General He's Wearing His Dog Tags Again?

[CCurry]

Hi Pandora,

This phyciatrist who works in a Toronto clinic affiliated with Homewood said that if he feels after the assessment that he needs to get into an intense month long program that Homewood has then he will pull strings to get him in soon.

In the meantime, David feels he is able to walk away at work and home if he is triggered. He's already thought of a concrete plan on either end. He decided not to come home at all tonight, actually he's still at work and said he'll be there until 10pm.

He called me a few hours ago and said that he thought a lot about his flair up and said he's convinced that this particular job has significantly increased his stress and thinks that he's gone over the edge because of it. He's boss is extremely stressful, he calls David whenever, late at night if he feels he needs to talk to him, sends him texts at midnight, weekends are a free for all, he's totally taken advantage of David's dedicated nature. From the get go I have told David that I do not think this guy is being professional or respectful of David's family time so I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have a hand in it.

In terms of Homewood admission it's not that simple, you cannot walk in off the street and asked to be assessed. You have to have had an initial assessment from a phychiatrist and then you are admitted into the program if needed.

He's going to talk to this phyciatrist about this work related situation but does anyone know HOW much work related stress can cause an increase of symptoms??

 

[pandora]

Stress good or bad can cause a rise in symptoms but usually does not change our sense of reality...then you know it is bad. has he ever been dx bipolar...or borderline personality. Can you talk to the doctor he did speak to and make him aware of how bad this is really becoming.

 

[CCurry]

Hi Pand,

No, I don't remember this doctors name it is a long one, hard to pronounciate. I'm going to see how he is over the next few days, (by phone because it appears he's chosen to isolate himself). If I feel he is not doing so well I'll see who I can call to expedite this assessment.

Right now, he's just called me, he's leaving work right now and heading to that apartment he's in for the short haul. He seems steady and calm but I have not said anything to cause him distress and in fact I've been nothing but understanding and sweet to him as I know anything I say right now can cause him to go into sensory overload.

Thanks for the post,
Carmela

 

[CCurry]

I guess this is becoming my venting space because I'd like to scream but my son is home.

He told me this morning and in the afternoon that he'd really like to see me this evening, sent me a couple of texts telling me he's really looking forward to it.

He was supposed to be here at 6:30pm, sent me a text at 6:30 and told me he had a flat tire and would be here at 7pm and said he was sorry.

At 7:45pm he still wasn't home and not answering his cell. I decided I needed to go to the drug store not because I needed to get anything but because I needed to get pissed in my car. I left him a message then saying that if he didn't or couldn't come over then he really shouldn't but I have a breaking point too and that I've reached it. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, I realize that but honestly I think I'm going crazy!!

At 8pm he calls me, he said he'd talk to me when he gets here but that he just had an episode in a large chain store and there was a crowd around him. They called 911 and to be honest I'm not sure what happened. I think he was crying on the floor in this store. I'll find out when he gets here.

I'm at a loss, I really want him to check himself in to the hospital because waiting till the 23rd of October for his assessment is WAY too long with the agony he's going through. It's out of the question though because he won't.

Carmela

 

[catjudo]

If he just had an "episode" in the middle of a large chain store, they called 911 and he's now sitting on the floor crying...he may not make it home tonight. Depending on what exactly happened, there is a very real possibility that they will take him to a hospital or some sort of crisis center to be assessed and potentially admitted. At least that would be the most likely scenario here in the US. Like you said, though, that may be the best thing for him right now. If he gets admitted to another hospital now, would it still be possible for him to transfer into his preferred program when an opening becomes available?

Sorry things are so crazy for you right. Hope things in your life are able to calm down soon.

 

[CCurry]

No, they didn't take him to the hospital, I don't know what the story is but he probably refused to go to the hospital. Oh how I wish they did!!

He should have been here a half hour ago based on where he told me he was BUT he's still not home and still not answering his phone!!

I'm going through a bunch of emotions right now.

C.

 

[ISupportHer]

Please be careful.

 

[Pam]

I would suggest again that you consult a lawyer.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Carmela,

I wish that things were better for you right now, but unfortunately they aren't. I do understand your breaking point also, and I also understand why you told David this.....Whether it was a bad or good thing to do, it's done and over with, and you need to move forward and not look back....

Personally, I think he needs to be in a hospital, but unless he agrees, or causes harm to himself or someone else, that isn't likely to happen just yet....

In the mean time, you need to take care of you........

 

[CCurry]

Hi,

I know what's done is done and I can't take back at this point.

When David finally got home at 9pm he told me what happened exactly. He had a flat tire during the day and left the car at this large store that had an auto section. Got picked up from someone at work for the afternoon and was driven back to get his car that now should be ready for pick up.

When he got to the counter, the guy told him that he's tire was shredded and that was all David needed to hear. He didn't know that would be a trigger but it was. Apparently to David hearing that the "tire was shredded" meant in his military world that some terriorists are about to kidnap. It's usually what they did, shred someone's car tire and then kidnap. So, when the guy told him that he dropped to his knees and went into a fetal position. He remembers the guy saying sir are you okay? Then the paramedics came and he remembered them outloud saying what his vital signs were, asked David if he was on any drugs, or medication or chronic condition. David replied that he has ptsd. He remembers the paramedics looking at each other knowingly and then told David that he was okay that he was in Toronto, etc. They stayed with David for one hour just talking. They did recommend that he go to the hospital in which David refused and told them he was okay and that he had an appointment on the 23rd.

That was that. I still wish they insisted!! When David got home, he had a bit of a chat with my 15 year old son to explain to him about ptsd and to let him know that for time being he can't sleep at home because it's safer that way. My son understood, big hugs to David.

This morning I was driving my son to school and I asked him if he noticed anything different with David. He said YES he has but he can't put his finger on what is it exactly.

David ended up staying till 12:30am but he actually fell asleep on the couch almost immediately after he told me the story. He woke up and left again to this apartment he's staying at.

8 more days!!

Carmela

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Carmela -

This situation is now officially out of control (IMO). First, if David is having episodes in stores and is still unresponsive to phone calls etc. he is not well at all. Second, I am concerned that he may reach his breaking point and either become violent around you are to you.

I am so sorry that he is this ill, I am so sorry that the place he wants to be - can not see him sooner - however, I also would like to see him pick back up the phone today - tell the doctor that he is in CRISIS - that he had a breakdown in a store last night - and that he does not feel safe.

If he can't or won't do that - then again, you have to think of your safety and your children. Also, you have to keep yourself healthy - and recognize your boundaries and breaking point.

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Carmela -

We cross posted - so I wanted to let you know that I'm glad David was able to talk to your son - and I also wish he had let them take him to the hospital.

I am thinking of all of you.