Undiagnosed Help please. bullying & ocd & panic disorder

[odette]

It

No, I'm really sorry. You said you had OCD and I thought I'd read you had a therapist (which would make...

its okay, but I do have one..I was prescribed Prozac by a psychiatrist because I had panic disorder and ocd. I am afraid of not sleeping, as that makes anxiety worse...but I will watch tv I feel like crying..I was doing so well..I was finally feeling a bit better. I want to talk to family but don't want to burden them..I will see what I can do

 

[Suzetig]

You may struggle to sleep because your system is filled with adrenaline - which is partly what fuels the panic attack. That will drop down and then you'll be able to sleep. Wanting to cry, feeling restless and not sleeping are all normal physical reactions to stress, not anything to worry about. It's your body doing what it should - as unpleasant as that is.

Watching some to sounds like a good start to unwind.

 

[odette]

Now I feel like I can't speak or I'm going to stop speaking. I want to talk about anxiety and how I am feeling but I feel like I don't even want to speak. I'm so scared something bad is happening to me. I usually feel like talking now I don't but deep down I do

 

[odette]

new day same anxiety :notworthy:

 

[Changing4Best]

I have dealt with bullies in school, and now that I am in my mid-60s, I am dealing with them still again! I never dreamed that I would have to deal with them at this age in my life.

I finally spoke up and said that I was not in the mood to be bullied about a month ago. (Back in school, I beat the living daylights out of one of them and they stopped bullying me, but it took me a whole year of being bullied, before I finally had had enough and did it. I did it when one of them actually came onto my property and bullied me there in my own front yard (can you believe it?!?). Since I spoke up, the recent bully has backed off. However, it was someone who spoke up for me because I complained, that things happened and the bully was told if he didn't leave me alone, he would be banned from the Social Club we both belong to.

Now the bully is giving me the "silent treatment." That is better than being bullied, but is another bully tactic to make the target feel intimidated.

Anyway, for me, having a therapist has helped a lot. She told me, for instance, that one only has to say, "No." or "Stop it!" and that one should not try to explain it further. If you give an explanation as to why you are saying "No." you leave them an opening to come back at you with more BS. And that is usually what bullying is. It is composed of LIES.

Look back at all the things the bullies ever said to you. These things ALL are lies. Don't believe them. My bullies told me I was "ugly" for instance. I believed them, because no one had ever told me I was pretty. However, in looking at photos of myself from those days, (and I have asked others about this too) people say I was PRETTY.

So don't believe the lies. Bullies bully because they are jealous of you about something, or they have a low opinion of them self and need someone to boost that opinion of them self on to pick themselves up, so they pick on you to make themselves feel better than you. Or more important than you. Or something like that. But they are not. They are MEAN spirited people, who have nothing better to do than to make someone else's life a misery. Don't let them!

Believe in yourself. Think about your good qualities. Look at the nice things you do for others. Also, do things that you enjoy doing, try to take your mind off all this by that means.

 

[odette]

I have dealt with bullies in school, and now that I am in my mid-60s, I am dealing with them still...

Thanks for the encouraging words. I feel like their words are definitely true, but there's not point in caring at this point. I just want to never see them. I'd rather be thought of as dead. I am glad I spoke up against the bullies when I had to, even though I was scared. I'm glad they never saw me cry, but like I said...I'm more concerned about not existing to them. I wish I could erase myself from their memories. Or tbh I wish I could do that:meh:

 

[Changing4Best]

How long has it been since they last bullied you? (As time passes, you may learn to deal with what happened and your feelings may diminish a bit about what has happened to you concerning them).

I do understand how you feel. I probably wished something similar back then too!

 

[odette]

How long has it been since they last bullied you? (As time passes, you may learn to deal with what...

last year,Only one person out of the group posted a photo of me. The bullying has been going on ever since I started school..since elementary, then middle, then highschool..it stopped around junior year where we made "amends". I've been bullied my whole life which is why I fear I have developed ptsd from it.

 

[odette]

It is so deep rooted cause the things that I was made fun of are true. Literally, not in a low self esteem way but I'm actually fat, ugly and etc..that's what hurts most...knowing it is TRUE. I am fat and not attractive societally. Ugliest person in the world? Maybe not...but still

 

[Changing4Best]

They could choose to see the beautiful side of you. Our society sees being overweight as being not beautiful, but one can be overweight and feel beautiful. There is a lady who manages our building and I think of her as pretty, even though she is overweight by quite a bit. Did you know that in other cultures, some anyway, "fat is beautiful?" Some men like a full figured woman. Not everyone agrees with Hollywood's idea of beauty!

 

[odette]

They could choose to see the beautiful side of you. Our society sees being overweight as being not...

Thank you for putting things into perspective. I can't say I agree, but yes beauty is subjective. I guess me thinking fat isn't..is internalized from the bullying.

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, I used to be skinny as a kid, I mean, like underweight. Later on in life I gained too much weight, so I had to lose some weight, due to health reasons. My Dr. told me that I could get Diabetes otherwise, and my husband had died from complications from it, so I was scared. I joined Overeaters Anonymous (OA) and I have been able to maintain a healthy weight now, according to my Dr. So there are things that can help you to lose weight, if you want to. OA has online meetings even. It has been a really positive experience for me in so many ways, and I have gotten help through it too, concerning my most recent bullying episode. That is because you get a lot of support in OA.