Hospitalization

[batgirl]

Bec makes a good point about lock down. It can feel really safe too. I do think I know what you mean about it being claustrophobic though Grace. I used to feel that way before I was admitted... like I couldn't stand not having a way to get out of there. But it's not lock down in the same sense as prison. At least it wasn't in my case. You are not locked in your room, you can wander around the ward. The ward I was on was fairly large. There were all the patient's room, the dining room, common areas and recreation rooms, a courtyard, etc. It was a very open area kind of set up, not small and enclosed at all.

Since you know you might be going to hospital, can you maybe go for a tour of the hospital before they admit you? Just to take some of the mystery out of it? I find its always helped me to know a bit about where I'm going, it makes me less anxious. Anyways take care, I hope you can sleep soon. I can't tonight either.

 

[grace5555]

Thanks for your post, Evie...I wish I could figure out someway to be safe. I seem to leave myself open to whatever may happen because I freeze. I cannot imagine being locked in with strangers that I don't know are safe and no way for me to get out. Seems like I am too stupid to manage to keep myself safe from attacks and that is just plain crazy. My mind is fighting me, such holes - I am sorry..I don't think I am making sense here...forgive me please.

 

[batgirl]

That's okay, I understand being upset about it. If you do think of a way to feel safe maybe you can request it and they will accomodate you? For example I know I wanted my room set up a certain way so I could see all the doors and windows, that's really important to me. So they let me rearrange the furniture. You could bring objects from home, too, like for decoration and to make it feel homier.

 

[grace5555]

Thank you, Evie - those are good ideas and if I am "there" enough to request that, i will - that would help to be able to see the windows and doors and to at least have my old, reliable teddy bear with me. I am looking for the right words I wan tto say and i just can't find them...........

 

[batgirl]

Well maybe write down stuff as you think of it, and then you have a list to take with you if and when you go? So you're not feeling pressured into remembering everything at once? I make lists all the time because my memory is horrible. Btw I have brain issues too, your not alone in that.

 

[kers]

I seem to leave myself open to whatever may happen because I freeze.

You're not alone. I do this too. My dissociation has been the chief focus of my treatment for a few months.

I can tell how scared you are about this. What is your doctor's goal in suggesting hospitalization? It may be that you need to go in to stabilize enough to really begin to deal with what's going on. This might be the first step to you feeling more in control of what's going on.

I have lots of 'holes' too and keep lists about everything. In fact, I keep a calendar/notebook to keep track of everything!

You're not alone.

 

[Deleted member 487]

The idea of hospitalization has come about in discussions with counselors, especially lately. I have felt so desperate for help that I feel I have no other choice. But my experience tells me different. My experiences tell me of when I did go into a hospital for voluntary inpatient, twice in fact, and both times the hospital staff threatened me with involuntary hospitalization if I didn't do this or refused to do that and so on. Does anyone in their right mind really think I'll chance THAT again?

 

[grace5555]

Well - I've been gone for a while. Some of it at the hospital - or so I am told since I don't remember. This is just hell...but I guess you all know all about it.

 

[batgirl]

Ugh that really sucks that you don't remember... it must be scary. Take care Grace.

 

[grace5555]

Thank you, Evie - scared is one of the operative words of the moment, but I am guessing you understand that. Hope you are doing ok.

 

[Anna5]

I was in a psyc hosptial 3 times back in 1998-1999. All the psyc hospital did was drug me up and sent me out. All it did was create more trauma for me. This summer I spent three weeks inpatient at a trauma unit in Hollywood, Florida. This unit is strickly for female and strickly for trauma. They say spending three weeks inpatient is like having 14 years of therapy. I learned a lot there. www.wiit.com
Here is a book: Separated From the Light: A Path Back from Psychological Trauma by William B. Tollefson, Ph.D.