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- #13
Hopefulphoenix
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@erigby Ty so much for your reply. Im happy to say that since I wrote that post the depression began breaking.
Being a member here helped alot.
In that deep deep black fog I thought Id never come out again.
I think I finally found the root cause of the hopelessness. It was that I did not want to have left my marriage or have moved out alone (which happened in an untreated manic period, didnt even know I had BP!).
My husband agreed that we would try and re build again, despite not being allowed to move back in till im more stable. (howl! I hate living alone) And after that it started lifting.
I still have ptsd tho..a bunch of anxiety and I am pretty much very isolated after 4.5 months of depression. I am so greatful that that terrible eternal feeling of pain has lifted..but I still feel crappy. Nuances! There is now at least room for progress..which im going to trauma diary about.
Being a member here helped alot.
In that deep deep black fog I thought Id never come out again.
I think I finally found the root cause of the hopelessness. It was that I did not want to have left my marriage or have moved out alone (which happened in an untreated manic period, didnt even know I had BP!).
My husband agreed that we would try and re build again, despite not being allowed to move back in till im more stable. (howl! I hate living alone) And after that it started lifting.
I still have ptsd tho..a bunch of anxiety and I am pretty much very isolated after 4.5 months of depression. I am so greatful that that terrible eternal feeling of pain has lifted..but I still feel crappy. Nuances! There is now at least room for progress..which im going to trauma diary about.
