General He's Wearing His Dog Tags Again?

[godhelpusoneandall]

Okay, so lets go back. Did this start like one morning he just woke up and did this or was it gradual. When did you first notice it? What happened to you or him or in the world immediately before it started. Is he acting calm and just dressing up? Do you know why he thought he needed comforting? Rewind the last few days...keep backing up in your mind. Kat

 

[CCurry]

Hi Kat,

So many questions, haha. Something triggered his ptsd, either the anniversary of his best friends death in combat, September 11th attack (lost a good friend in the Pentagon), over stressed with his 2 jobs. He was delusional but I should really state that David is not angry which is a typical combat ptsd symptom he's just extremely sad.

The dog tags came first, a week later his new haircut, then his uniforms have found their way out of our closet, etc. He is calm, very calm (but sad). He's always been comforted by anything military. We subscribe to the military channel, I didn't know there was even such a thing.

In answer to Pam's post about putting his military stuff out and around the house all I can say is that our house is a military shrine, medals, pictures, swords, an American Flag that has a few bullet holes (this takes up much of the wall).

 

[godhelpusoneandall]

What is he doing now? Work wise, I mean? Yes, lots of questions. Questions are how we find answers. I feel a little better now that you have said he is sad, not mad. Is his hair blondish in color? Kat

 

[Pam]

When my C saw the books and videos I have on military stuff, his eyes nearly popped out of his head. So we exchanged books and videos for a while. I read his stuff ("Catch 22" is the BEST book!) and he read mine (Civil War set and a huge book on war planes). We have returned the books to each other, equally dog-eared. I still have Rick Beyer's "The Greatest War Stories Never Told". It's a little book but a good one. Somehow, the CD's have all ended up at my house while the VHS tapes are at his house. We must straighten that out one of these days. We also watch the Military Channel together (have to, because I can't touch the remote). However, I have learned lots of stuff. Like what are Brass Monkeys:rolleyes:.

Anyway, I know and have experienced your feelings of worry, even to the point of dreaming I heard a gun shot and that C had pulled the trigger on himself. I woke up in a drenching sweat. It was during one of C's "locked in his house" episodes. It has gotten a bit easier over the last 5 years but as you know, that is a relative statement. Regular couples still can't figure out what we see in each other or how we cope with this ptsd thing. But hey, I know what brass monkeys are and they don't. I think.

 

[ISupportHer]

Please Be Careful

I feel somewhat compelled to add my "sense" of worry. It is hard sometimes to get a really accurate feel for what others are experiencing just by reading posts. In this case, I have to tell you that I am worried. I don't want to come across at that robot on the old show "Lost in Space" that, in every episode, suddenly starts flailing it's arms and spouting "Danger Will Robinson!" (Geez, should have checked your age before referring to an old TV show, LOL)

But,

Seriously, I hope you can monitor this closely and have a resource to help you filter the observations. Please make sure you have a safety plan. This whole "picture" I get of him seemingly preparing for battle worries me. Hope I am off base!

 

[CCurry]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for kind support, he still hasn't come home from work, it's Saturday morning over here he still isn't home. I'm really getting annoyed by all of this sh##. Isupporther....thanks and yes you should have checked my age, no memory of "Lost in Space" show..lol. But I get you!

Kat you asked if his hair is "blondish" in colour, no its dark brown. Wondered why you asked though. Could it be possible you know this crazy man...lol?

I can confide in some close friends but its really hard for me to tell them everything because they really won't understand (as I'm sure you guys can relate) and as well once David is better I don't want them to think negatively of him. They all love him, he's a good guy BUT they have been my friends for years and they are worried for my own safety and the kids first.

Sigh!!
Carmela

 

[godhelpusoneandall]

No, I don't know him, but sometimes I get pictures of people ...flashes...the person I see isn't him, but I will tell you what he looks like. Very tall and solidly built. Deep set eyes, strong jaw, reddish blonde/brown hair that is shave very short on the sides and just a little longer on the top. Blue dress uniform. Red braid on it. Carrying hat in hand. He looks like he has true Germanic or Swiss genes. His face is similiar to Brock Lesner, if you know who that is, but more refined. He seems like a gentle person. Do you know anyone who looks like him?

Kat

 

[CCurry]

Hi,

Kat- let me see to some extent you are right, he's over 6 ft has a solid muscular frame, huge arms that would scare any predator. Dark brown hair, strong jaw, handsome man.

