Sufferer Hi

[anthony]

You only have five posts, so if you want to change your username, then please post a request in the help desk and it can be changed once as a new member, to ensure anonymity.

 

[ptsDana]

For one thing, I would take a look at the fact that you may be attracting what you have become. If people are treating you like an object it is because you are treating yourself like one. I have had a lot of the same problems and its taken me a long time to become a different person. I went through a really hard time in the last couple of years because I am getting older and couldn't find a job so suddenly I was very poor. I experienced a lot of rejection because I was always "that beautiful girl" and suddenly I wasn't beautiful anymore. Holy wake-up call. I didn't have safe place to live; was unemployed; CRYING all of the time because of issues and PTSD; my reputation in tatters because of past promiscuity and all ANYONE caed about was the fact I wasn't hot anymore.

Being celibate sounds very nice. But, my urges to have some sort of intercourse with anyone remotely attractive is overwhelming. I have realized that I have 'interesting' standards as far as 'love interests' go and wonder if am I shooting short. Could I do better?.. Or do I already have someone who really cares despite my inability to be the best of girlfriends?.. I suppose it all takes time. I just need friends that can't abuse me as I abuse myself. Though, my filter has been completely distorted since childhood. I don't know who to trust and it surely is not myself. As I said, these things take time and somewhere in my heart I feel I don't have much. Life is the fastest slow thing I have ever encountered, such as a sunset.