Help - I have PTSD and my daughter has also been diagnosed

[Invisible Fire]

I have PTSD and recently found out my daughter was traumatized a few months ago and she has been diagnosed with PTSD. I feel I'm losing my mind. I tried to go for a walk and I thought I seen the person who hurt her. I confronted him. Either I was wrong or he lied about his name. I don't know how to be strong. I don't know how to continue. I don't know how to watch her pain. Any advise?

 

[Ronin]

I would try to get therapy for your daughter, and for yourself separately, to process & have support for everything you are going through... both as a mother, and a survivor.

And try my best to not confront him again while having him far from my family and daughter...

Because even the confrontations are traumatizing, and do not aid in healing from the hurt he committed.

Not even starting on how that kind of influence can steer people on the wrong path and hijack healing among else. That guy isn't worth that sacrifice.

Your daughter & you are worth your time. He, nah.

 

[Invisible Fire]

Thank you @Ronin I don’t know how to keep him far from us. We live in a small rural area. The park was my safe place. I wonder if in these situations if it is best to consider relocating

 

[Movingforward10]

I'm so sorry to hear that.
I can't imagine the feelings you feel about your child having what happened to her happen.
Of course you want to confront him (if it was him).
Does your daughter want to go through official channels to have what happened it was investigated? That might be the place to seek your closure and avoid any upset to you (and your daughter) from any repercussions of you confronting him?

Sounds like your daughter has a very loving, caring, understanding parent in you. And you will help her through this.
Do you have support for you and your feelings?
Sounds like you need an outlet for your feelings and to work through the connections between what happened to her and what your PTSD is rooted in?

You're not loosing our mind (whatever that is or means for everyone...) But just responding to a horrendous situation: your baby was hurt in the world that parents can't protect from as it's the world and this stuff happens.
That is big.
That is heavy.
But you and her will get through this.
Does she have a T?

 

[Ronin]

Relocating is one option...

Though have you also considered getting a restraining order(s) and reporting to local PD?

 

[Madmaninabox]

I would try to get therapy for your daughter, and for yourself separately, to process & have support for everything you are going through... both as a mother, and a survivor.

And try my best to not confront him again while having him far from my family and daughter...

ur daughter & you are worth your time. He, nah.

I really agree with everything @Ronin posted.

A lot of the time when someone we love is hurting are first thought is how do I fix this and how can I get revenge. Both can lead us to doing unhelpful but completely understandable things.

Have you thought of asking her what she needs? Because sometimes it's not what we think. We can assume things because of what we have been through but even if it is the same exact trauma (which it's probably not) people need different thangs to get them through.

My dad is not very supportive when it comes to my trauma. Don't get me wrong he loves me and would back me 100% if I was really in trouble. He just has literally told me I'm not allowed to talk about my trauma with or around him. He tells me if I'm having a bad day that others have it worse and it's not a big deal just get over it it happened when you were 6 just forget it and so on.

My dream would be for my dad to just sit with me. Say I'm sorry I don't completely understand what you are going through and I know I can't make the hurt go away. I just need to know one thing what can I do to make today a little bit better.
And keep asking keep saying things like if you need to talk I'm here to listen. I love you what do you need from me right now.

In your case it may be nice to say something like. I have PTSD to I understand on some level what your going through every though are storys are different and I can never fully understand. if you ever want to hear my story I will tell you. I just want you to know your not alone.

Also do things that don't have to do with this. Send funny memes, go to a coffee shop and talk about how cute dogs are or whatever is not triggering.

Just be there for her never let her doubt for a minute you love her. This won't go away quickly understand that this is probably something that will take time it's not a one time thing. It's continueing to be there.

Sorry this is so long there is honestly more I could say but this is a good start in my mind.

Also make sure you are talking care of your self. Both you being in therapy is a great start. Also try and find people you trust to go to when your having a bad day.

I hope this is a little helpful. It's just what I would have wanted but really the key message is ask her what she needs and do that.

 

[Invisible Fire]

@Movingforward10 thank you for your kind words. She has a appointment on the 19th with a trauma therapist. We went to the police and are waiting to here back from them. It’s been close to 2 weeks since we went to them. We talked about a restraining order but she doesn’t want to go to court where he is also. So not sure how to proceed forward at the moment.

 

[Movingforward10]

@Movingforward10 thank you for your kind words. She has a appointment on the 19th with a trauma therapist. We went to the police and are waiting to here back from them. It’s been close to 2 weeks since we went to them. We talked about a restraining order but she doesn’t want to go to court where he is also. So not sure how to proceed forward at the moment.

That's really positive she has a trauma therapist lined up.
I don't know where you are, but where I live (UK) the police here are taking a really really long time to investigate. I mean really.
Also here in UK, you can apply for restraining orders without attending the court building yourself and/or without notice to the person who it will be served on. Are things like that possible where you are?

 

[Invisible Fire]

Also here in UK, you can apply for restraining orders without attending the court building yourself and/or without notice to the person who it will be served on. Are things like that possible where you are?

We were told by victims assistance that she has to go to court to get a restraining order. But maybe we should check with someone else

 

[Movingforward10]

We were told by victims assistance that she has to go to court to get a restraining order. But maybe we should check with someone else

Maybe it depends on the relationship between your daughter and that person? In the family court you can apply for a non-molestation order without notice to the person and without needing to attend, but that is if the perpetrator is someone in a relationship or more family based. Maybe it is different in the criminal court if there is no or more limited relationship between your daughter and the person.