General He's Wearing His Dog Tags Again?

[pandora]

I just read this..are you close to hamilton or toronto..there is a mood disorders clinic in hamilton. There is also Homewood..near oshawa and they have an in patient ptsd treatment program. I hope things have settled down and you get some answers and treatments in place tomorrow. Good luck to you and your family.

 

[Pam]

There is an outside chance that he will not go to the facility he has mentioned on Tuesday. Or he will say that he is there when he really isn't. Is there a way that you can verify that he has arrived there on Tuesday? He may also back down about going. If he says that he does not need to go there Tuesday, then what will be your plan in response?

 

[CCurry]

Hi there,

Pam- he is very anxious to get help, he can't stand how is feeling/behaving so I have to trust that he is being honest.

Pandora, we do live in Toronto and actually Homewood was where he stayed for one month originally and he was officially diagnosed there. He'll be calling them tomorrow morning and he's sure that they will OR one of their affiliated Toronto clinics will do the initial assessment.

He was just barely hanging on today, after my parents home we went to his parents because they wanted to chat with him and really hear from him what's happening. We just got home a little while ago but he's gone again-he's had a full day of putting on an act like he's okay and at the moment he feels agitated, anxious and has a strong need to get away from any human as he's afraid of hurting someone. Just me sitting in the car with him caused him great distress.

BTW-SheCat I asked him if was true that just realizing that he will be getting help soon has had a spike in his symptoms. He said no and in fact he's anxious to get help. So that's good news but he did agree with what is going through his head while I'm making frantic phone calls to him.

Hopefully tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter.

Carmela

 

[Deleted member 541]

Carmela,

Here's to a good day today:occasion: and with the hope that he gets the help that he needs and thing quiet down to a tolerable level for everyone.......He will need a ton of support and yet the space that he needs to do this......It may be a roller coaster for awhile, but things will eventually get better......

Please give him my best.......And remind him that he can do this, and there are a whole bunch of people pulling for him...

Take care of yourself too....

 

[ISupportHer]

Support from me too!

Hope all goes well and he follows through. I have had your family in my thoughts since Sunday.

:Hug_emoticon:

 

[CCurry]

Thanks guys, I'll write another post when I know about what's happening with this assessment.

I can't wait until things get rolling. My only hope is that they will expedite things once they hear from him that he is a potential public/family threat. I cannot imagine that they will delay anything.

Carmela

 

[CCurry]

Wow, this is frustrating!!

I just spoke with David, he has an appointment with the PTSD phychiatrist on October 23rd, he's the same doctor that did David's initial assessment in 2003 and he remembers David. He did have a 45 minutes conversation on the phone with him. David recounted all the stories that have been happening, the disassociations, the anxiety, the rage, etc. This doctor said to David to understand the phone conversation is not the assessment and until the 23rd he doesn't know if he is a threat to the family or just to the public. What he did say was for David to have a clear rehearsed exit plan when he's been triggered both at home and at work. He advised David not to sleep at home until the 23rd.

I'm just flaberghasted that he cannot get to see someone sooner for an assessment baring in mind everything that has been happening.

I suppose the only good thing is the David can recognize when he might lose control and knows to remove himself from the situation.

I'm still disappointed about the wait. WTF. :crazy:

To all the sufferers out there, please do not take offense to what I'm about to say because clearly nobody can argue the immense pain that you are in. BUT, this disorder is clearly an incredibly lonely existence for the carer.

Carmela

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Carmela -

First, let me say as a sufferer and a carer no offense taken at all - you are right unfortunately it can be a very lonely existence for a carer - especially during a crisis. I am so sorry for your entire family.

I am also disappointed to here that he has to wait until the 23rd for an assessment - can he be admitted immediately after that assessment? I think the exit plan is a good idea - and unfortunately, I also agree with the doc about him not sleeping at home until after his assessment. Safety for everyone - must come first. Look at it this way - it also impacts his symptoms and guilt by having these violent outbursts that he is unable to currently control and to feel like he's putting you and your children in harm.

I am so sorry again - continue to vent - and let us know if you need anything while your waiting.

 

[ISupportHer]

Good and Bad:

Good that there was follow through by him and he did at least call and has a firm appointment now. I do think that is huge.

Good that he has been made aware of the need for an exit plan and the awareness that he needs to think of that process ahead of time. It is that pre-planning that is so important. I have what I refer to as my "fire drill" if I come home to something bad. So I can act without thinking too much.

Good that he was advised not to sleep at home until then.

Bad that there is a delay. I am sure that I am not the only one who is really concerned for your safety.

Bad that he has to sleep away from home. I would imagine that you have mixed feelings about that. You need that for safety but it is hard to accept that it is needed.

And I'll close for now with another "good"

Good that you are here and have all the support I see in these responses. Please hang tough!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Personally, I find this unacceptable. Period!!!!! He is clearly out of control,(even though he has been able to control himself so far) but, what happens tomorrow, or the day after or the day after that???????

I'm sorry, but I just find this an unacceptable response from a medical/mental health professional.........

Carmela, I can only suggest this... Keep a very close eye on him, and if you feel he is losing what control that he has, call 911...........I know harsh, but he needs to be protected, as do you and the kids.....

 

[CCurry]

Hi,

Sunnybrookfarm- I don't know if he can be admitted right away after the assessment, I think David said that it might mean a week of waiting if he has to go into the intense month long trauma program but apparently there are many courses of treatment and his course will be decided on the 23rd. He had a sense from David that he was not suicidial and therefore being admitted to a hospital right away to watch over him was not necessary.

Isupporther - It is very good that David followed through with calling on Tuesday morning. I'm proud of him for desperately searching for help, it's one thing to say you're going to call and its another to actually do it.

SheCat- I'm right with you on that, I was outraged that its 10 days away. I also think its irresponsible based on what's been happening. The good news is he can feel a trigger coming on and he's going to walk away but my fear is what if he doesn't one day before the 23rd?

Both my parents and David's parents were very worried after spending time with him yesterday. David's parents said he was not behaving like their David, my parents were very concerned too.

I will be keeping a close eye on him for sure. I don't even know if he'll be coming home tonight for a little bit before he leaves again for the night. As of a little while ago, I asked him to rate his agitation at the moment, he said he was a 5 out of 10. My gf just called me, she told me to google the Gray's Anatomy episode where that military doctor was choking his gf in his sleep. It will give me a bit of reality as to what potentially can happen.

He told this doctor today that he feels he is losing control, the doctor corrected him and said no David it's your ptsd that has lost control. Clearly I think I'm in denial because my David is the sweetest, warmest, most affectionate man I've ever been with!

 

[pandora]

If he is a threat to others..you can have him commited. Under a form 9..I think but that really would get ugly. Can you call homewood on his behalf and tell them how serious this is..maybe if you call and tell them they may be able to get him in sooner. You also have other family members to show that he is different...or call the family doctor? It does sound scary...i watched that episode of greys anatomy and it can happen. We had a girl on the forum a couple of years ago and her father went postal and shot her. This is real....I know you are frustrated and scared and we are not trying to scare you more but the reality is that it can happen. If he is a threat to hisself and others and you explain that to whomever was treating him at homewood the first time maybe they can make things happen faster. If you know the doctors name...or put him in the car and take him there. I am not sure how there admission process works and I am sure there is a waitlist but there must be something that can be done. Have you tried talking to your family md??? Denial will get you hurt...He is not the person you knew right now...I am so sorry you are experencing this along with him. He is a lucky man to have found such a caring and understanding woman. please keep us posted.