Sufferer Hi, I Have Lost My Child In A Horrible Accident

[Omnia vincit amor]

Switzerland...

 

[timetorecover]

Is the health care system there like here in the uk that it's either public or private? The reason I am curious is that I believe the care here is such a contrast. With the private sector they are quick to grab the money but the empathy and standard of care is much better.

Having experienced both, I actually have found this site to be the most helpful!!!

It is really important to share how you are feeling in order to step closer to feeling better and I actually find it easier to do on here rather than face to face with a therapist or family or friends.

I am happy to help you if you want :)

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

I am happy to help you if you want :)

Thank you so much. Here theoretically there is no difference in the medical care (except as private I had twice a week 15 minutes with the consultant and once a week 15 minutes with the professor (who got short update from a nurse before you entered his room not to mix you up with a visitor).

I was alone in my room, I got every day fresh flower decoration and could choose from 3 menues ( I was hardly eating anyway, lost 13 kg during this time).

I also have the suspicion, have no comparison , that in the private clinics or ward the consitution of the patients are different and certainly the hospital is financed primarily by the private patients (1000 CHF / day or so).

So the interest is clearly against tranferring the pt to another hospital.

I have asked an pt organization for legal etc advise, they confirmed that it is very difficult to prove that the hospital made mistake, the process is complicated, chances are low.

 

[NIKI]

I'm so angry for you, the way you were treated in the hospital! Have they no heart? Are they so desensitized that they can't care anymore?

You will get so much support here Katerina, I'm so glad you found your way here. This forum has helped me more then therapy. I hope that it will help you also.

(((A Big Hug for you)) if that is O.K.

 

[timetorecover]

I have asked an pt organization for legal etc advise, they confirmed that it is very difficult to prove that the hospital made mistake, the process is complicated, chances are low.

The process would be complicated and very stressful!

It's not something that you need right now. Maybe in the future when you have the strength?

The hospitals response to our complaint was that they needed to activate me. Even though I was misdiagnosed and not treated for trauma!

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

I expect similar answer as an institution can not admit mistakes.

I also asked how could this happen, they all want to do their job well (I assume) and the result is that they torture and humiliate another already suffering human being.

My current therapist explained to me that the staff often react with rejection to trauma patients, as an unconscious self protection. They are not able to deal with the fact that someone completely innocent can experience such horrible things, it would mean that their world could be distroyed any time as well.
Furthermore, not sufficiently experienced/qualified therapists can be traumatised just by listening to the patient. As such they could actually show the same symptoms as well.

However, none of these explanations help to heal the wounds they caused.
They are also very well aware of the fact that the patients are not in the condition to defend themselves even with legal support.

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

I am sorry, it might not be the appropriate forum but I have question:

I left the hospital at Easter time and since then I am going to a good ambulant therapist, to physiotherapy, art therapy, sport and I am feeling somehow worse everyday. I am not able to cope with my appointments, I am more and more lost and depressed.

Is this "normal", could it be a phase only? I do not understand, what is wrong with me?
I do not have confrontations (only at home), I do what I am told to do, I try.... But

 

[timetorecover]

Is this "normal", could it be a phase only? I do not understand, what is wrong with me?
I do not have confrontations (only at home), I do what I am told to do, I try.... ButHi katerina

I cannot tell you what is normal but I pick on the point you mention that you have said that you have confrontation at home and that you do as you are told.
Are you in an unhappy relationship? This can add to the symptoms, I know that as I am a living example!!

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

As my husband and daughter are both affected I am not allowed to talk about the hospital or my therapy at home. I am not allowed to cry in front of my child. They can not deal with my emotions, it would retraumatise them.

It was the same when I was in the hospital, I was going home at the weekends but we did hardly talk and I had no visitors.

I take benzodiazepin when I am with my daughter, that she is not worried about me. Her therapist is concerned that she reacts strongly to my condition. I do not know what happiness is, I only have memory of it. Life is frozen, relationships are frozen. We have a game: act as nothing has happened.

 

[timetorecover]

We play the same game! My husband cannot cope with communicating feelings. Have you been to family therapy? How old is your daughter?

I am sure that the grief that you are all suffering is huge. I can not even begin to try to imagine. I would expect being a mother though, it is a stronger feeling. I can understand how it would re spark your families traumas.
It's a catch for you because you clearly need the support.

Stay on this forum, there is lots of support here for you xxx

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

My husband was invited to some of my therapy sessions, but he does not believe in it, does not think it can help.
II am bringing my daughter to therapy and sometimes staying with her, she is 13. She is never talking about what happened, never crying. Her therapist thinks it's because of me.
Actually she is the only reason I am still here, and try to survive.

 

[timetorecover]

Sorry I just wanted to add that it's only a year since your loss. It will get easier. You will never forget but time really does heal! Hang in there and ride the storm. Cherish your daughter and try and work with your husband to finding a way to mourn together xxx