Hey - Chronic Pain with PTSD

[anthony]

The frustration is more anxiety actually... anxious to pickup the phone, being anxious to talk to someone on the other end. This is being stemmed from PTSD, being the anxiety. The frustration would result after the thought, ie. why can't I just pickup the damn phone, or... why can't they just help me. Cause and effect. The difference to not getting frustrated, is accepting and understanding that making a phone call is not to be frustrated about, it is because of your anxiety stemmed from trauma, hence PTSD. Controlling frustration as a consequence to others actions, that is still the same, in that you have to look at the bigger picture, in that because you cannot have your own way now, or your needs are not being met at that instant, what other factors are at play? This person on the end of the phone, is it their job to care? Or is it their job to take information, answer the phone calls and merely pass this information along? Is this person I am talking too the decision maker or an aid to the decision maker? These are all realistic self help questions you can ask and answer for yourself if your logical about it. This stops frustration, and instead helps you look at the bigger picture of what is occuring. Yes, you are suffering, but is it this persons job on the other end of the phone to give you everything you want NOW, or is their job to take information, ask questions, record and pass the information to those who make the decisions? We often get angry at the wrong people, hence we create unwarranted frustration and chaos for ourselves as a result. Their not upset, but we are. Why allow it to be that way?

I don't necessarily think its going to help you at being upset with the world, and I mean those within the world who do not understand what you suffer. It is like a person with cancer, another can understand they have cancer, but unless they have it themselves with the fear of death as a consequence, they can never truly understand the feelings, hence their ignorance to it. To others, they cannot see anything with mental illness, because its in the mind, hence all they can understand is "get over it", and not what is actually occuring. Unless they suffer it, they will never understand.

Its seems that your getting frustrated about societies ignorance to your illness, however; the only person that is affecting is yourself. Its really up to you whether you continue that cycle or not, but I don't personally see it as helping you in any way. Me personally, I would never wish PTSD upon even my worst enemies in life... why would I want someone else to suffer this if they didn't have too?

Healing is about accepting WM, not about being angry at the world for something we cannot change now. We can control ourselves, but we cannot control others or life itself. We can get as angry as we want, but all we do is create a lower level for ourselves, nobody else is being affected. Anger is not an emotion, its an emotional response. If your getting angry at life itself, then you need to start looking deeper to the emotional level of what emotion is causing the anger. Yes, generally frustration is a big one. Frustation being the emotion, anger the emotional response.

Either way for yourself, I feel for you, because not only do you have PTSD, but the problematic issue is the ABS, because to heal from PTSD you must get down to the emotional core, but by doing so you stem the ABS. Tough decisions on your end.... definately!

 

[woundedme]

Well Im not getting frustrated at the wrong persons, and I know myself that the woman I talk to on the phone is most likely only the secretary...but Id get frustrated at the doc for not making an effort to get me on disability...in case he just puts it off out of ignorance....cuz it is indeed in his hands to help me or not. Thats up to him, and if he doesnt help me then I get frustrated at him, and its my perfect right. Its not unwarranted frustration, and even if I got upset at the secretary then it wouldnt even be unwarranted, cuz last time when I had to cancel the appointment because I had a fit of weakness and just couldnt drive there....she basically threw a reproach at me like I should cancel appointments sooner so that they can put a patient in at this time...as if its my problem when she cannot put another patient in my place....that kind of things piss me off, and Im not afraid to tell her that in case she thinks its my responsibility to care for her patients....

Also, its one thing when someone cannot understand what it feels like to be in pain and ptsd, but its another thing when someone denies that the person suffers in the first place....I mean Im frustrated at people basically saying that its a character flaw or even just a lie when you have pain...ya know? To hell with these kinds of people, and I do wish it on them! Theyd even deserve it. I dont have to be a saint, and Im not, and I never want to be.

I mean just saying that frustration is counterproductive is just another invalidation, cuz frustration is productive, after all it defines my boundaries....even the stupid secretary tramples on me in case I dont tell her to get off....I usually dont even get rude, thats how gentle I am, and it would be a perfectly appropriate reaction to get rude....if im just a lifeless container without my own frustrations and anger, then I dont exist anyway....my anger is justified, and its necessary because without it, people just trample on me, which made me end up with ptsd and pain in the first place....just because frustration doesnt get me what I want doesnt mean its unjustified, after all without frustration, I also hardly get what I want, so with frustration I can at least release some tension....

