How Did Yours Manifest?

[VikVikViktorious]

I'm fascinated by our brain- and how it can suppress intense emotional pain until something triggers it.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to hear what the traumatic event was in your life, and what -if anything- caused it to initially manifest.

 

[Enigma1030]

I'm fascinated by our brain- and how it can suppress intense emotional pain until something trigg...

I was injured at work in 2007. I still have not been able to go back. Much of my identity was wrapped up in my independence and self-esteem due to my excellent work ethic and abilities. After the injury I noticed I was tense and nervous a lot. Especially in the morning. I thought what the hell do people who don't work...do.? Then the feeling I absolutely need to be somewhere doing something or bad things will happen. It grew as.my time off and my dealings with "the system" became more involved. The workers compensation farce, is the most corrupt and inept, out right scam, and big fat lie. They would rather spend to make you go away, then spend less, fix you and get you back to work. The QME process that guarantees non biased evaluation? They all work for the same corporation... Who sells their services to? Not me that's right in this case the state of California workers compensation appeals board. Anyway, stop rant. It just got worse @nd worse, thoyhtmaybe early menopause, no, then I just thought I was losing my mind. It went undiagnosed for a while. I still am not comfortable saying it's ptsd, but its something and I'll bow to my learned cbt counsellor, who has been a life saver.

 

[Riot]

I'm fascinated by our brain- and how it can suppress intense emotional pain until something triggers it.

Uhm... develop PTSD after a traumatic event? :O_o:

 

[Friday]

I can tell you what brought on a major relapse of symptoms // aka my 2nd Major PTSD tailspin : I got divorced.

Spoiler: Words

Was just a perfect storm of events to kick my legs out from underneath me. I couldn't protect someone I loved, I was assaulted, had a f*ck load of major triggers and stressors in a very short period of time, increased stress, quit smoking, & lost all my other coping mechanisms. :p It was just a really bad year. Rug? Pulled out from under my feet. :wtf: ugh. This was following about a decade of doing really well / durn near asymptomatic.

What brought things on initially? No idea.

Spoiler: More words

I know I was diagnosed with PTSD about a year before I thought I had any kind of problem. Well. I remember my first panic attack. In a laundry room. Something banged next to my head. Several millenia later I woke up to my sgt half pinning me talking me down. But panic attacks & nightmares & shit were normal & manageable for the crowd I was with at the time. So was reeeeally wild behavior bracketing periods of being really busy. Work hard. Play hard. So I really have no idea how long those were going on before I was diagnosed. I just remember it was about a year after my diagnosis that I broke.

As far as any singular event? Nope. It wasn't any singular mission, operation, deployment, or event inside of any of those. Unless you count the first... Which was the first time in my life I felt like I really came alive, found myself, & knew where I belonged. Here. Inside this moment. Doing exactly what I was doing. That was a total paradigm shift. Something just clicked. The world had color, and purpose, and meaning, and sense...for seemingly the first time. I've found that outside of combat, in pieces. But never as a whole. So IDK. Maybe it was that amazing moment. Maybe it was all the f*cked up shit, and pain, and grief, and terrible things that followed. Maybe I don't have PTSD at all, but NormalLifeStressDisorder, since normal life is what's never really made sense after that. Maybe it was the first time my emotions shut off, and I went cold and hard. Maybe it was the first time I broke. Or the first time my cracks started showing, and my compartments started breaking down. No f*cking clue. I've tried to parse it. As yet, it doesn't.

 

[BlueOrange]

You may find it more effective to look at the Trauma Diaries than to ask this question in the way that you've asked it. The question you've asked requires a lot of pain and hard work to answer. Therefore, those who have answered it already (by writing a trauma diary) may be reluctant to put themselves through it again. Those who haven't answered it using that feature of this site are unlikely to feel more safe answering this question than they are to make use of the part of the site that exists for that purpose.

Speaking for myself now, in my case (with DID, as opposed to PTSD) the answer to the question is extremely complicated, and turns out to be less useful than you'd think. Some of the problems started at the same time as the first event. Some of the problems didn't happen until later events. Other problems didn't happen until I became aware that there was a problem. (And there are other problems that happened while I was avoiding being aware of the problem.)

 

[Deleted member 30036]

My Trauma started when i was very young 5-6ish my trauma was rape physical assault being mentally tortured by having to watch my brother and sister physically beaten for things i was told i did wrong my trauma didnt end til i was 12-13 then went through several years of court and when my abuser was found not guilty due to a hung jury i was dumped from the system with no support i did everything i could to suppress and avoid my memories then as i got older *23* i started getting the symptoms of PTSD which i then pushed back into my head and then a year later my brain said enough is enough and i started flashing back alot ended up with bad nightmares and terrors which i then booked into see a pdoc because i thought i was going insane.

 

[Glo809]

Air Florida flight 90, Jan 1982
I showed up the next morning and stayed there for two weeks on the recovery barge, that was where the (I still do not what to call them) were brought up to be photographed and inventoried.

I saw so many awful things, but it seems my ptsd was already well established.

So I just dealt with it, little did I know how this and other things were to haunt me today..
G

 

[Rumors]

I had a child and my mom died.... My "trauma" occurred while I was very young. Having a child the same age as what I remembered my experience to be sent me into a tail spin. Then my mom died and things went to hell in a hand basket quickly. I struggled along until I entered therapy. I am still struggling along but at least I have a goal.

 

[sun seeker]

I'm trying to get my mind around "traumatic event"... in the singular. For some of us it might be simpler to say what didn't happen to us.

Not trying to be picky, though it probably looks that way. It's just I'd honestly have no idea where to begin to answer this question.

 

[Glo809]

I'm trying to get my mind around "traumatic event"... in the singular. For some of us it might be s...

It's like a stuttering speach pattern, too much info for a single outlet.

 

[VikVikViktorious]

thanks for sharing! I too am not 100% sure or accepting of my diagnosis.

 

[Chem Lady]

My single mom tricked me and my siblings (all under the age of 9) into thinking she'd abandoned us... followed by loads of emotional abuse for many years.
The thing that precipitated the symptoms was nursing my husband through 6 months of chemotherapy with my mother yelling abuse at me at regular intervals throughout. There's only so much stress a person can take.