Relationship How Do I Help My Bf With His Ptsd Symptoms? I'm Fearing For His Life

[DistressedGF]

My boyfriend has ptsd, andI am worried for him. Not only am I worried about the unhappy thoughts he is all of a sudden receiving, but I am scared to death about the fact that he has no appetite. Four years ago, when his ptsd was at its worse, he stopped eating because he was never hungry. The doctor gave him only a few months to live. Is there any way I can support him and make him feel better about himself that may help sway the physical symptoms? I'm so scared that it is going to be as bad as it was years ago, and I don't want it to get to that point. I feel helpless but I want to be able to do something. If you have any words of advice PLEASE HELP

 

[Mark_H]

I can feel your pain. My wife has PTSD, and it is sometimes difficult to get her to eat. When she is triggered or having a panic attack, it seems like that is when her appetite flies out the window the most. She says something like, "I know I should eat, but I'm not hungry."

One thing that I've come to realize is that PTSD is as much a physical disorder as it is a mental one. You can't get rid of the physical symptoms, but you can help your partner cope with them.

Have you tried saying things like, "I love you too much to see you like this", "Please try and eat something", "I think you and I both want what's best for you"?

Don't invalidate his symptoms (mental or physical)—just listen and calmly validate them. You can make helpful suggestions without discounting how he's feeling. Make sure that he knows you're on his side, and that ultimately, he has control.

I hope this helps.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I'm not sure there is anything that YOU can do to help his symptoms. He is going to have to help himself. All you can do is hang by him, and let him know you love and support him.

As far as the not eating, you may be able to help a little with that. My vet loses his appetite when he is feeling bad too. He doesn't enjoy food at all, and said he would live off Soylent Green if he could. The only thing I can get down him at these times are smoothies and milkshakes. It's not ideal, but they have a little nutrition to them and keep his blood sugar up. It's more like drinking something than eating. Maybe you can get some of these into him? Again, it's not ideal, but it's better than nothing.

 

[Friday]

I did that, once upon a time... And at 6 feet tall, and not small boned, dropped down to 123lbs. You could see my hip sockets. Not a good look. (I wear a bikini at 160-180lbs). I know a lot of people who do it once totally out of ignorance. If you're not hungry? You don't eat.

Most of us eventually learn to rub 2 brain cells together to get a spark. It's still hard to remember to eat, and we have to be middling careful about what we eat (high calorie & nutrient dense, because we're gonna forget rather frequently... And ideally wet & easy to swallow, because adrenaline cuts the salivary response)... But we do eat. If it's already in the house. I just went out and spent $200 on food yesterday aaaaaaaand that's enough. Couldn't force myself to also cook any of it. Too much work.

Things to keep on hand:
- nutrition shakes
- soups
- high calorie snacks that don't need heating up
- easy foods like cereal & sandwiches & things that go in the microwave
- sugar sugar sugar sugar!!! (The brain runs off pure sugar / glucose. Not only does it help to be able to think, but the brain controls every other bodily response. To this end many years ago I switched almost entirely to soda. It means that no matter how bad off I get, at least my brain has fuel. And if my brain has fuel, I not only feel better, but can think better. Clearly, not diet/ sugar free/Italian soda, etc. Sugar or corn syrup. Literal life saver for me I don't know how many times).