Help... Trying To Prevent Meltdown

[Emma13]

I am in the middle of trying to prevent myself from having a complete meltdown. I don't know if I've been triggered or not. Usually things my mother says doesn't bother me, but lately I've been having a hard time dealing with stuff since I triggered February 24th and the 28th. She made a comment about the fact that I haven't graduated college yet. Normally it wouldn't bother me, but tonight I barely made it upstairs before I started freaking out. Freaking out= anxiety, lots of emotions, and negative thoughts. I haven't thought about self harming for months, but now I am seriously contemplating it. The only knives I have in the house are the knives I use to prep food with and three craft knives. I've only thought about using them once and I talked myself out of it, but I don't know if I can in the next few days.

 

[nomedic1]

Talk to us Emma we can help.

 

[Emma13]

I hate it so much. I feel like I am at the edge of a huge cliff and each snide or angry comment just pushes me that much closer. I wish she would leave me alone. I should be use to the comments she makes cause she's done it since I was in fourth grade. The worst comment(s) she has made lately is that she has been comparing me to my abuser and she knows what he did to me. She's known for two years now.

 

[nomedic1]

We are here to support you we can never know how you felt emotionally but we can try and understand. You need to ground yourself find a place of peace.

 

[Emma13]

I'm doing that right now. Listening to heavy music and reading. It usually works.

 

[nomedic1]

Good and then find a way to release, talk about your issues if you can keeping them bottled up inside just adds to the problem. Good luck Emma.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Emma!I am sorry you are having a rough time. Do you have a therapist or counselor you can talk to when you are feeling like this? If not and you feel you really want someone to ground you now. You can call a hotline. I have used them already three times they can help you ground to if you are in a real dark place and can't do it yourself.

Do you have any grounding tools? If not here are some of my tools. Ripping up a phone book. Spelling your name backwards and forwards in your mind until you distract yourself or fall asleep. Go for a walk and notice as many things as you can naming them in your mind. Meditation is good and you can look it up on you tube. They have sleep, positive and relaxation meditations by the truck loads. Find a pet store that adopts cats. They sometimes let you play with them. Could you copy some of the stuff about PTSD out and give it to your Mom. Could be an ice breaker to open a healthy conversation of what you are struggling with. The cup analogy is the best.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Emma I missed the last couple of posts while doing my post. Good for you using your tools to ground yourself!

 

[Emma13]

So update...this morning I saw someone with a counseling background. She helped me deal with last night. After that I did some good things (delivering food to some people) to keep my mind off things. Just got home half an hour ago and my dad immediately started asking me questions. So I went upstairs and printed out lots of pages about everything that I am dealing with. I have yet to give them the articles, but I have them in a folder sitting on the coffee table.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Well Done Emma 13. Great job in getting help with self care. I will be listening to hear how it goes with the articles. I hope it helps!

Tb

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Emma,

Somehow I missed this post! It looks like people got you on the right track. It's difficult when you first tackle it, but you will learn to navigate yourself around your parents.

Look forward to hearing how things work out! Keep up the good work.

 

[healthbuilder]

Hello Emma13,
Thinking about negative thoughts is a kind of self harming. Positive attitude is critically important in life. It is kind of a self help for a healthy life.