Here In Hopes Of Finding Help For Myself

[Robert Ledbetter]

My wife suggested that I try to find a forum to see if that would help me in anyway. After months of debating with myself I found myself here tonight. I'm a US Army vet. served in Iraq in 04-05 as in Infantryman. I was diagnosed with PTSD two years later while still in the Army and on recruiting duty. By the time I admitted that I had a problem I had ruined my marriage and my military career wasn't far behind. I am now being treated at the VA but it seems like all they are doing is pushing meds at me and keep asking the same blanket questions every time I go there. And to top it all off I only see the Doc. every 3 months and a Nurse Practitioner once a month. Currently I'm on Abilify 10mg once a day. It keeps me mellow, but too mellow and lower doses didn't work. I've been on several different meds over the years. Some worked for a while and then I guess I built up a tolerance to them, really not sure, but they quit working. I have never really talked about what happened while in Iraq. Everytime someone asks me about it I give a quick generic statement about what happened or what it was like over there and then try to change the subject. Then for days afterwards I find myself fighting depression for days to weeks afterwards. It seems like all I do anymore is work and hide at home. I'm tired of it and I want to be able to live somewhat of a normal life. I'm open to suggestions.

 

[Lee C]

Welcome mate
You have found the right place and your wife made a good call.( Of course you dont have to tell her that as all partners are wrong all of the time(y))
Others will be on as we have various time zones.

 

[Jimmy1]

Welcome Robert.

Your problem is common among the veteran community. They push some medication towards you with a little bit of therapy and then they are seen as doing their bit to help.
Unfortunately it's up to us as individuals to find the right help for ourselves. I too have been on a million and one medications, and they can change from year to year depending on what is around. If I find my body has built up a tolerance, I ask around on this forum and other places then suggest a change to my psych. The problem we all face is that medications act differently for everyone. I was prescribed Lyrica for pain relief, but it did no good; however, it is an awesome mood stabiliser.

I have never really talked about what happened while in Iraq. Everytime someone asks me about it I give a quick generic statement about what happened or what it was like over there and then try to change the subject. Then for days afterwards I find myself fighting depression for days to weeks afterwards. It seems like all I do anymore is work and hide at home.

This is the root of the problem for a lot of veterans too. They don't want to revisit their traumas which ends up costing them. I personally lost nearly all my friends, pushed my wife away and was also booted from the defence force.

You see, we keep all our trauma's locked down inside and covering them is a thin layer like a scab on a sore.
So every time you make a generic statement or are reminded of your traumas, it's like tearing the scab off and it weeps for a few days until it seals over.
You have to go to therapy and deal with the issues mate. You will always have PTSD and always have symptoms related to PTSD, but they don't have to ruin your life. You need to rip that scab off and deal with the infection within. That way whenever your reminded it will only be a little ache.

There is no quick fix and no permanent fix, but it does get better mate, it really does.

The guys on this forum have helped me out a heap of times when I have needed opinions or advice, they have even given advice when I haven't asked.

Just go with the flow and read through the articles and posts mate.

Cheers

Jimmy

 

[abnvet]

Welcome to the site

 

[reddevil1111]

Jimmy has it right...good advice there. And Welcome!

 

[tho9900]

been there done that first of all with the psych appts and meds etc... you gotta fight... wanna give you a rly good phone number: 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, if it ever gets bad or if u just need to talk so someone who understands give em a call... they were my lifeline for a bit... if you don't wanna make it up close and personal (they rly do rock btw) you can go to http://www.veteranscrisisline.net/ and chat online with them...Join a service organization.. DAV, American Legion etc... they can help you tons..

Your wife is a real trooper if she got you here... you will find the few people you identify with and form a support group if you stick around.. I am in private msg with about 5 other medics at present.. we got our own thing going on... you'll prolly find more luck out on the open forums being infantry as a lot of you were...

Good luck to you bro...no man left behind... it's a motto the 7th Cav used and I personally believe in...

Lt Col Hal Moore said it well... "there is always one more thing you can do to increase your odds of success"

Coming here was one of them for me..

Welcome aboard bro, hope you stick it through...

 

[Zipperhead]

Morning Rob

 

[Robert Ledbetter]

Morning zipper

 

[Anglesachse]

Welcome to our wonderful if slightly dysfunctional family.