Undiagnosed Hello, in need of solace

[Carrietired]

Hi everyone, hope you're having peace tonight/today.
I'm 52, with freshly budding PTSD, I think anyway.
I'm hoping just reading your stories will help me find a new way of viewing my life.
Thank you for the chance.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :hug:

 

[blackemerald1]

Hello @Carrietired adding my welcome too. :hug:
Have you been diagnosed with PTSD and are you receiving any treatment?

Hope we can support you here.
b1

 

[Swift]

Welcome :)

 

[Carrietired]

Hello @Carrietired adding my welcome too. :hug:
Have you been diagnosed with P...

I have not been diagnosed. I just can't imagine this is anything else.
I'm so depressed I can barely stay awake. I sleep walk, I have terrors, and anger issues.
I have several different dreams, one is my ex husband and his family just dogging me, telling me what a terrible person I am.
The ones where he tells me everything I'm doing wrong and just making me crazy. Gaslighting I think it's called. He did that to me for years.
The dreams where everyone hates me and lets me know exactly why, my best friends, family my current absolutely sweet and kind boyfriend. And my freaky, flying into the same freaky town I've built in my head.

I'm exhausted, REM sheep is for dreaming, I get that, but it's also for resting and recouping isn't it?

And by sheep I mean sleep

 

[blackemerald1]

Well...self diagnosis is a really dodgy thing to do to yourself.

And..you sound like you are quite distressed. I think it might be worthwhile making an appointment with your physician to see why you are having these symptoms and ask for a referral to a therapist.

You don't have to live like this.

 

[Justmehere]

Welcome to the forums!

What’s holding you back from getting a diagnosis and treatment?

 

[Carrietired]

This has just become really ugly since my mother passed away in May.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hi @Carrietired - I am so sorry your mother has just passed away. Grief is a long process and I know there are no words to console you in your bereavement.

From your initial posts it appears your ex husband was very abusive towards you. Many forum members here have suffered abuse from partners, family and other relationships so you are not alone.

Have you thought about seeing your physician about your depression and anger? Asking for help from your physician in your real world is important if you are feeling overwhelmed. It is not embarrassing or shameful to seek professional advice particularly if you are feeling alone.

If you have a history of trauma from your ex partner and now you are suffering from the passing of your mother, I have no doubt you are in a lot of pain.

I am thinking of you Carrie wherever you are.
Take care,