Another hope request!

[Hopefulphoenix]

When I first joined the forum before xmas I was depressed and I asked for support then. I got it and it helped!
Crappily enough, I seem to have fallen down the rabbit hole again.
I dont know what to ask. Firstly I dont respond to anti depressants so thats out.
I want to know peoples experience on how to survive this period coz it feels so scary and unbearable and I dont know how long it will go on for.
I know from previous experience that it always does go over eventually, but right now each moment feels like an eternity and it hurts so very much.
I think I am depressed because I feel stuck where I am. And I need to deal with my current situation before I can move on.
In march I found out that I couldnt work. And in therapy we have concluded that I have to be able to look after myself around the house and have it ok- then move out into society.
I think I am blocked with this. My husband and kids are away 9 til 4 and it feels like an ocean of time to fill. I have never learned how to be alone and keep myself occupied and have it ok.
When I was a kid I was alone most of the time in my room with no care people around. When they were they were abusive.
I am trying to do things to occupy my brain, to keep eating and excercising but its very hard. I just keep crying.
As always any hope, experience or encouragement most welcome!

 

[ladee]

Sorry you are no longer able to work. That by itself can be depressing and adding to the load we carry.

What came to mind is art. That can be a very healing and self affirming outlet.
And since art takes a myriad of forms it can be interesting and fun just to research what you would like to do.

YouTube and Pinterest are huge resources to find something that might interest you.

Art is my 'go to' when I feel lost and it is very grounding. And it doesn't have to be complicated or expensive.

Wishing you some joy and peace of mind on this next stage of your journey.

 

[The Albatross]

I have to come back to this: "it feels like an ocean of time to fill. I have never learned how to be alone and keep myself occupied"
Being open to opportunities instead of feeling it's an ocean of time to "fill" is a good place to start. I would also suggest that endeavoring to learn how to be alone and self propel some activities or creative outlet to do would be beneficial. After all, at one time or another it is not an unreasonable expectation that in life we will at one time or another be alone.