How 'coherent' Are Your Flashbacks?

[dylasd]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. It's really helpful to hear that other people have different experiences... I don't know many others with PTSD, and so often you only hear about visual and auditory flashbacks. I didn't even know that tactile flashbacks existed until I started having them and talked to my therapist and psychiatrist about it. Even when I do get visual flashbacks, I can't see much (it's pretty dark, etc.) - the primary thing is loss of my present-vision rather than actually being able to see detailed things. So most of the actual information I have about the abuse is tactile.

Does anyone have a good link for information about emotional flashbacks? I'm not totally sure what they are. Normally in flashbacks I am physically in a lot of pain, and feel the same stuff that I could feel at the time. I generally also cry out/scream/cry and hyperventilate, sometimes say stuff like "no" or "stop" and have a strong physical response (curl up, shake almost like a seizure). But I do also feel the same emotions that I felt at the time - panic, terror.. and then sometimes I dissociate and go emotionally numb. Not sure if that kind of thing means the flashbacks are emotional as well as tactile. But I'm not sure how I could have a tactile flashback without feeling those emotions, so perhaps it is a different thing.

 

[Abstract]

Hi,

There is an article on "emotional flashbacks" in the article section and I think under self help.

It is if you experience the emotional aspect of what you describe without the other sensory experiences. I find I also dissociate and freeze when they happen.

For me most of my intrusions are not flashbacks and are what I call photo's. They are very vivid lifelike depictions of a scene or situation and are mostly accompanied by intense emotional states and sometimes physical sensations. They can hit me in a strobe affect.

I have never had any auditory experiences as far as I am aware. Sensory and visual are what most of them are made of.

Often the rest of the room or area is blacked out or appears not be there and the person or face etx will be in front of me. Whether flashbacks are just an instant or play out longer they are seldom a long reneactment and rather feel like being in a semi frozen space in time in the past. They also tend to be before the worst if I am able to connect them to something specific.

When it comes to stuff connected to the period of time that I have no memeories it is very different. The only visual I have had has been one particular photo accompanied with sensory stuff. Mostly I just go into a terror freeze and the room drops away. They are very intense and I had a sense of what they connected to or know what triggered them but I have no true memories or information. One particular sensory experience often happens with it This is also the youngest stuff that I have.

Something to think of is that if you didn't see anything when it happened you won't later. For example if you had your eyes closed.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Is this the one you're thinking of Abstract?
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/complex-trauma-and-emotional-flashbacks.13765/

 

[Barberian]

My flashbacks were of a different nature than most here. I was not sexually abused except a short period of being molested. The molestation didn't traumatize me, but did cause some homophobia and hatred through my teens and 20's.

Thankfully my flashbacks are usually very short, and as of this writing, I don't have them very often anymore, but they vary depending on triggers. My flashbacks are very, very vivid. I see my surroundings crystal clear. For that brief moment I am there again. I don't remember the voices clearly except a few instances. The sights, most of the sounds, emotions, motivations, temperature, humidity, what was on my mind. It's as if I've been teleported through space and time, put back on the boat, in the gulf, during the war(s) and the two cruises I was on, in between.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

It's as if I've been teleported through space and time

I totally understand that. I've had that with both kinds of flashbacks. The thing about having that with the emotional flashbacks for me is sometimes they happen so suddenly and I get so confused that I don't even realize that's what's happening to me until it's over and I'm thinking about it.

 

[Barberian]

Great, because I tired to remember how vivid the flashbacks were, I'm remembering them, and the boat in general, in great detail. I'm having memories that are causing flashback type memories. I'm not sure if I should call them flashbacks or just very vivid intrusive thoughts. Is there a difference? I'm able to snap out of them as they happen, but they are intrusive none the less.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm not sure if that's a kind of flashback or not. But maybe it could be that remembering the boat could be a trigger for you. And I agree intrusive thoughts are awful and so hard to shake. They make me so frustrated.

 

[Abstract]

The way I understand it a flashback is when one is in the experience not seeing the experience. It is also all encompassing rather than recall. Thinking about something is not a flashback but experiencing something as if it is happening in the now is. Thinking about something can trigger a flashback and other intrusive experiences where one is viewing something rather than experiencing something can be traumatic intrusions though not flashbacks.

 

[Venator]

Thinking about something can trigger a flashback and other intrusive experiences where one is viewing something rather than experiencing something can be traumatic intrusions though not flashbacks.

It's all very confusing. Right now I'm having just nonstop auditory hallucination level flashbacks of things said to me during the abuse. Or are these considered intrusive thoughts because they're not a 'complete' experience? I'm not sure of the proper definitions.

 

[dylasd]

As far as it has been explained to me, it is a flashback once you are having sensory experience of the trauma, regardless of how many different senses that encompasses. If it feels like something from the past is happening in the present, that is a flashback, even if you can only feel the past event with some of your senses. There's quite a clear line for me... if I'm just thinking about the abuse I can get very distressed, but it doesn't make me cry out in pain. Only actually feeling it again will do that. I'd say if you are having visual experiences of the past (which take over and prevent you from seeing the present) or similarly with auditory experience, that is a flashback.

 

[Abstract]

I have never received a definitive answer about that Venator but from my understanding if you are actually experiencing the auditory stuff as if they are happening now then it is a flashback. As far as I understand it flashbacks can vary in how far one is back there by percentage.

If something is visual and one is seeing a representation of an experience rather than being inside of that experience looking out then it is an intrusion not a flashback.

 

[Bubblegirl]

I have also have the "frozen" episodes spoken of. Until about 4 years ago I had an alter, but with much therapy and work, she and I fused. I did not have dissociative episodes from then until yesterday. Lately I have been under a trmendous amount of stress, my husband is in poor health, had a stroke and his personality is different. Sometimes he triggers me for some reason that seems to exist in his own head. Yesterday he drove crazy in the car and I was so terrified that I entered the "frozen" state for about an hour, then slowly came out. I am still not feeling quite myself.