- Post starter
- #13
SeanCharles
Diamond Member
Okay...
I realize that this post is very confusing. I wrote this post after another rough work day ending the week.
I am at rock bottom as I am beyond frustration. I am not in suicidal ideation, meaning no thoughts of suicide, or self-injury or anything self-harm related.
With this thread I was obviously incoherently venting my frustrations while attempting to look at the issues I thought I was clearly identifying. Apparently, I am not even sure I know which "part" (as I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID and do dissociate) wrote this as I do frequent shifting to different parts even though I do also usually maintain a level of co-consciousness when another one comes forward. I am wondering if this symptom is worsening due to the constant undue stress I am under.
My other frustration which is life oriented; is what to do I really want to do career wise, how do I want to live, I guess If I can't figure out where I am on the map, I can't use the map very well as guidance tool to reach my destination.
I am feeling that I have failed my selves, as I(we) have been working for the company I/we are employed with for nearly six (6) years! This is in ways the longest I've/we have held a job despite all the frustrations and stress (which until I (Geordie) was actually diagnosed with ptsd (NOS). Prior to this my work history has holes because of the fact that I had disabilities, have encountered multiple traumas one of which was work related, and was raped by roommate who was caught in the act and then kicked out, and the three childhood traumas including my birth (I haven't even worked on that one yet 100%).
Moving forward, I am completely stuck! I want to and need to make some changes.
I hope this clarifies some confusion.
I realize that this post is very confusing. I wrote this post after another rough work day ending the week.
I am at rock bottom as I am beyond frustration. I am not in suicidal ideation, meaning no thoughts of suicide, or self-injury or anything self-harm related.
With this thread I was obviously incoherently venting my frustrations while attempting to look at the issues I thought I was clearly identifying. Apparently, I am not even sure I know which "part" (as I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID and do dissociate) wrote this as I do frequent shifting to different parts even though I do also usually maintain a level of co-consciousness when another one comes forward. I am wondering if this symptom is worsening due to the constant undue stress I am under.
My other frustration which is life oriented; is what to do I really want to do career wise, how do I want to live, I guess If I can't figure out where I am on the map, I can't use the map very well as guidance tool to reach my destination.
I am feeling that I have failed my selves, as I(we) have been working for the company I/we are employed with for nearly six (6) years! This is in ways the longest I've/we have held a job despite all the frustrations and stress (which until I (Geordie) was actually diagnosed with ptsd (NOS). Prior to this my work history has holes because of the fact that I had disabilities, have encountered multiple traumas one of which was work related, and was raped by roommate who was caught in the act and then kicked out, and the three childhood traumas including my birth (I haven't even worked on that one yet 100%).
Moving forward, I am completely stuck! I want to and need to make some changes.
I hope this clarifies some confusion.
