Hi.
I was diagnosed in 2000 with complex PTSD. I had run away from my fiance and changed my name, looks, address and so on with the help of the women's shelter while he was out of town. This was done because the women's shelter did a threat assessment on him and determined that I was in extreme danger due to his past threats and behaviors, mobility, income and level of anger. We lived together but he traveled for work about half of the time, so we had weeks of separation at a time. I was urged by a friend to contact the women's shelter because during our last argument he'd made some serious threats against my child and he was quite capable of going through with them. I would never have left him otherwise, but I would never let him hurt my child. The women's shelter in the town that I moved to set me up with a therapist and psychiatrist, they gave me the diagnosis. I saw her over the course of a year. Then I quit going. I haven't had much help since. A few times over the years I reached out to forums and groups, I saw one therapist once and a psychiatrist a few times but I could not "open up" and left them all. To this day - sixteen years later - this is about how much I "open up" about him, I still feel bad for leaving him. I know I shouldn't but I can't seem to get past that. I still feel that I was in the wrong and I miss him. I made him a promise and I didn't keep it. I know I could not keep it once he threatened my child but that doesn't change my feelings. I knew once I left I couldn't go back and I'd be in hiding forever. So that's my history and you'll probably see me lurking, not sure how good I will be about all this.
I was diagnosed in 2000 with complex PTSD. I had run away from my fiance and changed my name, looks, address and so on with the help of the women's shelter while he was out of town. This was done because the women's shelter did a threat assessment on him and determined that I was in extreme danger due to his past threats and behaviors, mobility, income and level of anger. We lived together but he traveled for work about half of the time, so we had weeks of separation at a time. I was urged by a friend to contact the women's shelter because during our last argument he'd made some serious threats against my child and he was quite capable of going through with them. I would never have left him otherwise, but I would never let him hurt my child. The women's shelter in the town that I moved to set me up with a therapist and psychiatrist, they gave me the diagnosis. I saw her over the course of a year. Then I quit going. I haven't had much help since. A few times over the years I reached out to forums and groups, I saw one therapist once and a psychiatrist a few times but I could not "open up" and left them all. To this day - sixteen years later - this is about how much I "open up" about him, I still feel bad for leaving him. I know I shouldn't but I can't seem to get past that. I still feel that I was in the wrong and I miss him. I made him a promise and I didn't keep it. I know I could not keep it once he threatened my child but that doesn't change my feelings. I knew once I left I couldn't go back and I'd be in hiding forever. So that's my history and you'll probably see me lurking, not sure how good I will be about all this.
