Help my husband help me - Supporters Welcome

[OceanEyes]

Can anyone share to help my husband support me through my challenges? We both want me to get better very much but I do feel a lot of pressure from him.
We tried to find something for me to do every morning to set me up for the day and we agreed on a shower at 6.45. I tried it for the first couple of days and then it felt very militant and unenjoyable. Now I feel like I’ve let him down. I’ve been very open about the struggles I’ve been facing but I just don’t feel like he understands. I really want the pressure off me to work, I don’t feel ready. New Zealand( where we live) has just entered a recession and I know things are going to get tighter financially. I just need him to take my mental health seriously and just listen instead of always trying to fix things.

 

[Sideways]

I just need him to take my mental health seriously and just listen instead of always trying to fix things.

Have you told him that?
Does he know how to do active listening? That might be a skill he could learn that might be helpful?

I tried it for the first couple of days and then it felt very militant and unenjoyable.

Unenjoyable is potentially an expected outcome from preeeetty much any significant change. Unenjoyable, uncomfortable, even distessing.

Militant though, is something else. There’s evidence to suggest that a good morning routine is helpful for good mental health. So, if you think about the things you want to get done in the morning, what would work? Maybe brainstorm some different ways of achieving the goal, and then trying them out.

 

[Adobe]

Can anyone share to help my husband support me through my challenges? We both want me to get better very much but I do feel a lot of pressure from him.
We tried to find something for me to do every morning to set me up for the day and we agreed on a shower at 6.45. I tried it for the first couple of days and then it felt very militant and unenjoyable. Now I feel like I’ve let him down. I’ve been very open about the struggles I’ve been facing but I just don’t feel like he understands. I really want the pressure off me to work, I don’t feel ready. New Zealand( where we live) has just entered a recession and I know things are going to get tighter financially. I just need him to take my mental health seriously and just listen instead of always trying to fix things.

Are you seeing a therapist? You do need support. Be sure to read the articles on this website. There is therapy sessions for a couple where one is suffering with PTSD/CPTSD. That might mean one session where the T can go over your diagnosis and what it means for you and how it will affect your marriage and what he can do and how to support you. Your diagnosis cannot become the focus of your marriage as it will suffer. Do the things that you did when you fell in love. Hug him. Kiss him, have other conversations about a variety of things. Keep life normal. We have expectations, at least I do that my husband will understand but many people are uncomfortable if and when we discuss emotions and try to make them understand. My husband knows but since he is more linear in his thinking he approaches me in a didactic way. No emotional support but practical. I get my support elsewhere and if I do get disregulated..not often now I just simply say I am off today. That way he is aware but takes pressure off of him to feel like he has to fix me. Only I can do that. Meet him with this with what you think he can handle and get support from T is my suggestion.

 

[Friday]

What kind of man is your husband?

always trying to fix things.

This? Is a partial answer, to be sure. He gives a f*ck. But beyond that?