Jules Huffman
New Here
I get super high off of stress. I feel like my body produces a strong drug when under pressure.When it is in the moment the pressure does not feel as good, but for a while after I feel great. This with no more active triggers for stress it is becoming bothersome. I under to much stress depersonalize and black out. Under too little I have a feeling of pointlessness .
Fights with my husband I just wed and making big deals out of small deals at work again. I feel like a monster sometimes. I have looked for a release through BDSM I have had my share of people who treat me like shit welcomed in my life. I can not even make up a reason to start fights any more I just state I am having a hard time with life no longer reflecting the struggles. I feel I am young being 22 years old and the worst parts of my life are over.
I have a habit of punishing myself for what happened through eating to much ,fights etc. I feel like if it was not my fault through being inherently bad or broken a world in what happened just happens seems a harsh place to be. I think I will live with the thought that it could happen again looming over my head for a long time. I do not believe in god or am a spiritual person.
I would like to find other ways to cope with my past and my need for chaos and like hearing about others struggle that is like my own.
Fights with my husband I just wed and making big deals out of small deals at work again. I feel like a monster sometimes. I have looked for a release through BDSM I have had my share of people who treat me like shit welcomed in my life. I can not even make up a reason to start fights any more I just state I am having a hard time with life no longer reflecting the struggles. I feel I am young being 22 years old and the worst parts of my life are over.
I have a habit of punishing myself for what happened through eating to much ,fights etc. I feel like if it was not my fault through being inherently bad or broken a world in what happened just happens seems a harsh place to be. I think I will live with the thought that it could happen again looming over my head for a long time. I do not believe in god or am a spiritual person.
I would like to find other ways to cope with my past and my need for chaos and like hearing about others struggle that is like my own.
