How Could I Know What It Tasted Like?

[Ebifa]

Yes, I have met a few a few people who have had false memory and two of them on here. It seems its usually suggested to....

It came on suddenly, out of the blue. I didn't understand why it was happening.

 

[Ibog]

Do you have any other indicators that something like that happened to you?

We are not the Oracle of Delphi here - this could be a false memory, or it could not. From following this thread it seems you discount and argue against all indications that there could be another reason for you "knowing" what that tastes like. And I put knowing in quotation marks because you can't "know" if you were right just from reading descriptions online. If you think you were abused, why focus on this taste aspect? Focus on what you were actually seeing and piece together if that may have actually happened.

On that note, our minds have many ways to trick us into believing things. Just look at the prevalence of false witness testimony and you'll see how common it is to mix up, conflate, and add storyline to our memory.

I, for one, had a good idea of what that tasted like well before I actually did. I'd picked up enough info subconsciously before to have been pretty spot on when I actually did taste it...

 

[Ebifa]

Do you have any other indicators that something like that happened to you?

We are not the Oracle of Delphi here - this.....

There is nothing for me to piece together. My eyes in the flashback were closed. I don't remember any auditory information. I have no idea where this could have come from other than possible demonic possession. All I have were the emotions of terror, the taste, the pressure, the gagging, and my ongoing aversions after the fact. I wasn't educated about these things while growing up nor did I spend any time with peers who could have told me.

I'd be relieved to know it was just a hallucination.

 

[Ibog]

Ok, if it just happened once there are a number of reasons this could have happened, none of which are "normal" in a sense that it could happen to just anyone. Drugs, sleep deprivation, other forms of trauma, etc could all be an explanation. If it's been seriously impacting you, you could bring it up with your T and see where it takes you. No shame in that.

That said, I don't think the taste aspect is a reliable indicator of this being a true flashback. There are too many variables to explain that taste in your mouth.

 

[Ebifa]

Ok, if it just happened once there are a number of reasons this could have happened, none of which are "normal" in a sens...

Drugs can at least be completely ruled out. I've never used.

My therapist does not work with trauma at all, so I have to be referred out.

 

[Uhej]

Drugs can at least be completely ruled out. I've never used.

My therapist does not work with trauma at all, so I have t...

I would, for now, try to just let it go unless you have other things come up. This one incident could have came from any number of things.

 

[Kepa]

I have no idea where this could have come from other than possible demonic possession. All I have were the emotions of terror, the taste, the pressure, the gagging, and my ongoing aversions after the fact.

Just as an example - this is quite close to the memory I have of my mother squirting liquid soap in my mouth, because I had cursed. I was probably around 5 years old. She pinched my nose shut, using the same hand to cover most of my face (indluding my eyes) and push my head back against the couch where I was sitting. With my nose plugged and also in protest, I opened my mouth and there was this nasty thick taste everywhere. I did not see what it was, so I did not associate it with soap - I had no idea what it was, and I was panicking because I really thought I was choking. I don't really remember how it ended, but I remember afterwards being explained to that it had been soap - as in, 'I'll wash your mouth out with soap' for saying something 'bad'.

It could have been medicine. It could have been eat a food you don't like. It could be an amalgamation of memories. Or, it could be a flashback. All of these are possible, and none of it is answerable until you start really talking about where it comes from.

Are you in therapy?

 

[Ebifa]

Are you in therapy?...

Yes, but as I said before, I'm being referred out. I have to deal with this on my own in the meantime.

 

[Ziki]

a fully acted out flashback of something I've never experienced

Depending on what your interpretation is of fully acted out, if the taste and the actions matched then I would guess that there is a reason for this. I don't think that one spontaneously acts out a flashback without it having happened. So is the question here whether the taste triggered it off or did the taste come once the flashback set in.

You know that none of us can tell you whether this was real or not. We can only help you look for clues as to what your truth about it is.

I would suggest leaving it alone until you get a proper trauma therapist. Otherwise you may be making pathways that will be hard to break as you mull this over. Not easy, I know, but I would try not to dwell on it yet. Not without proper guidance.

 

[Ebifa]

Depending on what your interpretation is of fully acted out, if the taste and the actions matched then I would guess that...

It happened within the incident. Not an external trigger.

 

[Kepa]

have to deal with this on my own in the meantime.

I got the impression that it's bothering you as a potentially missing memory, but you aren't currently having symptoms around it - correct?

If so, compartmentalize. There's nothing wrong with putting things away until you have the supports to deal with them properly.

 

[Ebifa]

I got the impression that it's bothering you as a potentially missing memory, but you aren't currently having symptoms ar...

I've been dealing with physical... symptoms... in my mouth and gagging. I keep a trash can nearby.

While I have had these issues on and off since that incident, usually triggered by something on TV (I shut it off immediately), I have never had anything as strong or vivid as that initial incident that I had described.