Hi everyone,
I'm having a hard time writing this so I'm just going to blurt it out...apologies in advance...
I was diagnosed 12 years ago with major depression and borderline personality disorder, then a couple of months later with ptsd. Took me a while to find a therapist I felt comfortable with and I've been seeing her for 3 years now. She was the person who introduced me to the concept of complex trauma and cptsd and that is my current diagnosis.
I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive father and was sexually abused as a child by a family friend for about 6 years. No support or help from my parents when they finally found out. No surprise though. Self harm and dissociation were my best friends.
I was married for 23 years to a man who was physically, sexually, emotionally, verbally and financially abusive. I escaped the marriage 5 years ago with nothing. Didn't even have a bank account before leaving. I don't really know how I got through life...I remember everything but it all seems like a bad dream.
My first diagnosis happened 12 years ago after I was violently assaulted by a neighbour. It was the straw that broke the camels back and I couldn't keep everything contained in the little boxes inside my head anymore. Had to have reconstructive plastic surgery on my face and head. A few months after that I ended up in hospital after trying to commit suicide.
I am now away from all the abusers of my past and trying to build a life for myself...for the first time. I have good days and loads of bad days (today isn't a great one). I struggle with triggers that come out of nowhere along with so many other things like interacting with people and the constant internal conversations with myself that question (and argue about) every single thing that I do or plan to do and also question the motives of every person I come into contact with...it's exhausting.
So, that's me in a nutshell. Sorry if I've bored you all to death. Xxx
I'm having a hard time writing this so I'm just going to blurt it out...apologies in advance...
I was diagnosed 12 years ago with major depression and borderline personality disorder, then a couple of months later with ptsd. Took me a while to find a therapist I felt comfortable with and I've been seeing her for 3 years now. She was the person who introduced me to the concept of complex trauma and cptsd and that is my current diagnosis.
I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive father and was sexually abused as a child by a family friend for about 6 years. No support or help from my parents when they finally found out. No surprise though. Self harm and dissociation were my best friends.
I was married for 23 years to a man who was physically, sexually, emotionally, verbally and financially abusive. I escaped the marriage 5 years ago with nothing. Didn't even have a bank account before leaving. I don't really know how I got through life...I remember everything but it all seems like a bad dream.
My first diagnosis happened 12 years ago after I was violently assaulted by a neighbour. It was the straw that broke the camels back and I couldn't keep everything contained in the little boxes inside my head anymore. Had to have reconstructive plastic surgery on my face and head. A few months after that I ended up in hospital after trying to commit suicide.
I am now away from all the abusers of my past and trying to build a life for myself...for the first time. I have good days and loads of bad days (today isn't a great one). I struggle with triggers that come out of nowhere along with so many other things like interacting with people and the constant internal conversations with myself that question (and argue about) every single thing that I do or plan to do and also question the motives of every person I come into contact with...it's exhausting.
So, that's me in a nutshell. Sorry if I've bored you all to death. Xxx
