Paul, interesting thread mate. I believe PTSD does have an impact upon our relationships when they head towards imminent death. Depending on how far within our healing process we are, depends on how we often are within a relationship. I was an absolute bastard at times, still can be if pushed hard enough, and that has impacted Kerrie, no doubt at all. Yes, she has done things that impacted me also. We both bring the past in at times, though neither of us generally do it to hurt one another, more if it is relevant to a conversation at the time, but not for defensive purposes. Our past is our past, and can never be forgotten, and can be discussed, its only when our past is used to hurt one another, that is where things change.
If your wife tells you that your not emotional, chances are your not, and that is PTSD. I do the same things at times, especially if stressed, PTSD will force me to close up tight, and unlocking me takes time, as usual.
Now this is where things change though, in that if one or the other step over the bounds of trust, cheating, and so forth, then they are not reasons to quantify PTSD, they are very different. If PTSD, or any other issue ends a marriage that is one thing, but when excuses such as flirting or the like are used in conjunction with PTSD, that is wrong regardless who does it, and trust has been lost. If you lose trust, you lose the very basic foundation relationships are built upon. I am the same, yes, I love Kerrie, however; love does not stand in my way if it also means unhappiness. Lots of people stick around in relationships for all the wrong reasons, not the right one's... so the big question is: are you staying or going for the right reasons? If the answer is yes, then you know you have made the right decision.
Lets be honest, busting from relationships is tough, regardless how much we try and be strong about it, its tough. The fallout always gets both sides, and can go on for months, longer even, regardless how much we often believe it doesn't impact us. If we have been with someone for a long time, we become used to that person, accustomed to having them present within our life. When they are gone, it hurts us, no doubt.... and often these are the times when people step back into wrong decisions, getting back together because of the hurt only, even though they know deep down it is still because of the wrong reasons, not the right.
Its about clarity I guess.... we must look at what we feel, how we feel, and whether we will be happy or not to live our lives with this person, accepting them how they are, because its not right to change any person for personal benefit. People change going into a relationship, moving from single lifestyle to coupled lifestyle, so people automatically change, but they are often for the good. Relationships move and revolve on trust, and if a person loses that, or they never really had it in the first place, then the relationship is set to fail when it began IMHO.
