Relationship He's Finally Communicating

[Mariposa Verde]

@Serendipity424 You are most welcome. I was surprised how negative the replies to your original post were so I thought that it might be good to look at a different perspective. I understand about having emotional days. They will pass, I promise. WhisperingUnicorn said in one of her posts that her now husband shut her out when they were friends and it took them years to get where they are today. But one of the things she said that resonated with me was: "if he has proven his heart to you then trust that. If he comes back, it is meant to be, and if he doesn't you will heal." I might have changed a word or two but her words resonated with me so I hope they resonate with you too. Xoxo

 

[Serendipity424]

@Mariposa Verde I have always been such a positive person and I would do anything to help him in anyway I can. I hope what he said was true, it really felt true and if it wasn't I will heal. It does not make it easy. I am going to try to keep myself busy and just send him a text every week or so. It does not help when I think he has block me. He really has no family and few friends, he did say people do not generally like him and I couldn't understand why because his soul is so beautiful, he had even given me goosebumps and he said I had did the same, if you could only read what was exchanged between us, I have felt nothing more beautiful. The way he interacted with his kids made me fall even more for him..... one of his last texts- I

"baby, I'm not going to hurt you in any way. At all. you are all I want. I'm scared of the same things you are, but I just ignore myself: I have to, otherwise I will overthink everything. I am not going to let my past ruin what could be an amazing future with you"

In one text he said I was the answer to his prayers.... told me he feels I am worth and arguments or disagreements... You, you are worth everything to me.

This is a couple of thousands, can someone really say all these things and not mean any of it?

I appreciate all the kind words, you have been so helpful to me.

This made me a little teary eyed:
"if he has proven his heart to you then trust that. If he comes back, it is meant to be, and if he doesn't you will heal."

Thank you for just being there @Mariposa Verde

 

[Mariposa Verde]

You're most welcome! We are here to support each other.
Those texts are beautiful and I agree, I think that when someone with PTSD says words like that they are meaningful and thruthful. My friend told me once that he doesn't have many friends and people don't like him very much and I also don't understand why. He has giving so much to his country and suddenly people walk away from him just because he struggles with a disorder he got because of his selfless work? I don't get that and just like you, I am not walking away. Hang in there and do not hesitate to reach out when you need to talk

 

[Serendipity424]

@Mariposa Verde That was just a little bit of what he has said to me and not even the best of it!! In one he said he was lucky to have amazing kids and an amazing woman in his life, these are all recent. Even if I did say something that pushed him away, hopefully he only knows I was worried. I know what he is going through cannot be controlled. I also agree, how selfless and beautiful they are, he really is amazing, I know it, I feel it in my heart. Same to you @Mariposa Verde , please reach out if you need someone to talk to. I hope we can help each other, I really needed someone that understands and you really do. I am not going to walk away either, I am just scared he will not come back. I would love to keep in touch and I can't wait until you hear something from you special guy :)

 

[Sighs]

I don't mean to rain on your parade ladies but please think about what you are saying. You are saying that you will do "anything" for these men. Why? Because they wrote you some romantic words?

I moved interstate for my veteran. I left my job, my house, my parents, my friends, my two dogs, my horse and worst of all - my then 16 year old daughter. And when he's good he's great. And when his PTSD rears its head he's... mmm. And I never know which version of him I am going home to.

Please think about the reality of the situation and the reality of these men and their PTSD. @Serendipity424 - this man has been married twice. Why did those marriages fail? He has pushed everyone else who loved him away. How? And within a very short space of time he has ceased all contact. Try to take off the rose coloured glasses and look hard at the situation.

 

[Serendipity424]

@Mariposa Verde he texted me...it want perfect but he said something. He said he missed talking to me but couldn't do it right now. He said I over reacted to his phone dying...all I said when his phone died was I was worried. He reaponded.... it's a start???

 

[Mariposa Verde]

@Serendipity424 I am happy he texted you! That is a start! One thing I have learned is that when my friend is triggered, he sees little messages as over-reaction or pressure. Try to be as calmed as possible and try not to show over-worry. As you can see in many threads here, showing over-worrying is a big relationship killer. Try to keep it light and don't bring anything about the relationship for now.
I see this as a positive sign. Remember that time and space are important. At the beginning of this shut out, I only sent one text a week. Last week he said one text a day makes him smile and he appreciates it, so I believe there is hope for you too. Stay positive and don't let this consume you. I know it is hard but he told you he misses you so just give him time and space to sort himself out :-)