Well its not necessarily a tough decision what to do first and second, because my illness makes the decisions for me....and its like I know how to get on, I only have very limited energy to do that...

 

[anthony]

WM, don't get me wrong, it's your decisions, as its your life and really all that matters is what makes you happy, not what anyone else thinks. If your happy that frustration is not causing you pain, then only you know that, which is the right decision for you. You know yourself best. People are ignorant to things they don't understand, and society will never change this, regardless how much they are made aware, they will never change. That is a big statement in itself, but factual.

 

[goingonhope]

:hello: Hello woundedme,

Glad you could join us, and Welcome!

 

[woundedme]

Thanks. I already anticipated you wanted to invalidate my frustrations as being 'irrational' or so...which theyre not.

I have the doc visit today, and Im nervous and detached...i dont expect anything from it except get it over without anxiety, panic, or worse....:drugs:

 

[anthony]

Hi Wounded,

Quite honestly, I think your just looking for a fight, which you will not get here. You are frustrated at the world, and you decided to take it out here, because your not hearing what you want to hear, what you want to be told. You won't get that here. What you will get is the right way in which to heal PTSD, nothing more, nothing less. It is being shown here time and time again... or proof is in the pudding you could say.

Again, if you want help, or you want to discuss, just say so, but if you just want to argue, then you can feel free to do so with yourself.

 

[woundedme]

The only one that wants a fight is you, anthony.

I didnt take anything out on anyone on the forum, I was even polite and all, and then you load me up with your sht about how I have to feel and that crap...you know what, teach other people how they have to be according to your opinion, but dont take your narrowmindedness out on me dude....

What you will get is the right way in which to heal PTSD

Uh? So when you know it all and the right way, then why are people posting on a forum like this for months to discuss opinions and get support...when the right way is such a clear cut thing to you and the forum in general? When you know it all then why do people still struggle to find solutions? After your patronizing post, and the last rude one, Im sure you know nothing in fact...you only know everything better....noone needs that.

 

[cookie]

wounded, you are not being fair. please step back, look around and give things a chance if you want help. no one will force you to do anything. please read back over your posts with an open mind and you will see that they have an edge, and politeness is actually scarce there. that said, you are welcome here for help, please don't abuse it.

 

[anthony]

WM, there is a right way to heal actually, the only difference is a slight modification to each step according to an individuals needs. For example, your anger and hostility towards myself, that is not a right way to heal, because the only person getting angry is you, not me, hence the only person being affected in a negative aspect is you, not me. That is a known wrong method to healing. Another right method to healing could be EMDR, however; because EMDR worked for one person, it doesn't mean it will work for another, because the severity of the trauma/s themselves depict whether or not a person is suitable to endure such a known therapy, being a right way to healing, but again, it works for some, not for others, more as an appropriateness vs. dangers involved in the treatment. There are endless right and wrong ways to healing PTSD, these are factual, not fictional, these are medical, scientific, researched and applied practice treatments which are positive direction methods to healing trauma, and manageing PTSD itself.

I used to be as angry as you are now. I was once angry at the world for everything that I had been labelled and suffering, though none of my anger was productive to me getting better, in fact it did only make me worse. You miss the point I believe, that I suffer PTSD myself, so your not telling me anything new in regard to what you feel, the symptoms or repercussions associated to PTSD, because I myself have walked the all mighty shit PTSD path to destruction, and woken up to myself to now be a much better person within, and to others, life, my children, family, friends and strangers.

As cookie said, your posts have that edge to them all, the same edge I picked up because I have been where you are now, though without the ABS... so your really not telling me anything new in regard to anger WM. I looked at your name "wounded me" when you registered, and I wondeded whether that meant you where looking for sympathy, looking for someone to unleash your anger upon, looking for someone to agree with your destructive thinking styles. My first presumption was correct I believe, because this is what you want, however I cannot give this too you. You can yell, scream and cuss all day long at me here, but nobody is being affected except you. I am only looking at you thinking to myself, "geez, this person needs serious help, its a shame they don't really want it".

There is a difference to being angry at the world, and then directing that anger to people themselves. I have been there, done that one, know full well from my own experience. I used to punch people for no reason, I had used a persons weapon on themselves, I have broken peoples bones because they looked at me the wrong way, and the list goes on. You can't tell me about your anger WM, because I have lived it, and I can see what you are also living from my own experience.

