General How Do I Get X Bf To Join Site?

[Wtfiswrong]

this site is amazing and he suffers so bad. We don't speak but even if we never spoke again I'd still love for him to really explore this site. I mentioned I came here once and he laughed... thoughts ?

 

[caligirl03]

I would just send him the link for him to explore at his leisure when ready. What finally pushed you to break off your relationship?

 

[joeylittle]

I mentioned I came here once and he laughed... thoughts ?

I think you dropped the hint, and now he either picks it up or he doesn't. It can be hard for exes to both be members here. He'd possibly worry that you'd be peering in on his brain all the time. I know that if I knew anyone on here from my 3-D life - someone who wasn't a fellow sufferer - I'd have a hard time posting freely.

That's one perspective, anyway.

 

[Casey_03]

I get the impression from your post that you might be looking for excuses to reach out to him. No offense. That's just the first thought I had when I read what you wrote ... I could be wrong though. But maybe it's worth examining why you're still thinking about his emotional state of mind if you guys aren't in touch?

 

[Wtfiswrong]

Yeah no sh$& I am struggling here for sure.for what I am not sure. Maybe looking for something about myself at this point more than him. Why do I care about someone who doesn't care about me?

 

[Casey_03]

Maybe precisely because he doesn't care about you. Haven't read your background, but if you experienced abuse in the past, it would make sense to go for guys who are emotionally unavailable. I am guessing many people on this forum have been in that situation!

 

[Wtfiswrong]

Maybe precisely because he doesn't care about you. Haven't read your background, but if you experience...

No past abuse what so ever

 

[Never_falter2]

I do not think you can "make him" do anything. Whenever I tried to make a man do whatever it backfired. Some guys just do not like to be what they perceive to be "bossed around". You can try to convince him, you can tell him you will not read his post if he does not want you to.

 

[joeylittle]

Some guys just do not like to be what they perceive to be "bossed around".

Some women as well.

 

[TheMinsterman]

Yeah no sh$& I am struggling here for sure.for what I am not sure. Maybe looking for something about...

Because you actually care about yourself, you're looking for something to make you feel better about the break up, getting him to come here is a way of "helping" which will make you feel good.

Break ups are hard, don't vilify yourself, be kind to yourself and let yourself feel hurt, betrayed, whatever you need to be.

 

[dulcia]

It can be hard for exes to both be members here. He'd possibly worry that you'd be peering in on his brain all the time.

I want my SO to find a place he feels understood and supported. Early on, I sent him links to specific threads in here I thought he might benefit from reading, but at this point, I would rather he found somewhere else. I would abandon ship if I knew there was a chance he might be in here with me.