Sufferer Hello, Rape, Abuse Survivor, And Cannot Seem To Get Any Help

[Mrs. Miri Brown]

Hello, I am soon to be Mrs. Miri Brown, and I have a wide varity of pyscological problems, ranging from ocd, attachment disorders, and of course ptsd.

I have survived a horrible childhood of pyscological abuse from both my parents whenever I have done anything less than perfect, my mother had also fed me to pedophiles and rapists from the age of four, and just a few years ago my father raped me as well, I have had two miscarriages through rape, and have been refered to as a slut in my highschool when I was fourteen because I looked pregnant, and when I tried to go to the police, they refused to believe me.

I still can't really handle being touched by my soon to be hubby, my therapist refuses to see me anymore for reasons I don't understand, my doctor refuses to give me any medications to ease some of the symptoms for it.

All I want is to have a stable relationship with my fiancee and have kids, is there any advice anyone can give me aside from getting a new doctor? I know I need one who will listen and help me treat the symptoms to some extent. And sorry if I have any spelling errors, I'm not very good at spelling.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi, I think you should get a new doctor and therapist. It is really important that you get proper help. My heart goes out to you. You are not alone. Welcome to the forum.

 

[Toria]

Hello soon-to-be Mrs Brown and welcome to the Forum. I agree with Gizmo, I think you need to look elsewhere for the support that you need. I'm not sure how easy it would be to change doctors where you are, but I certainly think it is worth a try.

A happy and settled relationship is a great thing to aim for!

 

[intothelight]

Hi Mrs. Miri Brown,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

There is a lot of information on this site that you may find helpful in using to cope with PTSD symptoms. The support on this site is also wonderful as you work towards healing.

Gizmo gave you some really good advice about getting a new therapist. Having a good therapist, using resources like this site, and a lot of hard work will help you to get better and achieve your goals.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Mrs. Miri Brown]

I can't afford a new therapist, I can barely afford a doctor's visit, it's like 100.00 per visit and he charges me everytime just to talk to him about medications. There's suppose to be a free clinic for therapy here (at least that's what they claim), but from what all I've seen and experianced, they don't seem to do anything but dope you up on some seriously addictive/harmful pills and say you're going to be fine without any real help. :/ So I'm really leery about going back to them.

I have chronic ptsd, and while I know I'm going to be on medication for a long time just to make my outburst of rage less... scary for others (I've been fired from two jobs for them.) I don't believe it will help to be walking around like a drooling zombie all the time and withdrawing when I need to get off or change medications.

I would love to get some therapy, and hopefully someone will move into town that isn't asking 500.00 for an evaluation alone and knows what they're talking about. And again, I know my doctor kinda.. well... blows in this instant, it's pretty sad when he's actually one of the more caring doctors in town too. I'm pretty much just trying to find a nearby town that has real doctors who will help me, but so far, it looks like my only other option is the bigger cities. :/ And they're expensive too.

So until I get better medication, therapy, and money, I'm gonna have to make do with some at home self therapy to kinda make everything easier on me for when I try for the work force again, and to make it easier on my hubby to be, he's been so supportive, even if he doesn't know what to do, and I want to do everything I can to not push him away.

If anyone can, I would love to hear some advice on what I can do to handle my rage outburst, which have been violent in the past, how to really encourage myself to go outside by myself to actually get something accomplished, and most importantly of all, how to express my problems to someone(say like hubby or a potential boss) without making them feel uncomfortable or making me sound like a pity case, but still get the point across that sometimes, I need to get away from people before something bad happens, and how to get myself being comfortable being touched by my fiancee in between three to six months.

And, thank you everyone, I actually feel a lot better just asking someone for advice again. :3

 

[MagiLisu]

Hello, I'm sorry to read about what you have been through. There is a lot of information and support here.

As far as self help goes, my therapist has mainly concentrated in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which helps you to change the way you think and feel about things.

This has helped me in the short term, but I still have a lot of deep down issues which need to be addressed so we are in the process of changing our approach.

I am unsure if CBT is available for self help but it may be worth having a look online or seeing if there any books available, although like I said it is mainly for the 'here and now' rather than dealing with deep seeded issues.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[ms spock]

Hello and Welcome to the Forum.