How Do You Ask For Help?

[OKRADLAK]

When you are is a crisis, how do you ask for help?

I don't and I do not know how.

I went to the ER when I had not slept for 5 days and did hurt myself. They asked me if I was SI and I choked and said no.

So I got no help and the injury I sustained is still with me.

I have a T but we have to stop in 2 weeks because it was one of those insurance co deals they get.

I look better, I talk better, they think I am better but I am not.:(

I am not SI but I do not know how much more I can take.

 

[Roline]

I too am useless at asking for help :(

I really dont know what lengths you have to go to for people to realise you are screaming inside:(

It's just not fair

Anyway, I hope today brings a little relief

Take care x

 

[Nighthawk]

Asking for help is really hard. I am not good at it at all and yes my outside might look down but my inside is screaming for help. Being here and asking your question is a start in finding the right words to communicate in the outside world imo.
We are here if you need us.

 

[VDWngr1355]

I am in the same boat as you. I have been wanting to speak with my T for the last couple of sessions about this as well. During the next session I am planning on just making myself blurt it out because I don't think I am going to bring it up any other way.

 

[Roline]

Good for you VDWnger 1355 :tup:

 

[Deimos]

For me in the times I'm feeling this way I give hints to safe people. In doing so, it forces me to commit to dealing with it. For instance, recently I had a very low moment and did something really out of character. When I was dwelling on what I did, I sent my T a text. I basically said I'm ok right now but I did ____ and I feel I need to deal with that. If I don't get the issue out and commit to dealing with it I will hide it.

There is nothing wrong in asking for help. In contrary I think it shows strength. I hope you ask, what your doing here is a good start.

 

[Sammy]

I don't ask for help either. I pretend I am fine, isolate, sleep and watch stupid TV until I can drag myself to a better place. I have friends that are wonderful but are rather used to me disappearing. I can't seem to get them to understand I can't ask for help. They tell me to call, I try to explain to them I won't and it has nothing to do with them and I am not just being stubborn. If i do call someone and I get an answering service, I rarely leave a message. When I need help is when I am not going to call anyone. I have one friend who will call and check on me - she is priceless. I wish I could ask for help but I am afraid I would be asking all the time and wear out my friends. Even when I am feeling good, I don't call people! I am just antisocial most of the time.

Sorry if this is scattered... Can't think in a straight line these days.

 

[Blondie362]

Asking for help isn't a weakness - its shows courage, friends are friends for a reason otherwise you wouldn't have them in your life.
Dealing with PTSD is about getting the right support network around you, some people will be good for your recovery, some people won't respond the way you want them to.

For what its worth I like my own company and I guess will be seen as antisocial sometimes but I don't really care what people think about that,

I go into hibernation mode- but my friends understand that if I disapear off the radar for a while its because that's my choice, but they do text or email me to see if I am ok- some days I just don't want to talk on the phone- if I am having a tough day, or been awake all night and just need to sleep.

 

[ClairBear226]

I could have written Sammy's post myself almost word for word, except tbat I'm strangely a fairly social person. I'm who they go to talk to, though. When I need it, I will not pick up that phone. I can't do it. I think its partly a fear of being seen as weak and vulnerable, and partly that I fear the reaction they might have. I got boxed into telling the wrong person once, and it went very badly. I can't seem to get past the fear of it happening again. So... I hide in plain sight. I have people I know I could call if I needed too, and sometimes just knowing I could is enough. Other times I'm screaming inside and I wish they'd see without me having to say the words out loud. It's a lonely place to be.

 

[Tinyflame]

I have managed to do it a few times, and I was thankful I did.
But it is difficult- I think it is fear.

 

[SimplyComplex]

I dont have this specific problem but when I struggle needing to tell my t something, I email it. I can sort of disconnect better on an email.

 

[Sammy]

ClairBear, yup - that is me, too. That is also why I don't call anyone. I end up listening to their issues. It sometimes helps to be helpful but when I am in a very bad place, I just can't shoulder their grief and pain, too. When I go to church, I seem to be the person people turn to and lean on. I know all kinds of things about people I would rather not know. They open up and tell me all kinds of things. I like being trusted but sometimes I cannot carry their burdens, too. So, I isolate. I have plenty to carry on my own. I just wish there would be someone for me to lean on. Throw in a divorce after 24 years of marriage and I really just don't want to talk to people. In my mind, they are all going to turn on me. Not rational, I know.