a week, sometimes even multiple times a day. Also isolated from everything that made me comfortable, but about half of that was just me wanting to keep the Bad Place separate from normal life.

I have a lot of issues with memories of this place and the people who did it to me. I call them the Bad People because it just makes me more comfortable. Sometimes I just kinda panic about them coming back and taking me back to the Bad Place or invalidating me and restraining me all over again. Normally happens whenever I visit a medical professional. Or something will remind me of the Bad Place and I'll just start freaking out. (Most recently it was my reading list for next year- I think I'll need to find a way out of reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.)

I guess I cam here hoping to try and make the Bad People go away. There are other ways to say that, but the language used in mental health circles is something that stresses me out so I don't like to use it. Reminds me of the Bad People. But I want to make them go away, and I need to find a setting where I can trick myself into thinking it's not mental health related when it actually is. Forums seemed like a good option, so I'm trying here. We'll see how it turns out.

Other than thinking I have PTSD, I also have Tourette's and OCD and I could have more but I don't look at what I was given. I like knowing so I can find people like me, but it also stresses me out to talk too much about it.

So. That's that. I've introduced myself. Just please, if you do respond, don't be super heavy on mental health terminology because that just makes things worse and I've already started crying because I'm making myself write this.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi @ProfessorPi and welcome to the forum. It does sound you had an unpleasant experience in a psychiatric unit. I am wondering how old you are now? When you speak of 'getting out' of a reading list it sounds to me like you are still in secondary school. Would I be right? What brings you to a PTSD forum? You say you don't have that diagnosis, and you don't describe any of the PTSD symptoms so I am unsure what you are hoping to learn from the forum.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hello @ProfessorPi

I guess I cam here hoping to try and make the Bad People go away. There are other ways to say that, but the language used in mental health circles is something that stresses me out so I don't like to use it. Reminds me of the Bad People. But I want to make them go away, and I need to find a setting where I can trick myself into thinking it's not mental health related when it actually is. Forums seemed like a good option, so I'm trying here. We'll see how it turns out.

^I don't know what this means.

If you've been in a mental health institution, psych ward etc why would they not tell you about a diagnosis of ptsd if indeed you had it?

 

[Fadeaway]

readingl hospital may not have enough information about your history to diagnose PTSD. They ate going to focus on the disorders you already have. Although they have no buisness treating tourettes as it isn't a mental illness and ocd is a symptom of tourettes not a diagnosis in and of itself.

Do you know how many people in the world are actually qualified to treat tourettes properly? Only 2 in the entire world. There is very little in the way of decent information out there. PTSD and tourettes symptoms overlap.


My best friend has comorbid PTSD and tourettes and I have gone with her to confences and have spoken with the leading experts. The knowledge out there couldn't fill a thimble so while you are experiencing PTSD like symptoms as the result of tourettes the knowledge gap means you probably aren't given the what to expect once you hit puberty with tourettes manual.

I would let your teacher know, without giving too much detail that reading that book would cause you serious harm.

One pro tip, stay far away from any therapist that uses cbt. Trying to modify your behavior will only make tics worse and don't listen to the millions of dipshits that will try to tell you different.

 

[Lucycat]

Only 2 in the entire world.

How does anybody get qualified as clearly there cannot be anybody qualified to teach? Curious dilemma.

 

[blackemerald1]

One pro tip, stay far away from any therapist that uses cbt. Trying to modify your behavior will only make tics worse and don't listen to the millions of dipshits that will try to tell you different.

^Do you mean this generally or specifically to the OP & their particular situation?

 

[Ronin]

I think I'll need to find a way out of reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

If this is for a school assignment, just tell your teachers you are not able to read that for personal reasons, suggest alternative book you will joyfully do the task with, either the same era or line of writers, just not what deals with institutionalization.

I can understand how restraints & hospitalization would be terrifying for a neurodiverse teen, yeah.

One pro tip, stay far away from any therapist that uses cbt.

IDK I agree with that, particularly because CBT is quite useful for a range of conditions, & this issue would be easily solved by finding a therapist knowledgeble of, or specializing in, spectrum disorders & related, as OCD, Tourettes, etc.

Not by avoiding CBT like a plague.

Edited to add, as to Tourette treatment, Tourette Association of America has a list of contacts, most specialists centered in Cali & Florida it seems.

