Hi - Stalked

[SilverWing]

hi, just call me 'SilverWing' for now ... i'm 22 years old girl. i had constant fear of being stalked ... because when i was 16, i was stalked by one of my friends in chat room. he was kind at first, being like a special friend to me. but then he said he wanted me for his girlfriend and wouldn't take no for answer. he was 10 years older than me and i was afraid that my parents would know. my parents had a rule of not having a boyfriend so early and i was so scared that they would be angry with me if i tell. but then i changed my mobile phone number and i had never heard of him ever since ... but the fear still disturbs me until now. i was scared whenever i added new boy mate in facebook. i always terrified when they say hello to me in chatrooms, even though they just being friendly as a friend. i hated of being so paranoid .. and sad, because i really wanted to be like the old me, who never be afraid of make friends with the others ...
just yesterday i added new friend in facebook, he said hello to me and all ... but then the fear came again. i was scared of him for no reason. i didn't know who am i going to talk to so i finally found this form. hopefully joining this will be another step to me towards healing. i am in medical school so after i finish, i will have to face many people ... i don't want to be disturb by my fear.

thank you
sincerely

SilverWing

 

[Clydiechick]

Hi, I think you need to see a professional and be diagnosed, that would be the first thing to do. Secondly I would stay out of chat rooms.
Where are you from, which country are you studying in?

Clydie

 

[SilverWing]

i'm in Indonesia. i wanted to see psychiatrist but i was afraid that i might worry my family. i saw one of my psychiatry lecturers at school and she helps me a lot. she gave me an anti-anxiety drugs, but only to use whenever i felt too scared. when i took the drugs, i felt ok. it's a little sedative so i could go to sleep easily afterward. but she gave me only small dose (because i was afraid that i might get too addicted) and i couldn't use it often, only when i couldn't help myself anymore. i'm really sick with my own fear. i stopped using public chat rooms now, only yahoo messenger so i really know who am i talking to. in facebook, i often got the chat in offline mode. but .. sometimes i got a bit paranoid, afraid that one of my friends will start posting things in my wall (they do not do that until now, thank God for that)
thank you for replying ...

SilverWing

 

[Deleted member 541]

You really do need to be evaluated by a professional. Not sure how things are done in your country, but having a professor of Psychiatry here is NOT an acceptable way of obtaining medication. It is illegal here, if this person does not have a MD degree to do so....

 

[Clydiechick]

You really should go and get some professional help, you should talk to your family, it is worse to keep it from them, worse for you. Medication is okay if it helps. I was very 'negative' towards medication but I know now I can't do without it.

Please get some help and be diagnosed so you are treated properly.

Clydie

 

[SilverWing]

You really do need to be evaluated by a professional. Not sure how things are done in your country, but having a professor of Psychiatry here is NOT an acceptable way of obtaining medication. It is illegal here, if this person does not have a MD degree to do so....

it's alright. she has an MD degree and she's also a psychiatrist in a mental hospital, but she also teach psychiatry in my uni. i will try and get more intensive therapy from her, perhaps i will try to find her in her clinic if possible ... thanks so much *hugs*

 

[rjtransient]

Hi SilverWing,

I'll be the third one to say you absolutely should be seeing a professional about this. I don't quite understand the term you use, 'psychiatry lecturer' - is this person a professor, a nurse, a medical doctor...? You need to talk to somebody who is licensed to treat anxiety disorders. I'm not sure how it works where you live, but university students here in Canada have access to free counselling. I assume your parents are helping to support you financially. Does your school offer any medical insurance that would cover evaluation by a psychiatrist and/or a psychologist? I'm reading online that many colleges in Indonesia offer student health insurance plans.

In the meantime, I would see your doctor about the anxiety if you feel you should be on medication. Your family doesn't have to be involved.

 

[rjtransient]

it's alright. she has an MD degree and she's also a psychiatrist in a mental hospital, but she also teach psychiatry in my uni. i will try and get more intensive therapy from her, perhaps i will try to find her in her clinic if possible ... thanks so much *hugs*

Okay, good to hear. I'm still not sure how that came about, but I do hope you follow up on it.

Regarding cyberstalking or attracting creeps online, I'm a long-term veteran of that kind of thing, so feel free to PM me if there's anything you'd like to talk about. Seriously. I have links to online resources, and I can always lend an ear.

 

[anni]

Hi Silver Wing,

I'm here from trauma which involved stalking. Mine was different but the fear is the same. Because of it you'll no doubt have a tough time trusting even people here, I know. ( This is kind of hard to write, so if I'm at all unclear please excuse?)

I haven't been here very long, but have been able to gain some confidence in trusting the members, more than any single group anywhere in the last 2 decades. Enough, actually, to be able to view your post with the word 'Stalking' in the thread. Maybe it hasn't been that long for me here, but I haven't come across anyone at all scary or inrtusive yet and don't think I will. You instead get REALLY caring people with experience and knowledge.

I'm getting rattled so am going to stop making sense any moment now. I just need to add that finally seeing a professional was incredibly helpful, and was the best thing I could have done. It's a nice thing to do for yourself.

I hope you'll have the ability to be able to at least trust those here who reach out. It's really, really ok, I think.

Take care,

Anni

 

[onebravegirl]

Your family will feel much worse if you do not get the help you need. Chat rooms and online friendships are risky. Ask yourself why you keep going back to them.
A very good book for you to take a loo at is called The Gift Of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. It talks about how you can learn when you are in danger and how to deal with stalker behavior.
Seriously...try the book.
Therpist can help you identify why you keep feeling this way, and help you feel safer.
Welcome to this forum, many of us have had to deal with Agressive/abusive men, and would be glad to support you.
O