How Do I Discuss This With My Employer?

[Cat Herder]

I was doing well for years and relapsed, it has affected my performance and I have MGMT on my ass. It's making my stress a lot worse.

I am afraid to go on stress leave because I am afraid it will hurt me in the long run. Going on stress leave is a career hurter.

But they don't know I have this at all. I am afraid they will discriminate against me if I tell them, or think I'm not as capable.

 

[saffy]

HI Cat Herder.

How much do you value this job?

I can only say that if it was me I would ask for a meeting with your manager with a human resource manager present. I think by discussing it openly it will allow better understanding and allow you all to come up with a suitable solution where you keep your job and your health and the work does not get effected.

Leaving it will lead to more stress and that will affect your work and they will notice and come down on you for that and you might loose your job anyway.

Explain that sometimes you are triggered by ................... which can sometimes make you feel .................
It is due to a incident that happened in the past and that you are getting the support you need from docs ect but might need some support from your employees if at times things get over whelming. Work with them to find a quiet place to go or someone in particular you can go to if this happens so that it does not affect the other workers or your work. You value you it too much to risk letting the company down but also want to keep your job. Which is why you have approached them. ;) (you should not be expected to go into great detail about anything so do not think you have to go into big explanations).

Look at your contract for any thing that can be held against you legally. Discrimination on health grounds is frowned upon. Check out all your employment rights and work out a suitable win win solution with your employees.

Any employer worth their salt will work with you not battle against you.

It is much better in the long run to sort it out now than leave it to fester.

I hope that helps.


best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Cat Herder]

The head manager is coming next week. I am really scared. Will he drag me into a meeting room and yell at me?

 

[TLight]

Take the advice above. Start documenting triggering situations and inform your healthcare providers. Get support from HR.
No one is entitled to yell at you. NO ONE. It is unproductive, uncalled for, and not professional.

Best wishes.....you have support here.

 

[saffy]

He will be acting very unprofessionally if he does Cat Herder! And your employment rights will be violated if he does. As TLight said, nobody is entitled to yell at you.

Good luck. we are all here for you :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[ericaboo]

Cat Herder,

The decision to tell your employer, and/or go on stress leave all depends on that employer. In my experience, employers have to be more concerned about their bottom line than your personal situation. They may care about you personally, but they have a business to run, and a responsibility to put the business first.

If there is any way you can reduce your stress - at work and outside of work - to get back on track with management's expectations, that would probably be better... Once they know you have PTSD, they will always see that as a liability, and you won't be able to un-do that.

In making the decision to tell your employer (or not) you might consider the following:

1. How long have you worked there, and what does your long term performance record look like?
2. What has happened with other employees who went on leave - were they able to return successfully?
3. What would be your goal in telling them and/or going on leave? Is there a different way to achieve that same goal while continuing to work?
4. What would you do while on leave, or after telling them in order to improve your performance? What's your plan? If you're doing this just to get them off your back, the result may not be very good - again because they have a business to run, regardless to how compassionate they may be to your situation. If you communicate your plan to get some therapy, medication, support, coaching or other constructive activities, it will hopefully make your employer feel that you care about their business and you are doing all you can to get up to par.

I wish you the best in getting through this situation - it takes courage to work through it rather than running away or letting emotions run your decision making process. :ninja:

-Erica

 

[saffy]

On a legal and moral outlook the employer owes you a duty of care in the workplace and should at least be willing to listen and compromise. Any manager and any company worth their salt will be mature and professional enough to support their employees. They should even be insured against claims regarding negligence and failure of duty of care. food for thought?

 

[Cat Herder]

An update on this. I was let go, but I got a new job. My symptoms got away in things because I had a full-fledged relapse. I started smoking weed again and it helps me, I had quit it for years but came to the realization that when I use it I perform better at work and in life in general.

 

[Gamereign555]

Honestly its a risk. People who haven't experienced true anxiety and panic have no idea what the hell they are talking about on the subject. Even if they do, it is still a risk. I would rather not tell them at all and seek a therapists advise on the subject.

 

[saffy]

Well done for getting a new job CatHerder. Hopefully a new start and a new set of people who are more mature and caring to their team members.

I know what you mean about the greenery, I too feel that it calms me enough to think straighter.

Best of luck and wishes in your new venture :)

Saffy :)

 

[Cat Herder]

Thanks. I might quit this new job. Basically I am being relentlessly cyberbullied and I work in IT so getting off the computer is not an option. I went to the ER because I've been so stressed out and wanted a referral to a psychiatrist (the one I had left 6 months ago). They told me I should train in something else and get a new job. With a doctor recommendation I can get government assistance to pay for school.

 

[saffy]

Going back to school will help you develop new skills for a new job. What would you like to retrain in?

To be honest though I would go back and demand for the help to develop the skills needed to be able to deal with bullies too.

Cyber bullies are cowards who hide behind their screens. They lack ability themselves and are negative and worthless people. Putting others down makes them feel more powerful. But is a false sense of power. Bullying is not power at all.

You need to learn the skills to be able to deal with things like this so that you can do what you want to do in life. If that is computers then why should you go off and do something else because of bullies.

Talk to your doctor about this. See if there are any drop in assertiveness classes to help you. That will help you in the long run and help you decide whether you need or want to go off and do something else.

best wishes
Saffy :)