Help

[Bianca23]

My boyfriend is going through a PTSD cycle right now. He served 2 tours. He is Super sluggish, slurring his words, very paranoid, and being secretive. Are these normal symptoms of PTSD? Hes also an addict in recovery so I'm having a hard time telling the difference. Also if it is only PTSD what can I do to help him get better? How long do these cycles usually last? Hes been like this for about 4 days now. We are expecting a baby in July and I dont want this to ruin our family. Please help.

 

[desiderata310]

Yeah.. Super sluggish and slurring words doesn't tend to be specifically PTSD. I am going to go with alcohol or drugs of some sort.
I could be wrong but... yeah.
Now it's not uncommon for PTSD to USE alcohol and drugs for the purpose of numbing but that's not a good way of dealing with it.

So here's the thing. He's gonna have to get his shit together. you in the meanwhile are about to have a family that you have to protect. The REAL question is whether he wants to be a part of it.
Bianca you need to stand up NOW and deal with it and since you're 8 months pregnant that's scary as shit but it's easier NOW than when the baby is out in the world and he can TOUCH it while he's high.

 

[Casey_03]

I'd say that's definitely alcohol abuse, not PTSD. I say that as someone who has abused alcohol herself to deal with PTSD. It could also be drugs, depends on what his drug of choice was before. I also think you should figure out a way to protect the baby from your boyfriend's problems -- either tell him to stay away till he gets his shit together, or at the very least don't let him live with you and the baby until he's trying to get help. If he really is abusing something, and to me it certainly sounds like he is, that's incredibly dangerous for a newborn baby.

 

[Friday]

My speech tends to get very affected when I'm doing badly. Completely sober. My words getting all jumbled / slurred / trailing off / stuttering / mixed up / spoken without turning my head (even if I'm face down in a pillow) / whispered / growled / muttered / etc. Is so hallmark of my not doing well that my family pretty much knows to leave me alone once I lose the ability to articulate what I'm intending or attempting to say. They don't know I have PTSD, most of them blame migraines or my simply being an asshole, but they do know once I stop speaking clearly to leave me be. By the time my speech is affected about the only thing I'm going to be doing for awhile is laying face down somewhere dark not killing myself.

As far as how long doing badly lasts for? Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. It depends on what caused it, and how badly Im doing.

PTSD doesn't have to "ruin" your family... But if he's got PTSD? It's going to affect your family.
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.86476/

 

[Crow]

When I'm having a particularly gnarly attack, my words slur and my vocabulary disappears. Only thing that has helped me is somatic psychotherapy with a trauma specialist. Even if it's alcohol related, the trauma specialist will be the best choice. Maybe use the baby as a reason for him to get help?

 

[Deleted member 31998]

^^This. PTSD or not, the arrival of your baby is of utmost importance, which also includes safety. Having this kind of issue does result in some rather peculiar behaviour BUT he needs to consider the things that will make him happy, such as the family he's about to have. If he can't try to make it work for the sake of you and the baby, theres other things he must figure out for himself. You can only be a victim for so long until you make the choice to try and heal and move forward or to bite the dust. It is on him now.

Take care,
Jasmine

 

[Bianca23]

My speech tends to get very affected when I'm doing badly. Completely sober. My words getting all j...

Thank you. Thats exactly whats happening to him. He gets mad at himself because he stumbles over words and gets embarrassed. I usually lately have to finish his sentences because he gets so frustrated. I try to push the sleep and relax thing but he always wants to keep busy which is understandable. Thank you for your reply. It is nice to know that the speech thing could definitely be just a ptsd symptom.

 

[Bianca23]

Thank you everyone. Tonight I'll be having him do a drug test, i dont think he is drinking. And we will be discussing therapy and trying to figure out what he is willing to do. I know my first priority is my son and I'll do whatever to protect him. I definitely think a trauma specialist is a good idea. Praying hes willing.

 

[Riot]

My speech tends to get very affected when I'm doing badly. Completely sober. My words getting all jumbled / slurred / trailing off...

@FridayJones, same here.

 

[Friday]

he always wants to keep busy which is understandable

Honestly the best thing for me when I'm like this is to go for a run, work out on the heavy bag, do some sparring, total mind shut off sex, a 5mi swim... Anything to help bleed stress & burn off all the chemicals in my bloodstream. It's usually my go to & doing a face plant is held in reserve for last. But I've been sick & injured lately, so my mind skipped over the healthier alternative to "when nothing else works" function.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Super sluggish and slurring words doesn't tend to be specifically PTSD.

I agree. I have PTSD and I am also a clean addict. The only time i was slurrying my words was when i was high or drunk...or on new meds.

I do have physical symptoms connected with my mental state but the worst of them is severe exhaustion but i dont think ive slurred my speech with it.

 

[Powder]

I would assume that he's got the full good/bad stress cups going on. Is this his first baby?

Fathers can feel extremely paranoid that something will happen, medically, and they won't understand because they are a man and don't know enough about female and reproductive biology.

Please have a plan in place for him, like his mom to be there if she's supportive, and maybe aromatherapy to sniff when he feels like he's going crazy during labor. Help him feel more in control and informed, keep it simple.

Set some parameters. Don't let him stay the night in the hospital. Make him take breaks during labor and go eat and take a walk, etc.

If this is your 1st baby, labor can take a long time. My 1st was 28 hours of active (aka painful in the hospital) labor. It was exhausting on both of us. I wish I had known and had told him that it's fine for him to go home, take a shower, etc.