Help I Have A Court Date

[This Ends Now]

Anni,

Sorry I triggered you in my post. I know that more than a few people have been treated unjustly by our justice system. I am glad that you exposed yourself to your fear and had the courage to read through this. It sounds like you have made a strong and determined step towards your healing.

Midi,

I am doing my best to deal with the terms of probation. I start "risk reduction" class tomorrow and I am pretty worried about it. The problem is that passing the class is all about sitting down, shutting up, and pretending to pay attention. These are three serious weaknesses of mine as a student. For some reason I have always felt compelled to question/debate teachers who I believed to be incorrect in curriculum. The class also seems to be set at about a grade school DARE program level intellectually which is hard for me too. Its like I can feel my mind atrophy while sitting through that garbage.

Paloma,

Thanks! The community service part is the one thing I am looking forward to in this whole arrangement. So far I have sent in an application to volunteer at the local library... I put adult literacy, homework help, planning activities, fund raising, clerical, and customer service as my potential ways to help the library. The library is a good strategic choice since nobody can possibly yell at me and I will be around books and people who either are or want to be educated. My first choice would have been a battered woman's shelter (resume help, interview skills, teaching yoga, self esteem exercises) but Jo needs to get his service in too so the library was a good compromise. I was already trying to get some service projects off the ground with some of my friends so I will probably actually go way over the minimum requirement on that one.

I wish you all well,

Liz H.

 

[Hen]

My heart goes out to you, please let us know how you get on. I cannot believe that you would not be allowed meds in a prison. I am a probation officer in the UK and if we write a pre-sentence report mental and emotional health is always something we look at and if custody is the option then the prison will supply meds esp ones so needed as those for PTSD.

Sorry I can't offer a prayer as I am an athesist but all my thoughts are with you.

 

[Hen]

I should have said I am really interested to see how your probation officer works with you as I have not had someone on my caseload yet with PTSD and it would be good for me to hear your side. I know what it is like to have it but it would help to hear how I could manage someone with it better, does that make sense?

Anyway thinking of you, such an awful experience for you to go through in such an inflexible system.

 

[This Ends Now]

Hen,

I am so glad that someone from the side of the law is being compassionate and trying to understand the other side. Understanding is useful in pretty much any situation, and extra important when you have a potentially unstable person in your care/under your custody. It sounds like the UK system is much better then the one we have here in the states... or at least in the state of Georgia. At least on probation I will be able to take my medication provided I get a letter from my doctor (this will be the third letter) explaining what I am taking and why each prescription is medically necessary before I refill any prescription and before the next 30 days (my first check in date). So far my probation officer has seemed reasonable which is very nice. I think the terms are a little strict but Jo and I are trying to get the requirements out of the way as quickly as possible. It is also nice that they allowed us to turn in our driver's licenses 30 days apart (mine immediately and his next meeting) so we would at least have a month to get to the risk reduction class, get the community service done, and move since there is practically no public transportation here. It would be absurdly difficult if neither of us could drive right now.

I think we lucked out on the risk reduction class by getting a very good teacher. She is a registered nurse with psych and rehab experience. She is very well educated and presents accurate and up to date information rather than the typical propaganda. She was also very open to discussion and class participation. She was also very compassionate when I started to get triggered by one part of the lesson. She gave information about the difference in tollerance to alcohol on judgment vs motor skills. It made me think about all the pressure to drink (me and others) when I was working in strip clubs and the fact that I still have a good friend working in one. I understood the practice was evil before but this new information put me over the edge. She saw that I was visibly upset and let me speak to her about it for a few minutes after class and offered some encouraging words.

There was also extensive discussion on what the police are allowed to do here in rural Georgia and that scared me quite a bit. Apparently the police here are given free reign to do pretty much whatever they want and put innocent people in jail on a regular basis. For example, one girl who does not drive was on a boat (not driving but standing near the wheel) after two glasses of wine. The police accused her of drunk boating. She insisted that she had not been driving and they insisted that someone on the boat was going to jail. Since the person who had been steering the boat had a small child she volunteered to be the one to go to jail and would up with a conviction despite her innocense. Another person was a lawyer who had stopped by a club slightly after midnight. He was sober when he went in, had a couple drinks, walked out to his car to get something and found another guest yelling at him. The police were called and they asked if he had been drinking in the past 2 hours. He said yes. They then asked if he had been driving within the past three hours. He said yes... he had driven to the bar then consumed alcohol. He was arrested and convicted of a DUI even though he had not been driving under the influence. Basically in this area if the police want to take you to jail they can and will find a way. Another woman had a legal prescription in the pill bottle with the propper lable on it in her purse. She only had a few pills on her because she did not want to risk loosing the entire prescription. The police searched her, counted the pills, and sent her to jail for having the wrong number of pills in the bottle. It would have been even worse if she had been using a normal pill case since that could be written up as a fellony FOR EACH PILL. Needless to say I will not be driving or drinking or carrying my medication without carefully counting it and making sure it is in the correct bottle or doing anything that might look even slightly illegal for a long time. I plan on locking myself in our appartment and accepting it as a very nice jail cell and only taking a taxi to absolutely necessary locations for the next 12 months.

