I'm the supporter of my girlfriend who is suffering from PTSD for the past 2 and a half years of our relationship. I'm a bit shaken at the moment, forgive me if this post seems a bit all over the place, but to make a long story short my girlfriend used to work with the US forest service for the past four years, during that time a series of events took place that left her with PTSD that has been progressing since.
Since I met her, she has been suffering what appears to be anxiety attacks (hyperventilating, cycling/spiraling thoughts, and flashbacks) often triggered by something I said, did, acted-like, etc. At first they were manageable, I was able to talk her down and comfort her when need be which seemed to help out sometimes, often times she felt that I was afraid during her attacks and that would escalate the attack into a nightmare (isolating herself in a room, crying uncontrollably). To my fault, I would also end up an emotional wreck in these nightmare scenarios (I didn't fully understand PTSD at the time) and made the situation even worse. Fortunately, things would die down and I would be able to comfort her once we both calmed down. The cause of her attacks were her flashbacks, people she dealt with in the past, she never once blamed me for anything.
That all changed after her recent job...
Last June when my girlfriend returned from her job (the same job she previously worked), she was protective of herself. I couldn't share much physical contact with her nor even be intimate, we felt like strangers for days but that eventually faded and we felt right at home again. Recently she's been tied into a legal nightmare, forcing her to replay a traumatic event over and over again that happened at her last job. Now her attacks have escalated to the point where I have become the sole cause of all of her stress and anxiety. When she has an attack, she is immediately seized in terror, when I try to comfort her and talk to her about it, she begins to accuse me of "throwing energy" at her or coming on "too strong". When I try to correct myself by being relaxed and calm it doesn't help, it just escalates into verbal lashing. I have been called every profanity in the book, been labeled as the sole cause of all of her problems, things have been thrown at me, been told that she hates me. The attack that took place just now was a result of me apologizing about something I said earlier because I felt I came off rude. We were laughing and enjoying our night, now I provoked her into throwing things and threatening to kill herself if I didn't take her to the airport that very second. I tried to let her cool down but after that I couldn't let her alone. She now isolated herself in a room and I'm afraid of what to do next. I'm terrified she'll leave me because of this blackout.
I just don't know what to do. I know this isn't her fault and I know the things she truly doesn't mean the things she says, I just don't know how I can prevent these attacks from happening in the first place. What am I doing wrong? I don't want to lose the only person I have left. I'm starting to fall apart while she desperately needs my support. She says I'm always making it worse, please, if any of you know what I can change please let me know. I apologize for the long-winded post.
Since I met her, she has been suffering what appears to be anxiety attacks (hyperventilating, cycling/spiraling thoughts, and flashbacks) often triggered by something I said, did, acted-like, etc. At first they were manageable, I was able to talk her down and comfort her when need be which seemed to help out sometimes, often times she felt that I was afraid during her attacks and that would escalate the attack into a nightmare (isolating herself in a room, crying uncontrollably). To my fault, I would also end up an emotional wreck in these nightmare scenarios (I didn't fully understand PTSD at the time) and made the situation even worse. Fortunately, things would die down and I would be able to comfort her once we both calmed down. The cause of her attacks were her flashbacks, people she dealt with in the past, she never once blamed me for anything.
That all changed after her recent job...
Last June when my girlfriend returned from her job (the same job she previously worked), she was protective of herself. I couldn't share much physical contact with her nor even be intimate, we felt like strangers for days but that eventually faded and we felt right at home again. Recently she's been tied into a legal nightmare, forcing her to replay a traumatic event over and over again that happened at her last job. Now her attacks have escalated to the point where I have become the sole cause of all of her stress and anxiety. When she has an attack, she is immediately seized in terror, when I try to comfort her and talk to her about it, she begins to accuse me of "throwing energy" at her or coming on "too strong". When I try to correct myself by being relaxed and calm it doesn't help, it just escalates into verbal lashing. I have been called every profanity in the book, been labeled as the sole cause of all of her problems, things have been thrown at me, been told that she hates me. The attack that took place just now was a result of me apologizing about something I said earlier because I felt I came off rude. We were laughing and enjoying our night, now I provoked her into throwing things and threatening to kill herself if I didn't take her to the airport that very second. I tried to let her cool down but after that I couldn't let her alone. She now isolated herself in a room and I'm afraid of what to do next. I'm terrified she'll leave me because of this blackout.
I just don't know what to do. I know this isn't her fault and I know the things she truly doesn't mean the things she says, I just don't know how I can prevent these attacks from happening in the first place. What am I doing wrong? I don't want to lose the only person I have left. I'm starting to fall apart while she desperately needs my support. She says I'm always making it worse, please, if any of you know what I can change please let me know. I apologize for the long-winded post.