Getting past our anger is one of the most difficult things to do, because we cannot begin to heal until we do so. Anger is an emotional response, nothing more, nothing less. Frustration is often the cause of anger, though many other emotions play a role within it. Finding those emotions, finding the reasons for those emotions, help us to find the control we need, we desire to control anger, thus opening the pathway for us to heal effectively.

What defines your path to getting better, is the choices you make. There is no right or wrong in these choices, because they are what you percieve to be the best for you at the time. We often make a choice then look back later and tell ourselves it was a bad choice, or a good choice. My words to you here are getting confused within your anger, your rage, as not only what I am saying to you, but most likely anything anybody says too you. Your anger is controlling you, it is controlling what you take in, it is controlling what you hear. If this is what makes you happy, then this is right for you, but again, what is right for you does not mean I must agree with you, because I don't see your anger as helping you at all, nor your self sympathy towards your anger, life and the world. Anger is destructive, and the only person it ultimately destroys, is ourselves.

If you want help WM, if you want to discuss, then again, we are here for you to do that, but if you just want to displace your anger and direct it towards myself, or another here, then that is not acceptable, because so many people here suffer the same as what you do, and they want to heal, they want to get better, and they are prepared to listen to everyone and take what they need personally from every members comments, without displacing unwarranted anger towards another because of their opinion.

I guess we will see if you reply, whether its in anger, or whether you can discuss these thoughts. Just remember before you reply, your anger is only affecting you, not me.

 

[woundedme]

Know what...youre still accusing me of things Ive not done before you started accusing me.....you say I direct my anger towards people on the board, but the only ones Ive been angry at is the doc and the phone woman....neither are on the board, so why do you keep harping on me having taken out my anger on people on here???????? I never have until you started to unfairly assume things about me, and firing off accusations, and cookie, if youd read my replies carefully then youd realize that I have NOT been impolite to anyone here except for anthony after he started to project his own issues with frustration on me....

Know what....the ones that really have issues are you guys because youre pathologically and automatically referring everything to yourself...that is, when I say the secretary pissed me off you automatically feel as if I had said you piss me off....you seem to be unable to distinguish between yourself, and others.....which is actually pretty insane.

I also think some on here are nuts...youre not fully normal....and I also see that your way of overcoming ptsd is suppressing and eradicating any emotions you have, until you become emotionless......its no wonder you accused me of things Ive never done, after all since you suppress your own frustrations, you have to project them on other people and feel as if theyre against you.....which is not true, because before you were rude, I did not take out my anger on anyone on the board, and only because my posts were edgy doesnt mean its directed against you....well now they are cuz you just started patronizing me, critizising, and accusing me without even having reasons except your own issues....I dont need to put up with people just projecting things on me.

You guys are nuts.....Ive also talked to a good friend about it (I do have friends that love me and I really dont depend on an internet forum for help), and she is a nurse, and she also thinks youre nuts.....she knows people with ptsd and she says most of them are nuts....and suppressing every emotion and then thinking that everything others say is directed against you...this is nuts....and you know what, now I really am against you, but only since you started to be rude and unfair.by accusing me...

Ill tell you what...only because youve been successful at eradicating your emotions doesnt mean youre a better person...in fact, youre a worse person because now instead of openly being aggressive, youre passively directing your unacknowledged frustrations out on me by accusing me unjustified....

And when you say youve broken peoples bones...I dont know if you mean that figuratively or literally, but if its meant in a literal sense then I can only say you really are insane, and a dangerous person....I mean its obvious that you were severely violent, and now youre also violent, only in a more subtle way....
To your information, just because youre violent and insane doesnt mean others that have anger must be as strange in this respect as you are...youre just projecting your distorted view of reality on me by accusing me of things Ive never done before...just because Im angry at doctors doesnt mean I was angry at you guys....but now I am, cuz youre really just impossible.

Im out a here because I value myself enough so that I dont want to have anything to do with people that are just unfair and abnormal....all I wanted was to find out if people know what helps for chronic pain, but no one knows anything, so I dont have any business here anyway...

 

[anthony]

Ta ta wounded... I don't thing anyone here is nuts, not even you. You are angry, you are spiteful, you cannot see past your own nose, but hey, that is you obviously in your infinite wisdom.

Thread closed.