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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

This is a rhetorical question for me. I am nocturnal. I dread the late night hours because I know I do not fall asleep like a baby. It brings up feelings of deep embarrassment and shame. I feel like dying and not wanting to ever wake up again. I dont like this part of my life. In fact, I hate it. I know I can't sleep well. I know that it is hard for me to sleep since I am like a zombie and meanwhile, I am super hypervigilant because during these late night hours, fights happen between my brother and his gf.

I hate this time of the year. I don't look forward to it. I feel unrecognizable.
 
I had weird dreams last night. I do not know if I got triggered by going to the gathering place. I hope I do not have any more. Otherwise I slept good.
 
:sleep: I barely slept 3 and 1/2 hours last night and don't know why I was so "tired and wired" but, my mind was wide awake while my body was in need of sleep/rest. I was up for 21 straight hours and am quite exhausted this morning :dead: ...yet I can't seem to go back to sleep. Surely there is a long nap in my 'not-so-distant' future.:unsure:
 

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