Sometimes on these posts it's hard to get an accurate picture of exactly what's going on, so I'm going to do my best because I need some input if you think I'm at risk. The following is a list of what has been happening:

1. On Thursday afternoon he was on standby to fly to Montreal for a work project. He called me at 3pm saying that he was going. He'd be staying one night coming back Friday.
2. He called on Friday and told me he's flight will be arriving late and he'd be home around 1 to 2am.
3. He calls again around 1am and tells me that there was a mechanical problem with the plane and therefore they would have to stay over one more night. He says he'd be home Saturday around 11am.
4. On Saturday (today) he is still not home by 1pm so I start calling the airline to find out if he made the flight. They told me that they did not have him on ANY flights and when I asked about the mechanical issue the night before they told me that all of their flights went out the night before. Hmmm.
5. He comes home 1/2 hour later and I ask him to see his boarding pass or any proof of his flight. He cannot provide me with it, says he threw it away.
6. Finally after playing detective he fesses up. He did not go to Montreal afterall. He tells me that he's been spiraling out of control, hallucinations, disassociations, etc. and therefore he was not sure if he would be a threat to me or the kids. He says he's 98 percent sure that we are fine but what about the 2 percent, he's afraid of what he might do if he gets out of control.
7. He tells me that on Thursday he closed his office door because he was having a hallucination and when he snapped out of it, there was a pair of scissors sticking into the drywall. He doesn't remember doing that.
8. Today he called that Mental Health facility where he was originally diagnosed but it's Saturday and there's no one there at the moment that can help him work through this. He just wants to explain what he's going through and see if they think he might be a threat.

I cannot imagine this sweet man, who has always treated me like a lady doing anything to hurt me or the kids but after hearing this I don't know what to think.

Are there any war vets that can provide some of their insight.

Carmela

 

[Deleted member 541]

I think that you have every right to be nervous, and worried about you and the children......

I would also be worried about the lying. Ok, so he is unstable, I understand this, but to lie about his whereabouts????? Doesn't sound good. He could have just told you how he felt, and what he was planning on doing. The lying just doesn't add up here....It the mystery involved, the planning, the lying.....All too mysterious.....

The scissor incident, that is just plain scary. He is having blackouts, and not knowing what he is doing. No telling what he is capable of if he has another one.

I know that you probably don't want to hear this, and probably don't have a clue as to what or how to do this, but, personally, I think he needs to be hospitalized, where they can get him under control again. Through therapy, meds or whatever else it would take at this point. He is out of control and he can't do this on his own. At this point he needs professional help....

 

[Cate]

Hello CCurry.

I am a Canadian police officer and I have been diagnosed with PTSD by a retired military doctor who specializes in this. I have been going to the OSI Clinic (Operational Stress Incident Clinic) which treats all veterans with PTSD. There is no cost involved because my doctor is paid by the DVA.

If you can encourage him to do this, have your partner go to one of the OSI Clinics for a diagnosis. The clinics are in Vancouver, Edmonton, Ottawa and I think Halifax (could be wrong about that one). I cannot believe how much I have been helped by this clinic and by my doctor.

It can't hurt for your partner to go, it can only help.

Hang in there.

:occasion:
Cate

 

[CCurry]

Hi,

Shecat, I'm right with you about the lying...I hate that but he explained that he felt totally ashamed that he was feeling like he could snap suddently and needed to be alone. Still, it really bothers me that he was telling me what he was doing in Montreal when he really wasn't there.

Cate- thanks for the tips of where to go, I'll be googling it right after I type this post. Maybe there is a clinic in Toronto he could get to next week. In the meantime he was diagnosed at another clinic and he'll be calling them on Tuesday as they have all his history.

He seems calm now (okay truth is he's sleeping). We may be meeting my friends tonight who know quite a bit and are concerned for me. I know that he'll be very open and direct with them, its just his nature. Well, it's usually his nature except for the uncalled for lie he just told me.

Aside from him getting help, I think I really need it too. I am a mess, I'm so on edge right now.

Carmela

 

[godhelpusoneandall]

Carmela, He may not have told you the truth because well, he may not know exactly what was happening to him. He may have lost time...in and out...that happens sometimes. He may be terrified and made up the story to cover. Not defending untruths, but that's what happens sometimes.

As far at the man I see, it may not be him, it may be someone he knows.

I appreciated you giving details. What I would like to know is when did the "change" in behavior start.

I think he was wise to remove himself from you and the children.

I really wish Anthony or other combat vets would weigh in on this. They seem strangely silent, don't you think?

Kat