Though I imagine any Spec Ed teacher would be required to cover that, as a part of their curriculum, so would therapists working with Spec Ed populations.

Not psychiatrists / MDs, so not Bad place, maybe? IDK how you take those. :)

 

[Fadeaway]

@Lucycat it is a real problem, there are neuropsychologists of couse who have training, but it is lacking at best and highly misinformed.

CBT is useful in a lot of situations just not tourettes due to the nature of the disorder. Behavior modification increases symptoms. It is not a mental illness, it is a neurological disorder and functions the opposite of the illness CBT treats.

The knowledge is lacking, a specialist is only as good as their training. I know there are two different tourettes organizations in the U.S. One aweful, thread other decent. I don't remember which one is which right now. As a whole though the industry is underdeveloped.

 

[Justmehere]

You have identified that stress means more tics and changing your thoughts to something else means less tics. Do other distractions help? There is a possibility the book One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest might be helpful or validating. It doesn’t glorify mental health care. If it’s too much, then it’s too much, and I do strongly suggest talking to your teacher about your concerns. Is your family supportive and understanding?

A number of studies have been done to show CBT is helpful for many with PTSD and helpful for many with OCD. There have been consistent results from years of studies on CBT for Tourette’s that have shown it to be effective and even led to positive changes in the brain. As far as 2 therapists claiming to be the only experts in the world? Eh. I have run into that even in the world of PTSD treatment - a few claiming they have it all right and everyone else in the entire world is wrong. I’d be suspect of such claims by any provider. More research is needed but that isn’t grounds to throw out existing science and studies. Everyone has to find what works for them and the resources available to them. CBT works for some, not others. I’m not sure if you are interested in treatment at this time though.

Restraints can be a very horrible thing to go through. Have you been able to talk with anyone involved in your treatment about what you experienced and how it’s impacting you now? Or have you been too terrified to ask?

 

[Fadeaway]

Something got lost in translation I am talking about neurophychiarists whom all they do is research tourettes not therapists. I should have been more clear when I said properly, I should have said the most effect methods.

Anyways, I am not going to change the world when it comes to fighting the bamaging advice of CBT when it comes to tourettes. But I swore to try.

I can understand when it seems so effective for many other things why it might be good here. Everyone is doing it right, so it must work right? It is a shear lack of understanding of tourettes. It isn't a mental illness and it isn't a behavior disorder.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Hi. I'm Pi. Just a warning: I'm not sure if I actually have PTSD, I haven't gotten a diagnosis. But the people who give those out are the people I hate so I would just rather avoid going back to the Bad People so that they don't hurt me again.

My body was invalidated in a mental hospital when I was 12. Not sexually, but invalidated feels like the right term for what happened. I have trouble actually talking about what happened because it's just not a pleasant thing to remember and often triggers some sort of panic attack. (I don't know if it's a real panic attack. But I cry a lot and can't stop thinking of how the Bad People will get me and tic a ton. So. Something similar to a panic attack?) I was also restained a ton, several times a week, sometimes even multiple times a day. Also isolated from everything that made me comfortable, but about half of that was just me wanting to keep the Bad Place separate from normal life.

I have a lot of issues with memories of this place and the people who did it to me. I call them the Bad People because it just makes me more comfortable. Sometimes I just kinda panic about them coming back and taking me back to the Bad Place or invalidating me and restraining me all over again. Normally happens whenever I visit a medical professional. Or something will remind me of the Bad Place and I'll just start freaking out. (Most recently it was my reading list for next year- I think I'll need to find a way out of reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.)

I guess I cam here hoping to try and make the Bad People go away. There are other ways to say that, but the language used in mental health circles is something that stresses me out so I don't like to use it. Reminds me of the Bad People. But I want to make them go away, and I need to find a setting where I can trick myself into thinking it's not mental health related when it actually is. Forums seemed like a good option, so I'm trying here. We'll see how it turns out.

Other than thinking I have PTSD, I also have Tourette's and OCD and I could have more but I don't look at what I was given. I like knowing so I can find people like me, but it also stresses me out to talk too much about it.

So. That's that. I've introduced myself. Just please, if you do respond, don't be super heavy on mental health terminology because that just makes things worse and I've already started crying because I'm making myself write this.

Good first step! ?