 

[Paloma]

That's good news about the instructor and the community service (sounds like you have a lot of skills and compassion). Not so good about the cops. I have had friends from Georgia and you just confirmed what they say. Any plans to move out of state when this is over???:wink:

 

[This Ends Now]

Paloma,

Yes, the second the we are allowed to by law we will be moving to the most liberal state we can find :-)

 

[clare]

TEN,

So happy it's over-and Welcome to Massachusetts! I didn't have the heart to say it earlier, but you basically get a parking ticket for pot here-we decriminalized it last year. If you'd like a quiter liberal state, Vt is nice-and no law in Springfield against public nudity!

:Hug_emoticon:clare

 

[catjudo]

I'm glad that you seem to be putting together a plan of action and getting started with things. I hope things continue to go smoothly.

I would definitely suggest moving out of any "bible belt" state as soon as you're legally able to do so. Georgia is definitely one of, if not the, worst one(s).

 

[This Ends Now]

Thanks for the suggestions everybody! I am for sure looking for a quieter more liberal state that has medical MJ. I one change is that I do not think I would feel ok smoking again without the direction of a doctor. My whole thing is that I want to get well and I was willing to try ANYTHING... and MJ is safer and more effective than most of the prescriptions I can get here.

Today in class they showed an impact video. Lots of shots of people who have had family members die of drunk drivers or people who are in prison for life for driving under the influence. Then we got into a circle and tried to answer self reflection questions off of little blue cards. My card said "after seeing the video how do you feel about some of the choices you have made?" I had to say that I could not answer at this time and asked to get some air since I was having chest pains and about to start crying. Again the instructor was very nice. She stepped outside with me and let me talk and have a good cry. She also went to lunch with me and listened to my life story and gave me her card to schedule some additional therapy. She is qualified, compassionate, and reasonably priced. I think I will be scheduling some sessions soon. She also took some class time to talk about the steps of grief and coping skills. I am very glad she did this.

 

[anni]

Oh My

Hi T.E.N,
Oh my please don't feel you have to apologise for the trigger. I'm going to run into many here, like all of us. It's just reassuring to even be able to identify with even one person's experiences, much less many. Thank you for sharing what you went through, actually. I did look at the post quite on purpose because I really very much want to be able to deal with subjects which are dreadful triggers-at least a little better. Knowing your outcome wasn't a huge disaster is going to make it easier to deal with this trigger next time, I think or at least will allow myself to hope. Could not even hope before.
Thanks again and take care!

 

[This Ends Now]

Anni,

I am glad you were able to look at one of your triggers and start to desensitize some of your fear! You are right that the outcome was not nearly as horrible as I had expected. I have even benefited from the alcohol and drugs class and found a very helpful therapist as a result (I had been looking but kept running into dead ends). This has motivated (or forced) me to look at some of the self destructive behaviors that have been holding me back in life. Jo and I have also found a wonderful and safe apartment to move into for the next year (hopefully we will be doing that this month). We have also learned to get away from some of the destructive people in our lives.

I was very shocked at how nice the judge was. He seemed like a real person who had legit concern for the community... not the sadistic monster I was expecting. He even expressed concern over the way the police had entered our home! He stated IN COURT and in front of the officer that he thought wrong had been done and rights had been violated. I was also shocked that officer not so friendly did not look anything like I remembered him. In my memory he looked much more like my uncle, but in court he just looked like a bored kid with a badge and a gun (my lawyer had to confirm that he was the guy). Even the probation officer (so far) has seemed much more reasonable than expected. He was just like "look guys, you stay out of trouble and we won't have a reason to visit you... nobody wants you to have to go to jail". I called him once (panicked) about our new potential apartment to see if it was approved and safe and he even laughed and said it was good we were being so vigilant.

I hope you are doing well and wish you the best in your healing!

Liz H.

 

[BethRSA]

Hi ThisEndsNow,

Sorry that I've only caught the tail end of this very difficult time of your life.

I'm so glad that you got off with probation and that most of the people (except the police) seemed to be compassionate and helpful. What a victory in yourself and PTSD through all of this!

I have been and will continue to pray for you.

:Hug_emoticon: Beth