Help :-) How To Cope With It Being So Unpredictable X

[thankyou]

I feel a lot of people can relate to the unpredictability surrounding PTSD.

For example - a good stretch of great days, or months of feeling normal. And then (BAM!) - hit with a flashback that sends you over the edge again, induces a panic attack and then leaves you shaken for days after. And feeling like you've fallen down and have to pick up again!

How do you cope with the unpredictability of this condition? I'm terrified of the next time I have a flashback or other sensation that induces a fear response in me (usually a panic attack!). Lately, I wake up and get a feeling of dread thinking, 'today I might have another flashback/panic attack'. Also, I'm terrified at work sometimes during the day, thinking 'any minute now, I'm going to be struck down/panic'.

How do you cope with the fear/thought that a symptom may strike you down at any minute? :-) it gets in the way of living life to the full, what with this fear hanging over me.

Had EMDR last year which worked a treat but after a slightly stressful period unrelated to the trauma, i'm finding symptoms are occurring again. Therapy starts again next week....

If anyone has any ideas, I'd really appreciate them :-)

 

[Friday]

Backup plans.

For me.... This means drugs & babysitting as a first level response when I get hit out of the blue, and then a few other levels that are specific to my own things.

I have other things set up in addition to my backup plans... Things that, in the normal course of events keep me from having to go to them. (How I stave off freak outs to begin with). Which I realize is irritatingly vague, but I don't know if they translate &/or are healthy for other people.

For example: If I have permission to freak out, I freak out more often. So I set up my life in a way where a freak out would either a) cause major damage, or b) be impetus for the people around me to tell me to suck it up, butter cup. I cope better with rough handling. This wouldn't be good advice for most people, so getting into the specifics of how I do that wouldn't be helpful.

So I have tiered responses.
- Normal course of business
- Feeling edgy
- Freaking out - Level 1 plans
- Seriously Freaking Out - Level 2 plans
- Off the reservation - Level 3 plans

 

[Emsy.77]

Hia I can feel for you. Especially with the bad weeks then have a few good weeks. I can't work it out myself!!! FridayJones mentioned about rough handling I personally at the moment don't respond to that. I would tell people to beep off........ I am only in early stages of CBT so I am new to the therapy thing. But something as obviously triggered your symptoms off. So try work out what it is and start from there. All the best :)

 

[KwanYingirl]

@thankyou
You've articulated my own experience. I usually say whack-I'm cut off at the knees. Then it's several days of depression-shit, this again?

What I am doing now is increasing my relaxation exercises so that when I do crap out it's not so hard to meditate and reach out for help.

I have not done EMDR yet, my T says I am too dissociative but I am making progress.

I am trying to radically accept my challenges, a DBT skill. I read articles about PTSD, I have found this group, it has helped me so much.

I am doing energy work. I guess I'm just trying to reprogram my brain to not go into freak out mode when the slightest flashback creeps in. As John Prine sings, it's a half an inch of water and you think you're gonna drown.

I have meds that help relieve my depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, even they don't work. There are days I have to be calm and quiet.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

The unpredictability is by far the worst thing for me. It prevents me from living life to the fullest in that I don't know if I will ever be able to have a job with a set schedule, etc. But, I don't fear the unpredictability. I know it is there, and I am learning to see the warning signs. Simply knowing it is a part of life and accepting that it WILL happen again takes a lot of the sting out of it. I don't fear it coming because I have accepted that it is simply a way of life (my way of life). I don't know if this helps at all, but this is how I deal with it, through acceptance.

 

[silkleaves]

Yeah, I don't have any back up plans really, because when the moment hits, I'm useless to put any plans into place. but yeah, I just know...it's going to happen, so I try to be prepared for when it does. That means...when I'm feeling good and productive, try to touch bases with people more, try to keep my home tidy, squirrel away money, take kiddo out to a movie and just do things with her.

Because it is like that...I generally will have about a good month or two...the longest really is about 6 months tops of feeling pretty okay, then I wake up one day in a hole. Or not even wake up to it...just going about my merry day and it'll just hit me. It's frustrating...even more frustrating really when months have passed and I'm doing well, I start getting used to it and feeling like..hey! I'm gonna be okay! That's the worst of it really...having so many good days that I almost forget that there's anything wrong with me, and then the reminder...NOPE you're still you.

When I was 18, I distinctly remember wishing for myself to never have a great day, to be in love, to enjoy life...because it's so much more painful to be on top of the world and fall off of it, than to teeter on the edge at all times. It's frustrating.

 

[AGNI]

Hi
Hello, this is my first post, I've been dealing with PTSD for about 7 years. I've come to rely on two things. When I'm in public, which is really hard for me, I try to always have a latte with me. Espresso and milk don't really blow my diet, and even if I drink it and am out for longer, for some reason it helps. In my home, I play video games. I've tried to simplify my coping responses and this is where I'm at. You aren't alone friend. I don't like the unexpected bad times either, especially when you have good days and are really trying. Just wanted to say you aren't alone. Take care.

 

[thankyou]

Everyone

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have received all your messages. I have read each one and have taken something positive away from each. This is a quick reply but plan to respond individually to each of you soon. Thank you so much. Just wanted to share something that worked.

Last night, I felt the strange, scary sensations and thought 'that's it - here we go again - a flashback and a panic attack to follow'. For some reason, I thought 'I'm just going to sit through this and see what happens'. Almost as an observer.

So....up went my anxiety and panic. Heart started racing. Went dizzy and lightheaded, breathing started to get shallow and faster but, rather than absolutely freaking out, I just lay there observing it all doing the breathing exercises. I said to myself 'this is just adrenalin....whoa, it's a bit uncomfortable....but it's just adrenalin'.

A few minutes later - like two or so - it stopped. I felt quite tired after it....but no major freak out and felt pretty normal 15 or so minutes later.

This taught me a lot. I think, for me, removing the fear from it all and simply observing the symptoms and understanding that it was just adrenalin helped a great deal. I'm almost looking forward to the next time it happens so I can do it again. Well....almost :-)

Today at work, I felt some anxiety and panic creeping in and said, 'ok - bring it on - but I'm staying where I am and will just observe it. It's only adrenalin'. This seemed to get rid ofthe anxiety and panic within seconds and nothing else happened.

This is a brand new approach for me and not tested a lot - but it really spoke volumes to me. I'll keep going with it and see what happens.

Again - thank you so much and I will soeak to you soon x