How Can A Single Person Cause Triggers/stressors

[Deleted member 33287]

If she knows you have a love interest she may well know that she will be stirring up feelings for y...

Here is how I am confused. Don't you love your best friend? And at end of day aren't you supposed to put your best friends needs over you

 

[illusionist]

At the end of the day we all need to look after our own well-being, and if that means not being around someone, for whatever reason, that's how it must be.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

In my situation it kills me as a male to say that a female doesn't feel safe around me. That is the hardest thing for a male with a heart to say

 

[EveHarrington]

This kind of fear based on a trait and not the person is actually quite common with PTSD.

I hope you can stop personalizing it and realize it's a function of the trauma.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

This kind of fear based on a trait and not the person is actually quite common with PTSD.

I hop...

I have been getting better at not taking it personal. Some things are harder to stomach and will take more time to take no offense to it

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Why is she having a panic/anxiety attack every time I look at her?

For me (and I havent read other replies) I freak when people look at me because my brain says "they're gonna hurt you". If its someone I know, non-relationship then I project what negitive things that I think they are thinking about me. If its a relationship I think " all they want me for is sex", or "they think im ugly", or "they think im 'too much", or....

They are all congitive distotions but all real to me.

But everyone is an individual so why she does it is likely different from why I do it.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

For me (and I havent read other replies) I freak when people look at me because my brain says...

But that's the opposite of what I think. How can she change her view

 

[Deleted member 33287]

For me (and I havent read other replies) I freak when people look at me because my brain says...

How do you feel about someone that you have told

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Statsattack depends on the situation but usually some congitive distortion like "they think im crazy" or "they think im too much" etc.

 

[Whyteferret]

Probably best thing to do is disappear from her life for a few months. She can't look at me the sam...

@Statsattack

IMO, no don't disappear from her life. She made herself vulnerable and you not being there could send a message that she's dirty, broken, etc.

There seems to be a rough situation. She needs space but not the possible feeling of being abandoned. It's pretty common for people to back away when they "come out" about trauma. It feels unsafe and vulnerable.

I'm not sure what the answer is. Perhaps find a way to connect in a manner that still gives her some room?

 

[Deleted member 33287]

What I did past Monday is send her a text and Winnie the Pooh quote. Every two weeks going to send a text and a Winnie the Pooh quote

 

[Whyteferret]

What I did past Monday is send her a text and Winnie the Pooh quote. Every two weeks going to send...

I like this idea. You're giving space but letting her know you're still there for her.

I'm happy you're standing by her. A lot of people don't.